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From the Arvorec Broadcasting Company's Internal Affairs Correspondant Paedryc Calad. Wednesday, November 28, 2001.
HAVAENEC SEPARATISTS BOMB GOVERNOR'S RESIDENCE. THE FALKLANDS -
At 1600 GMT the residence of the Governor Lord Aedyn apNerthyn for the Ynyasaw Havaenec
(known also as Islas Malvinas and Falkland Islands) was bombed by a device left in a carrier bag
in the foyer. As of yet, no group has claimed responsibilty for this act, although the YHR
(Ynysaw Havaenec Ryth) are suspected by sources to be the culprits.
The YHR have been relatively quiet over the past five years, since the imprisonment of their
leader, Taraen apEbonann in August 1996. The recommencement of these activites is worrying
at this time, yet Senate spokesmen have not yet commented, save to reassure the public that Lord
apNerthyn was not harmed in the bombing. [DJ]
APD Eurodesk Press Release, Friday September 21, 2001
Raguza, Sep. 21 (APD) - Prime Minister Aurial Ybl condemned the attacks
in Philadelphia and New Castreleon in the harshest terms on state radio
yesterday. He also said that the whole of the Dalmatian nation stands by
the people of the Solemn League and Covenant, and that Dalmatia is
prepared to assist the SLC in any manner needed, including military
support in case it is discovered that the "evil and despicable" acts of
terrorism were sponsored by a state. Sources inside the Dalmatian Defence
Ministry, on condition of anonymity, suggested that it is possible that
the government of the Islamic Republic of Sanjak might be involved.
BBC News Flash, New Castreleon SLC, Friday September 14, 2001
NEW CASTRELEON, SLC, Sep. 6 (BBC) - Reaction to the attacks just a few
days ago on the Solemn League and Covenant has been pouring in from world
leaders thick and fast. Prince Charles of England has taken a boat to the
SLC to offer his support and sympathy from the people of the FK, and King
Gereint XIII ffeil Padern, ill Terruin, has expressed that Kemr and the
Solemn League and Covenant will stand "side by side" in the coming days.
The attacks took place on Tuesday, when several dirigibles were
hijacked by persons unknown shortly after leaving Boston aerodrome. They
were all flights bound for Montrei. The two towers of the World Commerce
Centre in New Castreleon were both hit, when two hydrogen filled
dirigibles were deliberately exploded and simlutaneously crashed into the
towers. Another was deliberately crashed into one wing of the Pentacle,
the five-pointed building that serves as a military command centre for the
SLC, just outside Philadelphia, and a fourth crashed into woodland as it
headed for the government buildings in Philadelphia. The buildings in New
Castreleon later collapsed, and the death toll is expected to be in the
thousands.
Speculation continues as to who was behind the attacks, as rescue
attempts to free people trapped under the rubble and investigations
continue. Further questions are being asked about security at aerodromes,
and how such vehicles, travelling at such slow speeds, could have brought
on such terrible events. [DML]
BBC News Release, Kemr, Monday August 6, 2001
ESCA, KEMR Aug. 6 (BBC) - One hundred and twenty two years of controversy within the
Province of Dûnein come to an end this week with the abolition of the Dumnonian Language
Boards made official by Act of the Tinners Senate this morning. The controversy began in 1879
when the Tinners Senate overthrew the "Tyrrany of the Brithenig Language" in the Province;
and made the various languages and dialects of the Province legal for all uses except in the
Church, where Latin has always and still does hold sway, and in Court, where the usual language
is Brithenig and Latin is still
in wide, though declining use. By 1881, no fewer than six regional Language Boards were in
operation, charged with "stabilising the state of the spoken language of Dûnein and
formulating a Standard language which may be spoken, written and read by any Dumnonian
person." Unfortunately for the Boards and indeed for the Kerno language, they were never able
stabilise the language and very quickly fell to arguing amongst themselves over issues of
orthography and which letters to allow in the alphabet. Some of the stongest arguments arose
over what might be considered trivial minutia. A Durow newspaper reported in 1886 that the
membership of one Language Board - consisting of elderly philology professors - came to blows
over whether or not the letter "thorn" (þ), which had long been used in some regions of
Durow, should be admitted to the new Standard alphabet.
The debates have raged ever since; though have usually become more substantial. The more
recent discussions have centered on whether to continue using the traditional written form of
Kerno, or the current mode of speech as is now heard spoken by the populace of the Province.
The usual arguments in favour of the traditional form are stability despite the changes that
happen in spoken language, long tradition of use and a considerable literature built up.
Arguments in favour of the current mode center on the fact that no one can understand the
traditional form without much study and that the literacy rate should climb out of the gutter
and more or less match the northerm Kemrese averages.
The Act signed into law this morning follows an address made by the High King last week in
which he stressed the need for concluding the never ending language debates. The law
stipulates the abolishment of all existing Language Boards and Language Associations; bans
the future formation of official language bureaux; and once and for all establishes a
Provincial standard. This new Standard consists of the spoken dialect centered at Esca
combined with the written orthography proposed by University of Glastein in the mid 1980s.
Dr. S. la Cafurn or St. Perran's Univerity, Trurow, one of the Province's leading experts of
literature and language supports the decision, citing the need for a "single standard
language grounded amongst many local varieties", which in the opinion of many linguists
throughout the Province is the only way to combat the spread of Brithenig on its westward
march through the Province. [PB]
BBC Wednesday, July 18, 2001
CASTRELEON - Riots broke out in Castreleon this weekend, and sit-down protests being
held held outside the Tibetan and Taiwanese Embassies in Scotland, England and Kemr are still
continuing. This following the announcement of the Olympic Committee to allow Lhasa to host
the Olympic Games in 2008. Protesters say that Human Rights are the main issue in this protest,
and some are reportedly on hunger strike.
Tibet and Taiwan, which have jointly controlled and occupied Mainland China since the
defeat of the Communist forces in 1949, state that Human Rights is not an issue as it is an
internal matter. The exiled leader of Tibet, the 16th Dalai Lama, who is recognised by many as
the true leader of Tibet, thus denying the puppet leader, Qi Siba, installed by Taiwan, has
expressed a wish for peace and calm, and hopes to begin negotiations for peace in the region.
