News From Ill Bethisad: First Half 2003

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News stories run from most recent to oldest.

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LA VOZ DE LA NACION, La Habana, 31-05-03

With the fall of the judge's gavel on Thursday last, the fate of four condemned Scandinavian special operations soldiers were sealed. Though the four proved to be well trained and conducted themselves with honour during their inquisition and trial; they were nevertheless captured while conducting covert operations on behalf of a beligerent enemy of the Nation. The four are called Lars Magnusson, Ole Jensen, Lars Thorsteinsson and Jon Stefanssen; and a message from the President was read prior to the commencement of the executions.

In the short message, the President expressed his condolences to the families, and his wish for reconciliation between Florida and the Scandinavian Realm. Nevertheless, these people were found to be acting on the behest of a violent government, and their actions were found to warrant the death penalty.

The four Scandinavians were executed by hanging this afternoon at 3pm in la Plaza de Justicia in la Habana.

*

Floridian forces received an unexpected blow this week as they were on the verge of toppling the last defenses of Port au Prince (Hayti). Late Monday afternoon, a small fleet of black airships sailed in from the south and dropped its cargo of paratroopers; some ships left small armoured vehicles in a rapid offloading manoeuvre called "stop, drop and fly" by the American Royal Navy. In this manoeuvre, small fast airships can land, offload their cargoes and be off again within two minutes. These actions so surprised our forces that they were compelled to withdraw to the suburbs Monday; and by Wednesday had retreated to defensive positions outside the city. For the time being, military officials are standing at the ready, but appear to have made no moves at reentering the beleaguered city.

While the airships were painted black and were unmarked, the actions smack of British hit and run tactics. Sources close to the general staff in command of the police actions in Hayti indicate that the airships were in fact Scandinavian models.

*

Rumours have blossomed that President Jorge Bush of Tejas is now living in exile in la Habana. Since his enforced retreat from Santa Fé in Tejas, due to the surprise invasion of Scandinavian backed Mejican forces, his whereabouts have been unknown. Floridian officials have offered no comment one way or the other; but have hinted that an official statement will be released in the next week.


Houston, Republic de Tejas, Monday, May 26, 2003 (6 Prairial, CCXI)

An Air Lousianne airliner en route from Mejico City to Nouvelle Orleans was forced to make an emergency landing at Houston/Bush International Aerodrome after several gas bags ruptured following an attack by unidentified assailants.

Air Louisianne PR Representative Miguel de Saint-Saens spoke in a press conference from Nouvelle Orléans three hours after the unscheduled landing.

"The airship appears to have sustained damage to the aft gas bags, presumably following a strike of a surface-to-air puncture weapon. Due to the sufficient altitude of the Airship, and the relatively limited damage, the ship was able to land at Houston/Bush International.

"Repairs are expected to be completed on the wounded ship within the week, but the passengers have already been boarded onto another Air Lousianne ship and are again en route to Louisannan airspace.

"Initial reports suggest that the attacking force was located somewhere in the Gulf, but who the actual attackers were, who their backers are, and many other related questions remain unanswered at this time." [DH]


IBAP: Strasbourgh, Jervaine 20 May, 2003 (30 Floreal, CCXI)

In a happy announcement to the public yesterday afternoon, the Right Honorable Christophe Albert Ignatius Martel, Lousiannan Ambassador to Jervaine, announced the marriage of his son, Anson Louis Grosjean Martel to the daughter of a local noble, le Comte Michel Arthur Heinrich St. Julien.

The ceremony is scheduled for Friday, 23 May, 2003; to be performed by the Roman Rite Archbishop of Strasbourgh, his eminence Joseph Doré. Festivities are planned at the Louisiannan Embassy for the weekend, ending Monday.

Analysts speculate that this marriage will have little effect on the already pleasant diplomatic relations between Lousianne and Jervaine. [DH]


Eu Aulon News Brief -- 19.MAY.2003

Yesterday's attack on Las Vegas sent Alta California Troops scrambling to take back the city after Tejano troops surprised it, reports from the front lines indicate Tejano troops are being overwhelmed by Alta California special forces units. Most reports indicate the troops had "given up easily", and the city is almost entirely taken back by Alta California.

Seeing the Tejano "Colorado Army" gearing up for a possible attack, soldiers were sent to help fortify the border along the Colorado, especially after Tejano forces surprised Alta California by invading Baja California via its relatively unguarded eastern shores.

While some Tejano forces were able to penetrate Baja, Mejicano forces have responded to Tejano soldiers crossing their territory as an agressive action. Reports from Mejico indicate that they are sending troops to their relatively unguarded and sparsely populated north western tip of the state of Sonora in order to stop the stream of Tejano soldiers launching ships from their shores.

Montrei has seen this incursion of Tejano troops into Alta California also as an agressive move on Tejas' part and has agreed to give not only supplies to Alta California, but Naval and Army assistance as well.

Front line reports indicate that Alta California, Mexico, and Montrei have decided to move to take the cities of Mexicali, El Cajón, and Tijuana. The military defenses in San Diego are being fortified and secrity is on high alert At Coronado Naval Base.[BG]


L' ESTRELLE, -- 19 May, 2003 -- CAN WAR BE PROSECUTED ANY MORE POORLY? - War correspondent Jean Marc y Vontes has filed a new report on the "war" in Deseret.

Sâ Martî, Neuvelle Cornouaille (LA) -- Having travelled the length and breadth of Deseret with the Freedom Fighters, the so called "Rebels", it is clear to this reporter that the Tejan military machine has long been broken. There are no recognisable lines, no supply trains, few weapons and little to no military discipline in the ranks. Contrary to Tejan press reports which laud the glories of patriotic Tehan soldiers, the truth of the matter seems to be, in the words of one Deseret soldier, "We're kickin their effin asses out of our land!" The Tejanos have been in full retreat the past fortnight, offering only sporadic action against Deserets positions.

