All news stories are submitted by participants in Ill Bethisad, all of whom are welcome to submit stories from their respective parts of Ill Bethisad. Submissions may be edited for clarity, language or style.
BBC Transtemporal News Services -- 01.01.1999 -- Is no news really good news?
Erewhon, Empire of Emitemós -- Newspapermen everywhere are asking the same question: Is no news really good news? Reason being, up until this point, there has been no news whatsoever. Quipped one intrepid rookie reporter: "Well, I've only been on the job a couple weeks, but even I can tell that this world has been around for quite a while now. You'ld think more would be going on." Another, more seasoned, reporter was heard to whisper, from under her desk: "It's creepy, that's what it is. Absolutely nothing going on out there? I'm not comming out from under this desk until something happens!"[PB]
Lla Sul -- 14 July, 1898 -- Shipwrecked Man Rescued After Several Years
Original text: Pernauigasot c' om perry vor, et durant ke domonis.se az al isel, rompus sa la sew llonga. Gouiuefas y pluzeor ans; et-z-eliverasot-el la Armada Reyal. Dondrhuasot-li il capetans: Quhit wye daes ye hae twae kirkes, mon? Savus il capetans, Albaneck, ionte a nemez y Chomrow, mays y chapeuw y zew per li yen omèn ast po en var! Doponus il wortó a-z-el yen et deckis: C' aquel, moniem a nemez y Zi la Sulis. An at yin thonder? rhuasot il capetans. Ay, c' aquels. Ieo n' moniem pass nonck a nemez y Zi la Sulis!
A man was sailing upon the sea and as he approached an island, his boat wrecked. He lived several years and at last was recued by the Royal Navy. The captain asked him: "Why do you have two chapels here?" The captain, a Scot, knew that the Comro were ardent church goers, but two chapels for one man is too much! He pointed out one of them and said: "That's where I go to church of a Sunday." "And the other?" asked the captain. "Ah, that one. I don't never go there of a Sunday!"[PB]
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