The Government in Castreleon has yet to comment. [DML]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via BBC, Wednesday, May 30,
2001
TRAPCZA, DALMATIA (APD) - In a surprise move, several divisions of the
Sanjak army poured across the Dalmato-Sanjak border into the province of
Dardania in the early hours of yesterday morning, advancing in some places
close to 19 miles before units of the Dalmatian army could make contact
with lead elements of the Sanjak forces. The invader completely overran
the towns of Beczanu, Kampa da Miarle and Vusztra, but our troops were
able to solidify the front one mile southwest of Trapcza, an important
mining town in Dardania province. In immediate retaliation, the Dalmatian
Air Force launched 20 medium-range rockets at various targets inside
Sanjak. Fortunately the Dalmatian Armed Forces had already been fully
mobilised not long ago. [FGV]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via BBC, Wednesday, May 23,
2001
CZIETA DA NARUL, DALMATIA (APD) - An enormous conflagration erupted at
the Dalmanaft petroleum refinery near Czieta da Narul yesterday morning,
and by evening more than three quarters of the facility was ablaze. The
refinery's own fire brigade was joined by local fire brigades as well as
brigades from towns as far away as Yablanica. Army firefighters and
citizen volunteers joined in as well, adding up to over 500 people engaged
in trying to control the blaze. Desite their valiant efforts the fire
continued to rage well into today. With the storage tanks mostly consumed,
the fire began to die down, especially after the supply pipes feeding raw
oil to the facility were shut off. An investigation has been launched to
determine the cause of the blaze. Investigators declined to speculate. One
investigator, though, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that the
blaze is being viewed as suspicious.
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via BBC, Wednesday, May 23,
2001
TIRANA, ALBANIA (APD) - Dalmatian Prime Minister Aurial Ybl arrived
here today for an emergency meeting with Albanian President Isa Zogu to
discuss the purchase of large quantities of petroleum products from
Albania's refinery at Ballsh to relieve the strain created by the
destruction of Dalmatia's largest refinery near Czieta da Narul. While
Dalmatia maintains strategic reserves of petroleum products to support the
country for an extended period of time, Ybl said that it would
nevertheless be a more prudent course of action to import fuel and other
distillates of petroleum than to deplete the strategic reserves.
APC News Release, Tuesday, May 15, 2001
CARTAGENA, CARTAGENA (APC) - Foreign Affairs Minister Lemaitre has
pointed out to President Jaime Bush of Florida-Caribbea that the humanitarian
aid which Cartagena has been sending to Ha‹ti is not intended as an act of provocation
against Florida-Caribbea. Lemaitre also pointed out that the policy of the Bolivarian
Commercial Organisation (BCO) is one of neutrality during a hot conflict. In the mean
time, however, Haiti is recognised as a sovereign nation that has not caused
any provocation justifying Florida-Caribbea's blockade. Lemaitre also suggested
that the commerce between Cartagena and Alta California is not part
of any conspiracy against the Bush brothers. Rather, it can be pointed out that
Cartagena's commerce with Tejas and Florida-Caribbea has not been suspended. [CT]
Reuters News Release, Tuesday, May 15, 2001
MAY 15 (Reuters) - The comedy and linguistics team of Joe Greenberg and
Doug Adams is no more. Greenberg, 85, died a week ago of cancer; Adams,
49, on Friday of an unexpected heart attack.
They were best known for their masterwork "Hitchhiker's Guide to the
World's Languages", which followed the fictionalized adventures of
a group of planet-hopping travelers, joined by a British everyman
named Arthur Dent. A biting satire of technology, politics,
bureaucracy, and the multiple origins hypothesis, the book sold
nearly 14 million copies around the world.
An earlier work, "Life, the Universe, and Africa", was the subject
of furious controversy at first, with its partition of all African
languages into four giant families, but is now generally accepted
by scholars in the field. Greenberg's solo work "Dirk Gently,
Linguistic Typologist" is said to be one of the most cited works in
comic linguistics. [JC]
Omnipresse News Release, Sunday, May 13, 2001
COPPENHAGEN (Omnipresse) - The winner of the 2001 edition of the Eurovidere song
contest is
Halb-Korv, a group from the province of Viru in the Baltic League.
The contest, transmited by wireless worldwide, grouped together contestants from 23
European states who each performed an original song. Every participating country then voted
for its 10 favorite songs, though without being able to vote for its own countrymen. The
winner received a monetary reward and the honour of having its home country be the next one to
host the event.
This year's line-up has been criticized by many artists, since sixteen of the contestants
performed in Brithenig, six in related British dialects and only one in its native language.
Critics attribute this to the disproportionate popularity of Kemrese culture in the modern
world. [FGV]
BBC Press Release, North American Bureau, Sunday, May 13, 2001 [Dan Pollock and Jill Lawless, Staff Writers]
MONTREI, MONTREI (BBC) - Acclaimed English author, Douglas Adams, whose
cult science fiction comedy "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" drew
millions of fans, has died at the age of 49.
The Englishborn Adams died Friday of a heart attack in Montrei, a
family friend, Elizabeth Gibson, said Saturday. She said Adams collapsed
taking exercise in a local gym.
"He was not ill," Gibson said. "This was completely unexpected."
The "Hitchhiker's Guide", which began as a British Broadcasting
Corporation radio serial in 1978, is a satirical adventure about a group
of interplanetary travelers. It opens with the Earth being destroyed to
make way for an intergalactic highway.
It was in turn made into a book, selling 14 million copies worldwide,
and later into a television series.
"Hitchhiker's Guide" was followed by several sequels, including "The
Restaurant at the End of the Universe", "Life, the Universe and
Everything" and "So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish".
Geoffrey Perkins, the BBC's head of comedy, called Adams "absolutely
one of the most creative geniuses to ever work in radio comedy". "He
probably wrote one of the greatest radio comedy serials ever, certainly
the most imaginative", he added.
Born in Cambridge in 1952 and educated at Cambridge University, Adams
began his career as a writer and script editor at the BBC.