The most intense action has been around the town of Moab, an old Mormon settlement, which was gassed by Tejan forces on the night of the second of April. The agent seems to be First Great War surplus German mustard gas, which has proven as effective in 2003 as it was in 1914, nearly a century ago.

The war seems to be going a little better for Tejas in the south, along the Zone, which is the great demilitarised zone along the Colorado River. On the seventeenth, the Tejan air fleet successfully bombed Las Vegas in California and dropped paratroopers into the city, and at this time they seem to have been able to maintain control of the central portions of the city, though Californian troops are surrounding the Tejan positions.

The much better armed Colorado Army seems poised to launch an attack across the river very shortly. We have received sure intelligence, from anonymous sources close to Information Minister Paniagua, that the propaganda machine of Tejas has been releasing contradictory and conflicting statements for months regarding the strength and positions of Tehan units, all of which is devised to confuse California.

Paniagua has been fond of touting the "crack troops who are even now overwhelming the Deseret rebels"; when these soldiers are usually poor inner city youth who are given vintage weapons better suited to a museum, a few bullets and no training. They are expected to face the Freedom Fighters. It seems they have been misused as a ruse to make it look like the Tejan armed forces are in a shambles.

It seems that Tejas does in fact have some highly trained forces, but they are not stationed in the north. This morning, the nineteenth of April while California was busy fighting near Las Vegas, the Tejan War Department announced that Tijuana had fallen to a surprise attack through the undefended east coast of Baja by Tejan forces, and that Baja and Alta California are now bisected by a corridor of Tejan military. Baja is a sparsely populated territroy that is sure to fall completely within the week. What the next Tejano move and the Californian response will be is not known, but it is apparent that San Diego will be embattled very soon, as California has implemented a strong defense of the city, and Tehan forces have moved into agressive positions in Mexicali and El Cajón.[PB]


LA VOZ DEL REINO, Santa Fé, 18 May, 2003.

VICTORY IS AT HAND! - Rumours abound these past two months regarding the wars in rebel infested Deseret, the northernmost province of Tejas. As usual, the foreign press is pouring forth gallons of ink and wasting breath in false claims about our grand Armys valorous actions in defeating the rebels in these lands falsely claimed by California. LA VOZ has been assured by the Information Minister, Roberto Paniagua, that far from retreat, "our Army is ever advancing to the north and west, crushing the rebel forces. Our casualties are minimal." Furthermore: "our Armys successes are due to superior tactics, weapons and the bravery and patriotism etched in the face of every soldier from the lowest to the highest. We shall soon overwhelm them and destroy their ability to fight."

In a press conference earlier this week, Paniagua spoke specifically about recent comments comming out of the Californian press. "Californios are all liars - this is a known fact. Our forces are not in retreat as they say. Tejas never retreats! Our grand Army is in full advance, rolling over any Deseret rebel that stands in the way."

Regarding the rumours of desertions from the Army, Paniagua categorically denied any veracity in these falshoods. "How can a patriotic soldier abandon his post? Once again, this is an example of how the Californian press uses spin and propaganda to prop up its luidicrous position. There are no Tejan deserters in Montrei. There has never been a problem with desertion in the Armed Forces of Tejas. What is true is that more and more patriotic young men are signing on. They see their countrys need and are willing to help out."

When asked to speculate on the identities of the men supposed to be deserters, paraded on Californian television last week, Paniagua said: "Clearly these are actors. We have sure information that the Californian film industry has been pressed into service providing actors to play the part of 'deserters'. This is typical of the spineless tactics used by California. The only other possibility is that these are prisoners of war, illegally held by California in Montrei to make it look like the men deserted. Most likely, they are forced to say they deserted, or else they are murdered. California is well known for having the most barbaric Military Code in this hemisphere. Either way, California is a weak and spineless foe. They too shall be beaten back!"

The last comment was met with an uproar from the gathered press; but no further comments were offered by Paniagua. LA VOZ can only assume that once the so called freedom fighters of Deseret are at last dealt with, our spirited Army will be advancing victoriously through California.[PB]


SPECIAL REPORT: Anson Dubois (IBAP): 13 May 2003 (23 Floréal CCXI); Reported originally in "The Morning and Evening Star" Abondance, Nouvelle Cournouaille.

After spending four months among the Deseret Freedom Fighters, I'd like to dissipate the cloud of misunderstanding that has existed about the DFF and other groups in the Disputed Territories.

In the recent past, beginning with the destruction of the CNEL rocket and later the bombing of the LDS Church headquarters complex in Zaräémlà, some confusion has been raised as to the nature of the Deseret Freedom Fighters.

I was able to have an interview with Joseph Hyrum Taylor, leader of the DFF. Mr. Taylor, who prefers not to be called by any title other than 'mister' and prefers better that he be called Joseph, was able to answer many questions that I had about the nature of events in the Disputed Territories.

When asked about the 'terror' campaign that was to be waged against the surrounding countries, he turned very somber, saying that "Adele Matthieu Milozhevic was my second in command. It was he that suggested that we could make our plight known through these acts and thus garner support. I thought he was crazy, but many of the lower commanders agreed with him, and I supported him.

"However, as time went on, his plans became more grandiose and I knew that he would start to target civilians. I would not support this. It was after the destruction of the CNEL rocket that Milozhevic unveiled his plans to attack civilian targets. I had him arrested and put into a holding cell in one fo our mountain strongholds.