Adams is survived by his wife Jane Belson, his daughter, Polly and his
mother, Jan Thrift who resides in Cambridge. [PB]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via BBC, Sunday, May 13, 2001
RAGUZA, DALMATIA (APD) - Prime Minister Aurial Ybl has accepted the
Helvetian apology, which acknowledges that Dalmatia was not in fact
responsible for the assassination of the Royal Family. Ybl reportedly
"welcome[s] the positive changes" taking place in Helvetia at this time.
He said that he is looking forward to meeting with the new Helvetian chief
of state after the upcomming elections, and to working together with
Helvetia in building a strong democratic system there.
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via BBC, Sunday, May 13, 2001
MITROVICA, DALMATIA (APD) - Artillery fire from Sanjak landed in this
Dalmatian border town late last night, damaging the city's combined rail
and bus station and a small greengrocer's shop next to it. It is not yet
certain whether the barrage was a deliberate attack against Dalmatia or if
the shelling was meant for ethnic Serb rebels operating in the area. Prime
Minister Ybl has asked Sanjak to confirm the status of this incident. As a
precaution, however, the 17th Mountain Infantry Brigade and the 112th and
178th Motor Rifle Regiments were rushed to the area.
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via BBC, Sunday, May 13,
2001
PONTUL AF SANAYA, DALMATIA (APD) The second leg of the Dalmatian
football championship finals was played at this central Dalmatian town on
Friday, which saw the home side, Sansku FK, lose to Biafiar Anxiara 0:3.
The first leg, played at Anxiara, ended in a 1:1 draw, thus Anxiara won
the championship 4:1 on aggregate.
Ageintz de Nötzech de Jelbätz via Llo Themp, Castreleon, Saturday, May 12,
2001 - Pfeter Santz Johan, Political Correspondant.
HELVETIAN REBEL LEADER PRESIDENT - WÄREN, HELVETIA
In a landslide victory Johann Elchäsch, who leads the Partzetz den Livertzatzen den Jelbätzen, was recently elected president in the first
free elections since King Geröntz dissolved the Schanatz in 2000. Elchäsch
vows that he will guide the country into a new age of prosperity and
tolerance. He has also sworn that he will find former General Delföntz,
leader of the abortive military junta who disappeared last year.[DJ]
Ageintz de Nötzech de Jelbätz via Llo Themp, Castreleon, Saturday, May 12, 2001 [Pfeter
Santz Johan, Political Correspondant]
AWEINTZ, HELVETIA (ANJ) - REVOLUTION IN HELVETIA - "La revolutzon pfoplär a
wecht! Nonch se
a besn den rätzonen, kalmen e wigilentzen en dafjandan la livertzatz e eil wal”r natzonäl!"
is the cry heard in Aweintz this morning, and indeed across the country as revolutionaries
proclaim their victory: 'The popular revolution has triumphed! Now we need reason, calm and
vigilence in defending national freedom and values!'
At 0800 hours EMZ today the people of Aweintz, in the W„litz province of Helvetia, were
driven by the suffering under Delf”ntz's totalitarian r‚gime to take to the streets in
protest. General Delf”ntz immediately dispatched the Third Infantry Regiment to the historic
city and many innocent civillians were shot dead. When news of the deaths reached the other
large cities, Raurech, Luzern, Kasteln”w, Kastelalb and Waren, protests began there against
Delf”ntz and his ecclesiastical crony Cardinal Paul of Waren. Hand-to-hand fighting was taking
place in the streets of virtually all Helvetian towns.
In many areas, the army defected to the side of the revolutionaries, and only the élite
Guard were left defending the General and the Cardinal. In Waren, the Royal Palace was
attacked by protestors, and Delf”ntz escaped by helicopter. His current whereabouts are
unknown.
The crowd refused to enter the Cathedral of Santz Maria in Waren, and called for Cardinal
Paul to show himself. After an hour Bishop Karl Genawesch of Kompflentz appeared, with the
Cardinal handcuffed to him. Cardinal Paul is now under house arrest.
At 2100 hours EMZ the PLJ (Partzetz den Livertzatzen den Jelb„tzen - the reformist party,
which was banned by Ger”ntz after the last election in 2000) occupied the KTJ television
studios in Waren and declared itself the provisional government of Helvetia, with
parliamentary elections scheduled for a fortnight's time.
The closure on Sunday of all non-Catholic churches, along with bars, nightclubs, sports
venues, theatres and the imposition of a curfew seems to have been the last straw in a history
of Helvetian dissatisfaction which must date back to the ascension of King Ger”ntz in 1995.
The repeal of the Minimum Wage Act, and mass unemployment as a result of the late King's
policies have brewed dissatisfaction for many years. The parliament was nothing more than an
advisory body to the king, who made all executive decisions. When the people tried to make
their dissatisfaction heard by electing the PLJ to the parliament with an overwhelming
majority, King Ger”ntz banned the (admittedly anti-monarchist) party and refused to consent to
the parliament.
Public suspicion has been that Delf”ntz himself had Ger”ntz assassinated and was plotting
to make Helvetia a military dictatorship. Ger”ntz's father had reportedly promised Delf”ntz
that after his death a constitutional monarchy would be implemented, with the King, the
Military and Parliament being equal partners. When this did not happen, relations between
Delf”ntz and Ger”ntz deteriorated rapidly, leading to the General's attempt to grab power for
himself. To conceal his involvement in the coup, Delf”ntz blamed a convenient scapegoat- the
Dalmatians.
The Provisional Gorvernment of Helvetia extends its most sincere apologies to the
Dalmatian
government for the actions of General Delf”ntz, and hopes for mutual friendship and aid during
the difficult processs of Helvetia's becoming a modern democracy. [DJ]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via BBC, Tuesday, May 8, 2001
GORAJDA, DALMATIA (APD) - A group of 17 ethnic Serbs left this small central
Dalmatian town
headed for Montrei in western North America after a 35 minute advertisement was aired on
TV-Gorajda. Zoran Dabicz, an ethnic Serb orthodontist from Gorajda and the organiser of the
group, said that they see this as a great opportunity to build a new, peaceful life away from
the troubles of Dalmatia.