"It was much to my chagrin to find that he and many of the lower commanders of the DFF were in cahoots and that Milozhevic had been freed only a matter of hours after his incarceration. It is he that heads the newly declared 'Deseret Zionist' Movement."

When asked about a continued terror campaign, Taylor said, "I will not continue a terror campaign. There is no need. The world is aware of the situations here in the Disputed Territories now, and there is no need for wanton violence."

I asked him about the letter he'd sent to the government of Nouvelle Cournouaille in which he declared no connection to the Zionists. "When I said we had no connection, I meant that there was no connection in our goals. They may have dissented from the ranks of the DFF, but they are not part of us, and we disavow their actions. We actively hunt them down in the mountains."

When I asked him regarding the statment on terrorist acts, he blithely responded, "We have committed terrorist actions, but we are no longer aiming our efforts that way. We hope to take advantage of the mounting hosilities between Alta California and Tejas to secure the southern border of Deseret against future Tejan agresssion."

In speaking of the future of Deseret, Taylor noted, "I hope that when hostilities are brought to a satisfacotry end there can be a peace negotiated between Deseret and Alta California. My wife, Madeleine and I have been speaking at length with the rest of the Council here in Deseret.

"We realize that it is folly to hope for complete independence from Alta California. What we would hope is to be able to negotiate a peace with them, achieving a sort of Condominium state, much like Jervaine in Europe, where we are autonomous, yet still pay them the provincial taxes that would be levied on any of their population.

As the subject of Military Aims of the DFF came up, Taylor looked me flatly in the eyes and declared, "No comment."

Only time will tell what will be the outcome of the state of affairs in the Disputed Territories. [DH]


Ciuá de Montrei, Montrei (May 12, 2003): CRUISE SHIPS POSSIBLE HAZARD?

The Local Environmental group, Gent En Açón (People in Action, GEA) have begun a nation wide protest against the Capital's tourist board to invite cruise ships into the protected Bay of Montrei. The group claims that cruise lines allow their crews to dump ballast as well as sewage from their ships into the bay, introducing possible health hazards into Montrei's pristine waters.

Says one activist: "These cruise ships are a hazard to not only our health but to our fishing industry. They introduce foreign pests and dump waste into the different ports they visit. The bay already has an infestation of Bay Mussels, the last thing we need is more non-native competitors who will replace species native here, even the otters are getting sick with toxoplasma, acanthocephalan worms and protozoal encephalitis, probably from the sewage already dumped into the bay. We don't need any more diseases and pollution in our waters, enough is enough!"

Because the Government of Montrei lets individual condaos decide regulations on ships entering port in their waters, it is up to the Condao de Montrei to decide if cruise ships will be allowed to dock at the National Harbor and what they can and cannot do in regards t their ballast and sweage dumping procedures.

Popular opinion polls show that opinion is nearly split down the middle with 52% of the vote indicating the cruise ships are a good thing for tourism, while the other half sees it as a minor bonus and a threat to the massive fishing industry of Montrei.

A vote on the cruise ship issue is scheduled to take place within the next few weeks. [BG]


NEWS IN BRIEF, Georgetown, Maryland: May 12, 2003.

TWO WARS DOWN, ONE TO GO? That's what everyone in Philadelphia is asking today, now that two of the world's three hotspots have cooled down somewhat. As of last week, the war in Hunan is over, leaving Canton, their Commonwealth allies and other foreign friends victorious.

The news from Tejas is now official: Tejas is no more. As of today, Mejican forces and their Californian allies have mopped up the last of the serious resistance to the invasion. The Deseret Freedom Fighters, while not recognised as official allies in the war, have mopped up the Grand Army in the north and continue to hold a good slice of north Tejas, including the disputed territories. Maria Isabella, heir to the Tejan crown, is expected to return to her capital at Santa Fé by midsummer.

Florida has been _very_ quiet of late. They withdrew their military forces from the now closed borders with the NAL and have ceased all war games along the line. American intelligence is on full alert, though are unsure what the sign portends. It has been reported that Jorge Bush, late the strongman of Tejas, has gone to ground in Cuba; but no comment has been forthcomming from either Floridian officialdom or American intelligence. Rumour has it that Port au Prince (Hayti) has fallen to the Floridian armed forces, but fighting is still fierce in outlying districts. It is also rumoured that a novel Caribbean Plan is being hotly debated in the Floridian parliament. No details are available, however.

The NAL has maintained its neutrality in the Texan wars in the finest of American tradition. In the aftermath, however, American tradition really shines: it is expected that Maria Isabella will not be expected to pack her crown in a sack and take a coach train out of Penn Station this summer. Rather, she will be travelling with the General Moderator in the Spirit of America (the GM's official train) which will pick up Lousiannas first president Young and Mexican president Lobos at Nouvelle Orleans and then continue on to Santa Fé for the coronation. It is also expected that a large portion of her future majestys baggage will be sacks of crisp new Texan "libras", which is pounds in Spanish - a gift from the American peoples given in order to help Texas rebuild itself into a useful member of the North American community of countries.[PB]


IBAP, Paris-sur-Mizouri, 12 May, 2003 (22 Floreal, CCXI)

This past week has been one of tumultuous weather, BNM, le Bureau Nationale Meteorologique, said. Over 300 cyclones have been confirmed across central Louisianne, concentrated mostly in Southern Nouvelle Cournouaille, Osage, and St. Louis, though some have been confirmed in Nouvelle Navarre, Northern St. Onge and across our border along the Mississippi.

Loss of life has been largely minimized due to the recently improved and nationalised advance warning system. Death tolls however are still in the hundreds, and many thousands are picking up the peices of their lives after tornados smashed through their homes and communities. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is happily joined by area Catholic parishes, Jewish congregations and various Native organisations to provide shelter and food to displaced families of Louisianne.

BNM hopes to be among the first to launch a satellite through CNEL's efforts, to thus enable a better prediction of weather than is currently offered.

Also, Zaräémlà reported snows of nearly a 8 inches (20 centimetres), though that is largely melted as of today. Respite from the tornados is predicted as a High Pressure has moved in over central Louisianne.

President Young also announced today that he would be attending the coronation cermonies in Santa Fe in midsummer of the soon to return Queen of Tejas. Louisianne has pledged continuation of the current trade agreements that exist between Tejas and our nation, as well as future renegotiations.

CNEL announced on the 9th of May (19 Floreal) that a team of Kemrese doctors have officially joined our efforts in the space race, to help understand the effects of space upon a living being. [DH]


Paris-sur-Mizouri, Osage: 12 May, 2003 (22 Floréal, CCXI)

First President Jean-Francois Young and the Council expressed outrage at the actions of Floridian troops in Port-au-Prince, Hayti, who sank the Lousiannan airship "La Constance". "Our vessel was on a diplomatic and humanitarian mission, seeking to support the people of Hayti with grain necessary for survival!" Young went on to express the Council's condolences to the families of the ship's crew.

Preliminary reports recieved indicate that La Constance was shelled with mortar fire and cannon by Floridian troops, despite the brightly painted red cross on its white hull.

Later in his speech, Young declared "We feel that Jaime Bush is no less a monster than his brother, Jorge. We as a state feel that action must be taken at once to unseat this terrible monster from his stranglehold of the peoples of the Carribean." In a comment directed at Jaime Bush, "Louisianne will not tolerate such acts against our ships and persons. We accept that this may have been an inadvertent act of war, but know this, we will not tolerate another such event." [DH]


THE STAR, Georgetown, Maryland -- May 11, 2003.

With the apparent end to hostilities in the Texan wars, it is reported that Mexico will invite the exiled heir to the throne of Texas, Maria Isabella, to return home once the conquered territories are set straight. She has stated her desire to return as soon as possible, in order to help set right what has been done in Texas over the last few decades. She has joined her voice to that of Mexican presdient Lobos in calling for the extradiction and prosecution of Jorge Bush and his immediate ministers. Floridian strongman, Jaime Bush would do well to hand over his brother, if in fact he escaped to Florida-Caribbea, but the Floridian press and military are uncommonly quiet these last weeks.

The future queen of Texas is sure to ruffle some feathers in her ranching and oil rich country, for she has indicated that she would offer the northern marches of Texan territory to the Mormons of Deseret for their aid in ousting the Grand Army of Texas after the malicious gassing of Moab last month. Surprised Californian government officials have not commented on this as of yet, for they still have a claim on that same parcel of land.

For the now, Mexico has assumed the administration of all Texan affairs of state; leaving their Californian allies in possession of only the Colorado Military Zone - the six mile wide nomans land that is composed of rotting military camps, decoy artilliary and gutted tanks. It seems that had California been goaded into action sooner rather than later, they would have had an easy time of full scale invasion. Some in California are already complaining that their intelligence agencies should have known how ineffectual the Grand Army of Texas really was and that they should have snapped up the territory before Mexico could get hold of it.[PB]


Agencia Mejicana de Noticias Mundiales, 11.05.2003 -- Tejano Death blow dealt by own hand! Cruel acts exposed!

CIUDAD MEJICO -- Treading carefully to avoid the mines and booby traps set out in the southern and western suburbs of Santa Fé, special operations forces from Mejico and California cleared a path for military investigators to enter the conquered city and take posession of the Palace and other government buildings.

Official sources report this morning that those entering the city were greeted by empty streets and no traffic. Officers were made suspicious by finding an inordinate number of dead animals in the streets; but upon approaching the citys stadium, the truth was soon exposed. Tens of thousands of residents of Santa Fé were found sprawled in the stands and on the field of the stadium, apparently gassed to death. Upon entering houses in the central neighbourhoods, more such bodies were discovered.

By noon, timid survivors, mostly hiding in the outlying districts, met the overwhelmed Californios with shouts of relief and terrifying stories of the last few days. It is estimated that between one third and one half of the population were the last victims of the Bush regimes rule in Tejas. The Mejican president, Vicente Lobos, has declared that Bush will be "ferretted out and brought to justice".[PB]


Agencia Mejicana de Noticias Mundiales, 10.05.2003

CIUDAD MEJICO - Santa Fé falls to western allied forces this morning! City is deserted, early reports indicate foul play!

Mejican forces crossed the border of the Military Province on May 5 amid much pomp and expectations of victory over the crumbling state that was once ruled by the notorious Jorge Bush. At the same moment, Californian foces moved east from their positions along the lower Colorado.

Fighting in the west was stiff, as the best armed Tejan units are stationed along the Colorado and the Californian government reports heavy casualties. In the east, Mejico was faced with wide territories and sporadic hot spots which were quelled with little trouble.

Mejican forces arrived at Santa Fé, the Tejan capital, in the evening of May 7 and were violently repelled by reserve forces surrounding the city. Californian troops arrived on the ninth and joined the struggle. Fierce fighting contiunued until that evening, when several explosions were heard from the direction of the city. After that signal, Tejan troops withdrew from the field and disappeared into the countryside north of the city. Allied casualties were "within acceptable limits"; but it is curious to note that most of those in hospital complained of respiratory symptoms and not typical battle field injuries.[PB]


Ill SUL, CASTRELEON, 01.05.03: REVELATIONS OF HORROR AND APOCALYPSE IN CHINA!!