Meanwhile, the special commission set up by local police to determine who is responsible
for the advertisement issued a statement today regarding their findings. Sgt. Florian Roja,
spokesman for the commission, said that the name on the contract, Vuk Bundalo, belongs to a
now-dead ethnic Serb child who died in 1974 at the age of ten months. Based on the physical
description given by the agent of TV-Gorajda who set the deal up, Gorajda police have arrested
a 26 year old ethinc Dalmatian man. Oraciu Filipesku of Mexhexha, a village near Gorajda, was
taken into custody late last night and police plan to charge him with violating several points
of Paragraph 17 of the Constitution of the Republic of Dalmatia, which is the section dealing
with interethnic relations. One of the points which Filipesku is charged with violating is
point 3, which prohibits incitement of any form of ethnic cleansing. Sgt. Roja said that this
advertisement incites a "reverse ethnic cleansing" in which Serbs leave Gorajda of their own
accord. If convicted, Filipesku could face the death penalty, which is the strongest
punishment meted for constitutional crimes; however the worst punishment meted for such a
crime in many years was a sentence of 70 years at hard labour. [FGV]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via London Times, Tuesday, May 8, 2001
RAGUZA, DALMATIA (APD) - The State Enterprises Department of the Ministry of
Finance and
Commerce announced today that they are looking for domestic or foreign investors to purchase
several state-owned firms as part of the new Social Credit government's economic
rationalisation plan, which includes privatisation of many public companies. One conditional
of the privatisation of these public companies is that the purchaser must continue to operate
the firms in question employing Dalmatian workers; they may however improve efficiency by
laying off some workers if necessary. The companies in question are Dalmapetrol, which is the
subsidiary of the Dalmatian Petroleum Corporation (Dalmanaft) which operates petrol stations
throughout the country as well as in Albania; Dalmaton, the state-owned record label;
Dalmatrans, the container shipping company and Dalmauto, which operates lorries and
long-distance passenger busses in the country. PTT Dalmatia is to be partially privatised: the
company has been separated into two units, Telekom Dalmatia, which is to be privatised, and
the Post Office, which is to remain a state company. Biafiaruri da Dalmatia, the national
railway company, was listed on the Raguza Stock Exchange, with the state holding all shares.
[FGV]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via London Times, Tuesday, May 8, 2001
CZIETA DA SARAY, DALMATIA (APD) - The bus and tram drivers' strike in this city of
130,000
entered its 60th day this morning with no end in sight. Union spokesman Skender Xhafer said
the latest contract offer made by the city's public transit company, Kompania da Fekerul da
Czietaya da Saray (KFCzS), is insulting, and refused outright to put the offer to a vote by
the members of the union. Xhafer said that the union is asking for pay raises of 6%, 5% and 5%
over the next three years, but that the main sticking point is the company's desire to hire
part-time workers. KFCzS spokeswoman Marima Salajxhicz said that the offer of 4%, 4% and
5%
pay increases over the next three years is the best that the company can do, and said that
part-time workers are important, as they would save the company a great deal of money. She
said that part-time drivers would be employed on those bus routes which have eight or less
round trips a day on lines which are not heavily travelled but socially necessary and that the
money saved by the employment of part-timers would be used for much-needed repairs to the
main
bus and tram loop on Musala Boulevard near the City Hall. [FGV]
Agença pora la Aubixara Naçonau, International Bureau, News Release, Tuesday, May 8, 2001
MONTREI, MONTREI - (AAN) - MYSTERIOUS "ADVERTISEMENT" APPEARS IN
GORAJDA, DALMATIA - AAN,
the national news agency of Montrei remains baffled as to who is sending "advertisements" to
the town of Gorajda in Dalmatia.
The 35 minute long presentation was shown today at a news conference for Montreiano, as
well as foreign journalists. The video was obtained by the head of the international bureau of
the national news agency. The video features views from all over Montrei, as well as notable
landmarks, and scenes from village, town, and city life in Montrei. A translator was on hand
to translate the narration, which makes a special point to mention Montreianos do not hate
foreigners or minorities and that "even Serbs are tolerated here".
It is not known who produced and distributed this video to TV-Gorajda, but some speculate
that the tape may have been made by a group of Serbian immigrants who live in and around
Auvarao Street in the Las Paumas quarter of the capital.
The immigration and naturalization agency of Montrei expects more Serbian immigrants to
arrive in Montrei due to this "advertisement".
While acquiring citizenship in Montrei is considered a fairly simple process, there are
still laws regarding illegal immigration. Officals warn, that any Dalmatian Citizens entering
the country without the proper papers will be detained and sent back to Dalmatia. [BG]
Interbalkpress News Release, via BBC European Bureau, Budapest Hungary, Monday, May
7, 2001
GORAJDA, DALMATIA (IBP) - A 35-minute long television "advertisement" is being
regularly
aired in the southern Dalmatian town of Gorajda in which the majority of the population are
ethnic Serbs. The advert opens with beautiful panoramic scenes of Montrei, a country in
western North America, after which scenes of pleasant Montreiano life are shown. This takes up
most of the programme's time, which closes with an announcer saying that this is a country
where the people don't hate minorities and foreigners. "Even Serbs are tolerated here", the
announcer's voice says. It is fairly certain that this program does not come from any official
Montreiano source, but nobody at TV-Gorajda seems to know where it is from, apart from the
name on the contract to air the segment. [FGV]
Sandzacka Novinska Agencija News Release, via BBC European Bureau, Saturday, May 5,
2001
NOVI PAZAR, ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF SANJAK (SNA) - The Speech of Ajatallah
Mustafa Izetbegovic,
given at the Square of the Martyrs, Novi Pazar, on occasion of the Day of Independence:
"In the Name of Allah, the beneficient, the merciful. Defender of the people of Sanjak and
our Islamic brothers. Today is the day which marks the anniversary of our independence. The
day on which the heroic sons and daughters of our great nation, the children of Allah, could
finally celebrate their liberation from the infidel yoke, from the oppressive hands of Serbs,
Dalmatians and Austrians that have strangled and enslaved our people over the centuries. On
this day, we celebrate the martyrs of our Holy War of Liberation, the heroic warriors who gave
their lives for our freedom. Glory to them! They are all at the side of Allah in paradise now,
served by the Serb swine that they destroyed in battle. "But our celebration cannot be
completely joyous, as infidels are once again threatening our peace. In the north, the snake
that is the Kingdom of Serbia is infiltrating their mercernaries into our land, attacking our
brothers, raping our sisters, wives, and mothers, abducting our children. They are trying to
steal our holy land! But they will be stopped! By the will of Allah, we will destroy the
Serbs!