Hong Kong -- The recent news blackout in China the past two weeks has suddenly disapated and the news is bleak indeed. It is reported by haggard reporters and agents in China that Canton has used some sort of atomic weapon or weapons against their Hunanese adversaries. Occidental military authorities refuse to make official comment on the situation, but independent operators have largely confirmed the detonation of at least three such terrible weapons. If this be true, then China will be the first country to use an atomic weapon since the Empire detonated two such devices over the Republic during the second Great War.

Other agents have reported that following the atomic attacks, hitherto unknown weapons devised by some Dalmatian devilry were unleashed on a terrorised and demoralised Hunan. Reports are conflicting, but some military contacts are admitting that Dalmatia has long been sitting on subsonic and infrared weapons; and speculation is that these may have been used in the recent war in China.

A few BBC agents near the front lines have survived the attacks and report that the dead and dying litter the front for miles around, burnt, bloated and mutilated by atomic and energy weapons. One agent, having witnessed countless Hunanese soldiers turning their weapons upon themselves, commented on the blasted scene thus: "This is Hell on Earth."

Foreign legionaires, Ghurka shock troops and Mongolian light armoured divisions entered the Imperial City, and swiftly took control. It is rumoured that the former Citizen President of Canton, Chang Hsueh-liang, personally assassinated the Emperor. If Chang had aught to do with the attack on the Palace and the assassination, it is almost certainly a fait acomplis.

*

The news from Chinese East Africa is little better. Continued fighting amongst the Zulus and Chinese authorities erupted this past week into an all out civil war. Attacks made against South Africa were repelled by the RAF and crack groud troops from around the Commonwealth. It is reported that subsonic and other energy weapons were used by Cantonese forces in Africa as well.

Dr. Marc Leveque of the Royal Navy's hospital ship St. Blase described the actions of these weapons. "A subsonic weapon sets up vibrations within the viscera at a very low frequency. Bodily functions are disrupted and victims are rendered helpless. Based on Kemrese medical advances in sonic energy surgical devices, the Dalmatians have developped a range of weapons using the same basic technology. Their ultrasonic weapon also sets up vibrations in the body; but these vibrations are extremely rapid and cause burns and ruptures within the body."

The situation in Chinese East Africa is grim, with acts of the most savage cruelty commited upon innocent people. Most of the acts seem to have been commited by mercenaries in the employ of Canton, though that government has declined comment. The Dalmatians themselves have also denied the use and even the existence of these weapons. Reliable sources have confirmed that several such weapons were found missing from Dalmatia during the Balkan Wars. It is apparent that they were sold to the previous Cantonese regime and put to use by the current regime.

It is unclear what the status of Hunanese and East African territories will be. Given that Hunan was the aggressor and that Canton has declared them defeated lands, subject to occupation or annexation, it seems that Hunan will simply cease to exist and that East African administration will fall to Canton. [CYSHZ]

*

The King of Fujian, Taiwan, and Hainan has condemned the Cantonese actions in Hunan as 'unneccesary and barbaric'. It has been demanded that Hunan governance be handed over to a joint Chinese League administration. He has also called for Economic sanctions to be placed on Canton. The Chinese League is similar in scope to the European Federation, and consists of Beihanguo, Nanhanguo, Nanchang, Canton, Meizhou, Shanghai, and Futainan (Fujian, Taiwan and Hainan). [JW]


Montrei, the weekly journal Streuia Nort; Editorial, April 30, 2003 -- Tejas, funnier than a three legged goat, by Paulo Arenas.

While the Tejano news agency continues to issue bold face lies about Montrei and the position of the Montreiano government and people, the defense Minister has issued a statement proclaiming:

"Montrei has never and will never take the side of Tejas, who has violated Alta California's sovereign rights as a nation and invaded its territory. We, and our allies in the recent battles against Tejas in Alta California declare Tejas an immediate threat to the sovereignty of the nations of Montrei, Alta California, and Mejico. We will not, nor will we ever bargain to parcel Alta California as the tejano propaganda machine is declaring."

One begins to wonder how anyone believes anything the Tejano news agencies are delcaring when reports from Mejico are also confirming that the battle against Tejas is over, and Tejas has lost. Analysts believe that this is a last ditch attempt by the powers that be to keep the morale and public support for the tyrannical Tejano government firmly in check.

It's no surprise that Tejas is continuing their propaganda Barrage. The big story several years ago put out by them was that Montrei intended to give up its sovereignty to become a part of the "Great Tejano Nation". When that failed to come to pass they declared it a "lack of support by the Montreiano people", when in fact this "vote" never came up in the Montreiano senate, let alone even reaching the desk of even one senator.

Anyone who visits the Tejano border with Alta California (which any Alta California traveler must pass when using the trains to visit Mejico through Sonora), can clearly see how poorly defended both sides of the border are. This is not propaganda, which I'm sure the Tejano news agencies will declare. This is fact, neither side put much effort into fortifying their sides until recently, and construction of the wall along AC's side of the border has begun.

Most Tejanos are not near the border lands, being highly disputed and off limits, not to mention the fact that the Tejano government keeps its citizens in the dark about what goes on along their disputed borders to keep support up. So it's quite clear how Tejanos are swayed by the "reports" that its papers declare.

This much is true, it is no lie folks, Tejas has suffered a clear defeat and have been kicked out of Alta California. Mejicano papers will and have confirmed the same facts, Tejas has fallen in AC's lands.

I'm not saying Alta California is innocent in all of this, they do their fair share of instigating skirmishes, especially in that disputed area of theirs called Deseret by guerillas, but the fact remains Tejas is the agressor this side of the continent. I have to wonder, who's next? Oregon? Louisianne? Even Mejico?

We here at Streuia Nort will simply wait for the next hilarious headline out of Tejas. What will those crazy Tejano "news" agencies report next? The Chupacabra is killing three goats in El Paso?[BG]


Eu Aulon News Brief; Tijuana, Alta California; 30 April, 2003.

In a bold military move by Mejican, Alta Californian, and Montreiano troops, the Tejano forces who had crossed Mejico's sonoran state to invade the southern AC State of Baja California have finally been defeated. Despite a move made by Tejas to divert AC's attention away from its relatively unguarded southern state by an invasion of Las Vegas, the tide has turned and Tejas has been defeated thirty miles from the fortified naval city of San Diego.

Fighting in this part of AC was fierce due to the use of special forces by Tejas, but they were few in number, especially after Mejico had begun fortifying the northwestern tip of Sonora State after their initial invasion.

A resident of the formerly occupied town of Mexicali said "they put up quite a fight, and many had been killed, but thank fully our city has been liberated.

Those tejanos not been killed in the fighting are being kept as prisoners of war in special camps near the dry lake bed of La Playa del Sal. They are scheduled to be deported back to Tejas.

Due to this invasion Alta California intends to spend more money on fortifying and protecting their vulnerable southern shore, and a plan is in works to erect a wall stretching the length of the Colorado river.[BG]


Agencia Mejicana de Noticias Mundiales, 30.04.03

CIUDAD MEJICO - The Mejican government announced this morning that, acting in concert with its Californian allies, it has crossed the Rio Grande into Tejan territory. The spearhead of the invasion centered on the eastern half of Tejas, which fell "like a child's hut in an earthquake," according to one military official. The newly created military province stretches in a line from Presidio to San Antonio and up to San Ignacio at one of Tejas and Lousianna's major border crossings. Mejican forces control Tejas from this line to the coast, as well as the state of El Paso, a little to the west of the military province. It remains only to see whether Tejas will sue for peace or if California will press this new advantage first, keeping in mind that western and northern Tejas are very well armed and defended.

The infamous Roberto Gonzales of Radio El Paso blew his usual steam this afternoon, saying "...there are _no_ Mejican troops invading the city! How can that be!? Mejico is a weak nonplayer in this great war against California, which we are closer to winning every day." Shortly thereafter, Mejican troops seized the Palacio Real and the power and water stations, sending El Paso into an afternoon blackout.

Our agents in Santa Fe, the Tejan capital, report that local newspapers and radio shows are all reporting that business in Tejas is as usual. While the Tejan press has been silent on the matter, it was noted that a small fleet of airships were seen rising from the Palacio de la Santa Fé and headed to the southeast at speed. Their destination is unknown, but it has been speculated that Jorge Bush, his family and his inner circle of advisors have fled the capital and are at this time flying towards La Habana in Cuba; military officials refuse to comment on this fleet of airships, its desitnation and its fate, if it has been captured or destroyed.

Curiously, the Floridian press have been uncharacteristically quiet the last few days. Last week, when Tejas was indeed making progress in California, Floridian newspapers were squawking with glee over the seeming end to California. Since Monday, they have concentrated solely on domestic issues.

As a side note, our agents in Nouvelle Orleans report a number of suspicious activities late at night in and around the venerable city. Also, Louisianans in that region have expressed alarm at the large scale militarisation of the border with Florida, and the increasing numbers of "black strangers" passing through the bayous at night. The local press have passed them off as nocturnal hunters or Louisianan military personnel playing wargames near the border; but the locals remain skeptical, as these strangers have been moving to the northwest, rather than from the northwest.

Speaking from exile in Philadelphia (NAL), the heir to the crown of Tejas, Doña María Isabella, has once again expressed her dismay at the actions of the Bush regime, her sympathies for those in Mejico and California that have suffered at her countrimen's hands and her desire to heal the great injury done to Tejas during the last fifty three years of tyranny. When asked if she would petition Mejico to return to her country, she skillfully avoided the issue by saying that the Mejican government and military had fairly captured Tejas; and that she has long been contact with high officialdom in the Mejican government, but no firm plans have been made.[PB]


El País, 29 Abril, 2003.

SANTA FE - Viva la Nación! Recent propaganda from the yellow press of California and the lapdog Montreianos is pouring as freely as sour Sonoma Valley wine this week. El Aulon, touted as a reliable source, has been uncontrovertibly proven to be a source of nothing but lies.

It has been reported that the glorious Tejan army is being beaten back from its long awaited invasion of California. Nothing could be further from the truth, as unbiased reports from the front confirm. In fact, it is clear that Californias forces are weak and San Diego is soon to fall.

So bad is the Californian position that the whole country will soon fall; as military units freely operating in the eastern quarter of California have discovered that the apparent military equipment across the Colorado is nothing but decoys. No more than two in ten artillery stations are functional; lorries that are observed to offload supposed munitions and war materiel have been shown to be carrying sandbags and stones.

The Government has announced that negotiations are currently under way to divide Californian territory with Montrey, if they agree to aid Tejas. Montreiano territory is considered inviolate, as the campaign is solely directed against the warmongering Californians. While nothing has been made final, Montrey has indicated interest in the deal.

It is expected that the Californian War will be mopped up within the next two weeks.[PB]


CNEL, Paris-sur-Mizouri, Osage, Louisianne April 29, 2003 (9 Floreal, CCXI):

Scientists, curious to see the effects of space upon a body have announced another launch from 'le Cygne.' This launch, planned for early summer, will launch a life form into space, whjere sceintific instruments will monitor the reaction of a living organism to space. The capsule will orbit the Earth, with a landing planned for an as yet undisclosed body of water.

Already with news of a successful launch, CNEL is negotiating with telecommunications companies who are seeking more reliable and cost effective means of relaying communications to taheir customers than the trans-Atlantic cable or Aero-stat blimps.