"The Dalmatian infidels have made it abundantly clear to us whose side they have taken.
While in public they say they are neutral, over the last three days their soldiers have
crossed our borders and attacked units of our Holy Army in support of the Serb swine. They
have mobilised their armed forces and are preparing to attack this great land. But the
Dalmatian dogs do not realise, brothers and sisters, that their cause is doomed to fail for it
is unjust. But remember the word of Allah as it is recorded in the Holy Quran, in the Sura of
the Spoils: 'when the unbelievers plotted against you, to kill you or to hold you prisoner,
they plotted well. But God plotted too, and God is the best of plotters.' To the infidels
I say, come! Attack us, and see the power of the wrath of Allah, which He will unleash upon
you embodied in the heroic soldiers of our Holy Army. Come to your destruction at the hands of
the just! Allahu Akbar! [FGV]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via London Times, Saturday, May 5, 2001
RAGUZA, DALMATIA (APD) - Foreign Affairs Minister Radu Lupul laughed
aloud at a press conference in which it was announced that Helvetian
authorities claimed that the note found with the corpses of the Helvetian
royal family was written by a Dalmatian. The note read "halvacianei
esmeren slugayea da nos!" Several irregularities were pointed out by the
Minister of Culture, Eliza Lupeska. Firstly, the term for "Helvetians" is
incorrect, as that would be "helvecinei". Secondly, "slugayea" is
incorrect not only because it is dialectal, but because it would be
written as "sluxheyea" if written in the northern dialect which uses "yea"
to mark the feminine definite plural. In the standardised writing system
used throughout Dalmatia the phrase would be rendered as "Helvecinei
esmeren sluxhele da nos", Minister Lupeska pointed out. Minister Lupul
then said that it would "defy any form of logic ever invented or to be
invented" for Dalmatia to antagonise Helvetia at this time, when the civil
war in Sanjak is threatening to spill over into Dalmatia. [FGV]
La Agença pora la Aubixara Naçonau news release, Saturday, May 5, 2001
MONTREI, MONTREI (AAN) - NEWLY APPOINTED TEJAS AMBASSADOR VISITS
MONTREI - The newly
appointed ambassador of the Republic of Tejas, Antonio Cuevas, visited the capital of Montrei
today in order to assure the Montreiano government and People that Tejas does not intend to
turn Montreianos more towards favour of Tejas and away from that of Alta California.
Ambassador Cuevas said: "We intend to respect Montrei's commitment to neutrality in the
conflict between that of Alta California and Tejas. My visit is simply a gesture of goodwill
between our countries."
Critics claim that the entire trip is indeed a move by the Tejan government to curry more
favour among the Montreiano people. Political analyst Jo n De La Fonts, a noted critic of the
government of Tejas said: "I believe that this first visit by Ambassador Cuevas is intended
to sway the views of the people into believing that Tejas is not about gaining more favour
among the people. This is a clandestine move on Tejas' part. Especially since they've had a
rash of fighting and land grabs in the disputed territory and also along their borders with
Alta California, and need all the support they can get."
However, public opinion shows that most Montreianos favour neutrality in the conflict.
Some
outspoken citzens believe that Montrei should support Alta California, while most believe that
it would be a poor move internally and internationally to support military operations intended
to help the Alta Californians with conflicts along their borders with Tejas. [BG]
La Agença pora la Aubixara Naçonau news release, Saturday, May 5, 2001
SAN MIGUEU Forest, MONTREI (ANN) - MISSING BODIES FOUND - The remains of
ten missing
persons, believed to have been abductees, were found today in a small deteriorating house deep
within the heart of the San Migueu Forest Thursday. It is believed to be the work of a
previously unknown serial killer.
Police have begun investigating the house and the area surrounding the house to find clues
as to who may be responsible. Police say that no one lives in the house, only that it was used
for disposal of the bodies. The residence was a former hunting lodge for local hunters, but
had long since been abandoned.
All ten bodies were in various stages of decomposition; the newest is believed to be
several weeks old, the oldest, several years. Authorities will begin the task of finding out
who the victims were Saturday, through dental records, or the newly introduced procedure of
DNA testing. [BG]
La Agença pora la Aubixara Naçonau news release, via BBC, Saturday, May 5, 2001
ARENA, MONTREI (AAN) - NATIONAL ARBORETUM RECIEVES GRANT - The
National Arboretum received
a grant of 10.000.000 aulóns, or nearly œ600.000, today from the "Organiza‡¢n Na‡onau pora la
Conservaçón de Arbous Nativas" (ONCAN, National Organization for the Conservation of
Native
Trees). ONCAN is devoted to preserving and cultivating the various native tree species that
grow around the nation.
The grant, according to the arboretum's director is intended to renovate the more neglected
native tree section of the Arboretum. Due to funding cuts three years ago, the native plant
section of the arboretum had been partially neglected, and had declined over the past few
years. With this grant, the arboretum can clean up and improve the native plant area of the
arboretum, and restore it to its original beauty (it was deemed "Most beautiful native plant
collection" by the Native Plant Society of Montrei ten years ago).
Also, the arboretum will be able to replace dead or diseased trees, plant new ones, weed,
cultivate, and replant the native plant beds, and restore paths and pergolas which had been
damaged due to weathering as well as storm damage from last year's El Ni¤o winter storms.
The arboretum hopes to rennovate and reopen the garden to the public by May of 2003.
[BG]
Ageintz de N”tzech de Jelb„tz via Llo Themp, Castreleon, Saturday, May 5, 2001 [Pfeter
Santz Johan, Political Correspondant]
WAREN, HELVETIA (ANJ) - BODIES OF THE ROYAL FAMILY FOUND - The bodies of
the Helvetian
Royal Family have been found in L„rgotz Forest, outside Waren. The bodies of Queen Beatritz,
Queen Mother Adela, Princess Z„vitz, Crown Prince Zachetz and the five-year old Prince
Frederich were found in a shallow common grave, having been shot in the back of their heads. A
note was found on the corpse of Crown Prince Zachetz reading "halvacianei esmeren slugayea
da
nos!". In light of this obvious Dalmatian taunt, the gracious and wise General Delfontz has
severed all diplomatic relations with Dalmatia.