CNEL has also contacted the Kemrese government in order to arrange the services of their medical research facilities. The Kemrese medical community has long expressed interest in the effects of high altitude flight, and have worked with Dalmatian researchers for some time now to determine the effects of speed and altitude on the body.[DleF]


OMNIPRESSE NORTH AMERICAN DESK 28 April, 2003. QUEBEC CITY (NF) Today the latest representatives to the Intendancy's consultative council were sworn in.

It is to be the monarchist leaning Partie Ducal (PDNF) who will form the new majority after 9 years of being the Loyal Opposition to the Partie Patriote Laurentien (PPL).

Although traditionaly the Intendant is expected not to involve himself in the campaign, the incumbent has repeatedly hinted at favoring the PDNF. Once the votes were counted, His Honour made a public speech welcoming a new era of understanding and productivity between himself and his council.

A moment of levity came during the traditional pledge to the king when a re-elected representative of the PPL asked if they should make the plege in Castilian, since the Bourbon line of monarchs now reigns in Castile-Aragon.

The Action-Démocratique party (ADNF) only managed to get three seats (out of 75) and thus is only allowed to make suggestions to the intendant through its leader and only after obtaining permission from the master of ceremonies. Although the ADNF was considered a potential threat to the two traditional parties a year ago, its fortunes plummeted after some of its policies became public. Particularly the proposal that older patients in hospital be left to die in order to free up ressources for younger patients.[MP]


LBC 'Newsday': from Embassy Row, Hong Kong (Eng.), Canton; 25 April, 2003 (5 Floreal CCXI).

Ambassador Beaulieu of the Louisiannan Embassy announced today a closure of the Embassy district for the duration of the flu epidemic. "All employees of the Embassies will lodge within the confines of the enclave for the duration of this plague."

The decision was taken as a preventative measure to decrease the risk of infection for diplomats in the area. The Ambassadors suggested that similar quarantines be placed in neighborhoods all through the city to aid the speedy ending of this plague.[DH]


IBAP: Growing Industries in the République de la Louisianne - April 23, 2003 (3 Floréal, CCXI)

Paris-sur-Mizouri, Osage: The National Space Committee's (CNEL) director, Jean-Louis Cattin announced today that protracted negotiations with an unspecified computer company in the Irish Union (An t-Aonstát Éireann) have reached a satisfactory end, and that shipment would be completed soon. This new computer will be used in managing the affairs of CNEL as the space industry of Louisianne continues to grow.

In other news, the Minister of Defense, Willem Koracz announced that discussions had been satisfactorily concluded with Colonel Mitar Karaxhicz, Attache of the Dalmatian Department of Agriculture. It is anticipated that a shipment of 50 Spretu jet fighters will arrive in Louisianne before the end of the year to replace the aging propeller craft currently used in the Air Fleets.[DleF]


BBC, Australasia Newsdesk, 13.04.03, Pete Arnette, staff writer. GIVE US A BLINKIN FLAG ALREADY!

A flap has evolved in Australasia over the details of the flag. Several camps have gathered supporters and are in the process of petitioning the Government for action on creating a new flag. "...and what we want to know, Mrs Prime Minister, is when are we going to see decisive, pointed, progressive, determined and resolute action on this dire and pressing issue? In light of the lazy, lukewarm response to our country's demands on the part of Parliament, we of Give Australasia a bLinkin Flag [GALF] wish to express our disappointment with the current tepid, halfhearted wishywashiness of Government." So spoke Gavin óShaughnessy of GALF, one of the camps in favour of an entirely newly designed flag. While controversy is rampant, it seems that Government will settle on a minor redesgin of the current flag.[MP/PB]


IBAP -- 10 April, 2003 (20 Germinal, CCXI):

HONG KONG -- L'Embassade de la Louisianne today apprehended a 'sleeper' unit which had been disrupting the communications of the Embassy, as well as disrupting power and water supplies. Special Forces of the Louisiannan Army stationed at the Embassy in this time of war were able to apprehend this man. Interrogation is in progress, and hopefully will divulge other 'sleepers' to begin to clean the Sino-Enlgish city of traitors.

In a related story, the Ambassador of Louisianne offered the use of military units to relieve the strain of policing the local area of the Embassy, so that Hong Kong PD can concentrate elsewhere in the city. A response from the government was not yet received at the time of this printing.[DH]


ILL SUL: America in Review, 4 April, 2003.

01/04/2003 Press Release from the office of His Excellency Jorge Bush, the President and Regent of the Kingdom of Tejas

"It is with great empathy that we have taken the news of the illegal destruction of Louisiannas rockets by the Deseret Rebels operating from bases in sovereign territory of the Republic of Tejas. The Republic of Louisianna and the Republic of Tejas share much in the way of common heritage and common goals; and this Government will offer such aid as it may to Louisianna in bringing the Rebels to Justice; including the extradiction of any captured criminals.

"However, it must be stressed that the territory in question is sovereign territory of the Republic of Tejas. While the "assistance" of Alta California is appreciated, it is not necessary and not required.

"Any use by Alta California of destructive weapons against the Rebels will be taken as an act of war perpetrated by a beligerent power against Tejas in its actions against the Deseret Rebels."

*****

LA VOZ DE LA NACION, La Habana, 31-03-03

"The world can no longer ignore the plight of the Floridian Nation! Too long has the global community allowed power hungry European empires to meddle in the affairs of inoffensive American nations. These activities must stop now!" Such was the thrust of President Jaime Bushs Address to the Nation, broadcast last night from a throng packed Lions Stadium in Miami.