The state funerals of the Royal Family will be held in the Santz Maria Cathedral in Waren
on Sunday. [DJ]
Ageintz de N”tzech de Jelb„tz via Llo Themp, Castreleon, Saturday, May 5, 2001 [Pfeter
Santz Lukas, Home Affairs Correspondant]
KASTELN™W, HELVETIA (ANJ) - CIVIL UNREST IN KASTELN™W - Earlier today the
Fourth Tank
Division was dispatched to Kasteln”w, an industrial centre on the border with Gaul, after
rioting broke out in the city's main square. Mayor Kolbentz and Lieutenant-Marshal Albrech
Marschalch were conducting the public handover of civic to military authority when the crowd
disrupted the ceremony. PDL activists are suspected of instigating the disruption. [DJ]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via London Times, Friday May 4, 2001
RAGUZA, DALMATIA (APD) - Cardinal Biszencu Franseskicz, the head of the Catholic
Church in
Dalmatia, has formally requested Cardinal Paul of Waren, the Helvetian prelate, to distance
himself from the intirim military government of Helvetia in the interests of the unity of the
Catholic Church. Cardinal Biszencu also called for the unity of all Dalmatians of all faiths
in these difficult times, a call echoed by Metropolitan Miroslav Kersticz, head of the
Orthodox Church in Dalmatia. [FGV]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via London Times, Friday May 4, 2001
RAGUZA, DALMATIA (APD) - Foreign Affairs Minister Radu Lupul sent a formal letter of
protest this week to Fikret Hadzibegovic, his counterpart in the Islamic Republic of Sanjak,
after units of the "Holy" Army of Sanjak entered Dalmatian territory for the third straight
day; and in each case, units of the Dalmatian Border Police engaged the Sanjak troops. Two
Dalmatian policemen were killed and three injured in the clashes, which also saw seven Sanjak
soldiers killed, according to a source in the Ministry of Defence. [FGV]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via BBC, Friday May 4, 2001
RAGUZA, DALMATIA (APD) - Defence Minister Serxhan Yonesku announced the
following policies
after a 22-1 vote in Parliament, which will take effect immediately:
- The Air Force has been placed at +15 alert. All regular Air Force personnel on leave are
to return at once to their bases;
- The Army has been placed at full alert. All regular Army personnel on leave are to return
to their cantonments;
- Full mobilisation of the Army's Category 1A reserves. All 1A reservists are to report to
their units within 12 hours of the issuance of this notice;
- Full mobilisation of the reserves of the Internal Security Forces. All Category 1A, 1B, 2
and 3 reservists are to report to their units within 24 hours;
- The Army's Category 1B reserves have been placed at 48-hour alert. All Category 1B
reservists are to prepare to report to their units within 48 hours if a full mobilisation is
called. [FGV]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via London Times, Friday May 4, 2001
BUDAPEST, HUNGARY (APD) - Prime Minister Aurial Ybl, along with Hungarian
President Istvan
Eszterhazy and Muntenian Chancellor Gheorghe Raducioiu have ratified a framework for the
establishment of a mutual defence treaty between the three countries. No specifics have been
released as of yet, but Prime Minister Ybl said that this is an "important step in bringing
stability to the Balkans". The three leaders have jointly sent invitations to Bulgarian
President Yordan Hristov, Croatian Premier Tomislav Stanicic and Slovak Prime Minister
Lubomir
Repa to attend the second round of talks. [FGV]
Il Journals article via Il Giornale, Milan, Friday, May 4, 2001
VATICAN CITY - The recent political crisis in Central Europe between the Kingdom of
Helvetia and the Republic of Dalmatia has been a cause for great concern in the Vatican. J.
Navarro-Valls, the Vatican's spokesman, has not yet issued any official statement, but sources
report that he has expressed concern over General August Delf”ntz's overtures to Cardinal Paul
of Waren, stating that the move is "highly irregular" and that the Vatican has not been
officially contacted in this matter.
The extraordinary consistory to be held later this month at the Vatican, to which all 183
members of the College of Cardinals will be summoned by the Roman Catholic Pope, John Paul
II,
will undoubtedly now include sessions on this crisis; as well as the planned agenda dealing
with such issues as the future role of the Papacy, relations with the Orthodox Church,
renewing the Church's understanding of the Mass and the continuing Le Febrist schism, which
the current Pontiff very much desires to heal. It is suspected that what Cardinal Paul of
Waren has to say will be of special interest. [PB]
Arvorec Broadcasting Corporation News Release, Friday, May 4, 2001 [Trevec'h ap Peder, Central Europe Correspondant]
WAREN, HELVETIA (ABC) - HELVETIAN GENERAL DEFIANT - The interim military
ruler of Helvetia,
General August Delf”ntz has issued a statement indicating defiance in the face of what
military spokesmen have called "thinly veiled Dalmatian threats". He utterly refutes any
suggestion that Helvetia is a "theocratic despotism", and has insisted that Prime Minister
Aurial Ybl retract his statement immediately. [DJ]
Ageintz de N”tzech de Jelb„tz News Release, Friday, May 4, 2001 [Pfeter Santz Lukas, Home Affairs Correspondant]
WAREN, HELVETIA (ANJ) - DELF™NTZ CALLS FOR CLOSER TIES BETWEEN
CHURCH AND STATE - General
Delf”ntz has today met with Cardinal Paul of Waren, in order to discuss closer cooperation
between the Catholic Church in Helvetia and the interim military government in wake of the
tragic assassination of His Royal Highness King Ger”ntz by Dalmatian terrorists.
Among things discussed were the repeal of tax exemption for all non-Catholic churches in
Helvetia and the passing of ordinances for the protection of public morals, such as the
closure of birth-control clinics. [DJ]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via BBC, Thursday, May 3, 2001
RAGUZA, DALMATIA (APD) - Prime Minister Aurial Ybl has expressed concern over the
motives
of the Helvetian authorities in trying to foment a crisis between Dalmatia and Helvetia,
especially at such a critical time as this, when, according to Ybl, "Islamic militance in
Sanjak is in a position to threaten Christian Europe". He also said that, initially, he did
not specifically mean that Helvetia is a "theocratic despotism" as Helvetian dictator General
August Delfontz accused; but after hearing about the General's calls for closer ties between
the Catholic Church and the Helvetian state, he said he can find "no alternative" but to make
his previous generic statement apply specifically to Helvetia. [FGV]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via London Times, Wednesday May 2, 2001
RAGUZA, DALMATIA (APD) - Prime Minister Aurial Ybl expressed his outrage at the
accusations
made by Helvetian authorities that a Dalmatian citizen was responsible for the assassination
of Helvetian King Geronts II and has demanded an immediate apology from the Helvetian
government. Ybl said that he believed this was "a disgusting attempt" at trying to destroy the
prestige of the Republic of Dalmatia in the eyes of peoples oppressed by monarchical and
theocratic rule. Prime Minister Ybl also said that he has requested a meeting with General
August Delfontz, who is head of the interim military government of Helvetia, as soon as
possible, in order to resolve this difficulty as expeditiously as possible and to return to
the previous calm and peaceful state of relations between the two countries.
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via London Times, Wednesday May 2, 2001
RAGUZA, DALMATIA (APD) - Dalmatian Border Police troops arrested three armed
Serbian
guerrillas just inside the Dalmatian border with Sanjak after a brief exchange of machine-gun
fire in which one Serb was killed and two were injured, according to Dalmatian Minister of
Internal Affairs Marczelu Szeymesz. None of the members of the Border Police patrol were
injured in the action, the first of its kind since open fighting broke out between government
troops of the Islamic Republic of Sanjak and ethnic Serb guerrillas. Dalmatia has made its
neutrality in this conflict quite clear and has also emphasised that any armed units entering
the territory of Dalmatia will be dealt with accordingly. Minister Szeymesz also announced
partial mobilisation of Category 1A reserve units of the Internal Security Forces, of which
the Border Police are a special branch. Defence Minister Serxhan Yonesku said that there is no
need to mobilise any regular forces, and that this partial mobilisation of the ISF will be
more than sufficient to ensure the integrity of the Dalmatian border with Sanjak.
Arvorec Broadcasting Corporation News Release, May Day, Tuesday May 1, 2001 [Trevec'h ap Peder, Central Europe Correspondant]
LANDREWAN, CEYSER (ABC) - HELVETIAN KING ASSASSINATED - At 1900 hours
GMT on Monday King
Ger”ntz II of Helvetia was assassinated while giving his traditional May Eve speech. His
Majesty did not even get past greeting the people assembled in the King R”tzer Square when a
shot was fired from the crowd. Although the gunman has not been caught, it is assumed that he
was a Dalmatian terrorrist. Diplomatic relations with the Republic of Dalmatia have been
terminated due to public outrage.
Because of the King's refusal to give Royal Sanction to the Helvetian parliament, the Army
has assumed temporary control of the country. General August Delf”ntz has assured world
leaders that this solution is strictly temporary, and power will be handed to a provisional
government as soon as is feasible.
The whereabouts of the rest of the Royal Family are unknown, it is known that they were
intending to spend the week skiing at Santz Trofetz to celebrate the birthday of Crown Prince
Z„chetz. The Airforce are in the process of looking for the deceased king's immediate family
with the utmost urgency. [DJ]
Arvorec Broadcasting Corporation News Release, May Day, Tuesday May 1, 2001 [Marya verc'h Aedyn, Home Correspondant]
LANDREWAN, CEYSER (ABC) - BABY BURNED TO DEATH - Monday's Belthaen fires
are supposed to
have been a signal for hope and rejoicing that spring has returned. For the unfortunate
apDubenn family of Landrewan, Ceyser, the joyous spring festival turned into disaster.
Unbeknownst to the family, their Belthaen bonfire seemed like a cosy wendy-house to toddler
Budhec. Assuming the babe was in her playroom, at sundown the family lit the bonfire. When
Mrs
apDubenn went to check on baby Budhec, she discovered that her cot was empty and alerted the
family. They searched the garden for the baby, not knowing that their festive bonfire was in
fact the babe's pyre.
The family are said to be inconsolable by neighbors - indeed, the tradgedy has deeply
affected the entire community. [DJ]
Arvorec Broadcasting Corporation News Release, May Day, Tuesday May 1, 2001 [Althen ap Marc'h, Religion Correspondant]
LANDREWAN, CEYSER (ABC) - HIGH PRIEST DENIES INCITING XENOPHOBIA -
The High Priest of the
Holy Cenethelyon Rite, the established Pagan church of the country, His Holiness Talc'han XII
has denied the truth of a statement which was leaked to the Cambrian tabloid Ill Sul.
The statement, allegedly a transcript of a conversation between His Holiness and an aide,
calls all Cambrians "thick barbarians who think that just because their ancestors used to
speak Latin they're better than us". His Holiness has denied the statement and reassured
British members of the Holy Cenethelyon Rite that they are valued members of the church.
The High Priest asserts that the transcript is a forgery which sets out to discredit him
and disprove the unity of the British peoples. Therefore he blames an unknown English party
for publishing this "scandalous rubbish".
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via BBC European Bureau, Tuesday 24 April, 2001
RAGUZA, DALMATIA (APD) - Prime Minister Aurial Ybl condemned the arrest of fifty
journalists by the gendarmerie of Nouvelle-France at the Monarchist Leage summit this week,
saying this was "clearly an act against the dissemination of the truth". He also voiced the
support and solidarity of the people of Dalmatia with the Laurentian Party. [FGV]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via BBC European Bureau, Tuesday 24 April, 2001
RAGUZA, DALMATIA (APD) - The first passenger train to cross the Dalmato-Croatian
border in
several years arrived in the Croatian capital of Osijek after a nine hour journey from Raguza.
On board were the ministers of transport of Dalmatia and Croatia, various railway officials
from the two countries as well as journalists. However, it is unclear at this time as to when
actual revenue-earning trains will start running. [FGV]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via BBC European Bureau, Tuesday 24 April, 2001
UZICE, ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF SANJAK (APD) - Open fighting has broken out in the
streets of
the northern Sanjak border town of Uzice between Sanjak government forces and members of
the
Serb minority in Sanjak after two weeks of near rioting in the city. These conditions came
about due to laws passed by the government of Sanjak which ethnic Serbs regard as oppressive.
The Interior Minister of Sanjak, Halid Abdic, accused the Kingdom of Serbia of supplying
arms to the Serb minority of Sanjak and of fomenting the riots "in the hopes of stealing our
territory". Serbian foreign minister Duke Vuk Mihajlovic denied the accusations, saying that
it was clearly a case of an oppressed minority demanding their basic human rights.
Serxhan Yonesku, Minister of Defence for the Republic of Dalmatia said that any armed
units, be they Sanjak government forces or Sanjak Serbs, that cross into Dalmatian territory
will be dealt with severely. The Dalmatian border with Sanjak has been officialy closed and
units of the Border Police have been placed on high alert, though no mobilisation of reserves
has been suggested. "We will keep close watch on the developments and ensure the integrity of
Dalmatia. No combatants will find safety in Dalmatian territory," Yonesku said. Foreign
Affairs Minister Radu Lupul emphasised Dalmatia's neutrality in this dispute. [FGV]
Omnipresse news release, Tuesday April 24, 2001
QUEBEC, NOUVELLE-FRANCE, 24 April (omnipresse) - Order has been restored in the
capital of
the Intendancy after three days of rioting. The Intendant of Nouvelle France, the Honorable
On‚sime Talon, commended the gendarmerie for its peacekeeping actions during the monarchist
summit; while at the same time expressed the need to investigate the arrests of about fifty
journalists to ensure that no improprieties were commited.
The "Sommet de la ligue Monarchique", the summit of the Monarchist League, brought
together
the heads of state from many countries still governed by a monarch. The motto of the summit,
"a more shining crown", is meant to represent the ongoing discussions on the role of the
monarchy in the new century and the need for a "more just" type of rule.
Many antimonarchist groups from all over the world came together for a peaceful
demonstration against what they see as a "reinforcement of an archaic form of government".
The rioting was sparked when the Laurentien Party, a New-France republican party, was
banned from the event hours before the summit was to start and after being told that its
representative could attend. [MP]
La Agença pora la Aubixara Naçonau News Release, Sunday April 14, 2001
MONTREI, MONTREI, Apr. 14 (ANN) - Easter celebrations in Montrei turned dangerous
as
fireworks used to celebrate the Easter holiday ignited wildfires in the hills above the
capital of Montrei as well as in other parts of the country.
An unusually dry winter combined with high winds and unseasonally warm temperatures
resulted in factors that were amenable to dangerous wild fires.
Firefighters have the blazes controlled near the Capital of Montrei, where the famous pine
forests were burning, but fires in more remote and rural areas of the country continue to
burn. So far only about 100 homes have been reported burned in the nation, while properties
were saved near the capital.
Temperatures reached 85 degrees Farenheit in the capital, while in the more inland areas
temperatures of 97 degrees Farenheit were recorded. Wind gusts to 25 miles per hour were also
recorded. It is not known when the fires in the more remote areas will be brought under
control.
Authorities reccomend that certain types of fireworks be banned next year and possibly
indefinitely. However, it is doubtful such a ban would be enacted. President Migueu Rouls
says he will let provincial governors decide whether or not to ban certain types of fireworks.
[BG]
Reuters Wire Release, North American Bureau, Mon. 9 Apr., 2001
GEORGETOWN, S.L.C., Apr. 9 (Reuters) - Damaging winds gusted across the Northwest
Territories and the northern parishes of Louisiana yesterday, damaging buildings and
overturning vehicles. Flood preparations were underway as river waters began rising; due to
the storm driven rain and melting snow.
Thus far, the death toll remains happily low, with one woman killed in Chicago when a tree
was torn from the ground and was blown into the trolley on which she was a passenger. City
Constabulary reports that several others were injured, but none seriously.
Wind gusts across the region reached 79 miles per hour on Saturday, overturning articulated
lorries which blocked several highways near Chicago. Rail traffic has been largely unaffected;
while aerodromes throughout the region are closed due to the high winds.
Local constabularies and Militiamen are helpping pile sandbags in communities along flood
prone rivers in the Territory. The Militia are also out providing security in evacuated areas,
though conditions have dampened looting activities.
Along the Red River, Bruce du Fourneau, Lord Mayor of Fargo engaged the city's flood
protection plans, saying that work would begin immediately on dikes which will keep the water
out of the downtown area. [PB]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via BBC European Bureau Mon. 2 Apr., 2001
NOVI PAZAR, ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF SANJAK, Apr 2 (APD) The Foreign Minister of the Islamic
Republic of Sanjak, Firket Hadzibegovic, has accused the Kingdom of Serbia of inciting the
Serbian minority in northern Sanjak to disobedience.
The accusation comes after three days of near-riots in several towns in northern Sanjak
where Serbs are in the majority, after the government announced that the Islamic law
prohibiting the consumption of alcohol will apply to all citizens of Sanjak, including
non-Muslims.
Prior to this, non-Muslims were granted the right to produce and consume alcohol, but this
right has not officially been taken away, despite the announcement that the anti-alcohol law
applies to non-Muslims as well.
Duke Vuk Mihajlovic, the Serbian foreign minister, said that the allegations are untrue. He
went on to say that any citizen of any country would be displeased by such oxymoronic laws.
[FGV]
Axhencia da Presa da Dalmatia News Release, via BBC European Bureau, Monday 2 Apr., 2001
RAGUZA, DALMATIA April 2 (APD) Biafiaruri da Dalmatia (BD), the state-run railway
company
of Dalmatia have announced in Raguza today, simultaneously with Hrvatske Drzavne Zeljeznice
(HDZ), BD's Croatian counterpart, that agreements have been finalised regarding the running of
passenger and goods trains between Dalmatia and Croatia.
The Ministry of Foreign Affairs and International Trade of Dalmatia have announced that in
relation to this agreement, the borders will be opened for goods traffic, but that no
agreement has yet been reached regarding passenger traffic.
Road borders between the two countries remain closed.
This agreement is a sign that relations between the two countries are thawing after six
years of war. [FGV]