Bush recounted the principal imperialist nations involved in our current national Crisis and charged them, in no uncertain terms, to mind their own business (quoting the ancient North American stateman, Benjamin Franklin). Bush charged the North American League and its gang of war mongering cronies in the Federated Kingdoms and the Scandinavian Realm to "respect the boundaries created by the Atlantic"; "the Americas belong to Americans, not Europeans ... and Europeans would do well to mend their own fences before they complain about our back yard".

Regarding recent military activities spearheaded by belligerent Foreign Powers, Bush attacked the villains for bullying a sovereign nation in the process of creating order within its territorial borders. To the baseless complaints of the FK and the SR regarding the colonies they formerly held by force in the region, Bush flat out stated that imperialist agressors "will not be tolerated in the Western Hemisphere any longer. Their time is at an end. Their reign of aggression must stop. We will stop them if they can not restrain themselves."

In a bold statement directed at First President Young of Louisianna, Bush said: "Back off! We have long suspected Louisianna of two timing, and it is clear you have not thrown off your overlords yoke. When Europe beckons, Louisianna wags its tail like a dog. Our struggle is with European imperial powers and their cronies; not with you. Our mutual border, the Pearl River, is considered inviolate, as is the sovereign territory of Louisianna. Our nation is nearing the end of its long struggle to oust foreign influence and create order within our sovereign borders. We charge the powers of North America to resist European demands to reclaim illegally and immorally held colonies in our territory."

Alluding to recent troop movements in southern Louisianna, Bush reiterated that the struggle of the Nation is with European imperialists and their North American allies. He made clear that Florida will not tolerate trans-Mississippi military actions on the part of Louisianna, saying: "If your armies cross the Mississippi, we can only conclude that you have joined forces with our oppressors. We will resist and overcome any illegal military actions on your part."

It has been reported recently that Louisianna has officially expressed "concern" for our military exercises along the borders with Jacobia Province. "We must let them know that, in fact, we are within our rights to patrol the border we share with a belligerent country. We are also within our rights to reclaim territories taken from us in time past by the actions of belligerent countries."

Bush, recalling the American struggle for freedom from European dominion, then called on all American nations to band together in resisting the warmongering Europeans and their henchmen. "American lands are by rights free lands. We must band together in defiance of the Europeans who once enslaved us and would so very clearly do so again at the drop of a hat."

Bush also sent a concilliatory message to the Spains, calling to mind that the Spanish have shown considerable restraint in not yet demonstrating favour for the actions of their fellow imperialists. He recalled SPAINs ancient history in American affairs; and called upon the monarchs to help disuade their fellow Europeans from prosecuting illegitimate war on an innocent nation. "You are in a unique position! You were once our overlords; you have been for long time our friends. The time has come to make a stand!"

The world is on notice! Though they besmirch the name of FLORIDA with false allegations of belligerence, their lies can no longer withstand the light of truth!

"Domestic security is a concern of every citizen during this Crisis. We should not live in fear, though that is what our enemies wish. They send their pirate fleets to harass our shipping. We will not let their acts of terror stop us in our legitimate commercial affairs. Our enemies have sent secret commandos to our shores to terrorise us. I know that the media has not reported this, as the Government has only confirmed this act of inhumanity last week. Let the Nation be ware! If you see strangers acting suspiciously, report them to the Police. We can not let our enemies defeat us before they bring honourable war to our shores!"

"The times are trying, but the Nation is strong. Our enemies are looking for an excuse to attack us. They have no excuse. Theirs are the actions of a decadent empire, wallowing in its own stagnation. They speak of 'freedom' and 'liberation'. We have liberated the slaves of a repressive empire. They would enslave us all. We will resist and overcome the belligerence of our enemies. With your help, my fellow citizens, we shall resist and overcome! Thank you and good night to all! God bless you all."

Cheers and wild applause met nearly every statement made by the President; and the standing ovation that met his final words lasted long and could easily be heard in the neighbourhoods beyond the stadium. It is clear that Right is on our side! Viva el Presidente! Viva la Nación!


IBAP -- 04.04.2003

Baton Rouge, St. Onge (LA) -- In a special session of the Bicameral St. Ongin Legislature, Opposition Party Minority Leader, Senator Alberto Ribeira of Natchitoches called for and received support in a vote of No-Confidence against Presidente Marie-Claire Gildersleeve, citing alleged acts unbecoming a public officer.

In a move that surprised Senator Ribeira, a Presidential Vote was motioned by Representative Liam Arvorec of Nouvelle Orleans, and sustained by the Representative of Hammond (North Pontchartria), Jose Prunier. A short recess was called for all senators to compare the facts issued in the statements of Presidente Gildersleeve and Senator Ribeira.

When the session was reconvened and the vote was cast, Senator Ribeira was defeated by a fifteen percent margin. Presidente Gildersleeve, newly re-elected motioned for an investigation into the allegations against her, and also an inquiry into the behavior of Senator Ribeira. The Motion was ustained, and Senator Ribeira was censured.[DH]


ILL SUL: Scandinavia in Review, 4 April, 2003.

22/03/2003 - Berlingske Tidende: Copenhagen, Denmark SR. Fifty Years of Tsingdav and Hetvotjeng

The city gates were wide open in both cities, Asian and European, yesterday as, true to tradition, hundreds of motorcyclists from outside passed in unison through the gates of the cities to gather in amusement parks and mark the beginning of the amusement park season. But this year, it's a little different. The opening not only marks the amusement parks opening for the season, it also marks the 50 year anniversery of the exchange between Tsingdav and Hetvotjeng. This year the amusement parks have been turned into theme parks; Tsingdavs amusement park has been turned into a Viking theme park, while Hetvotjengs amusement park has been turned into a miniature version of the Forbidden City. Each of the parks conference/exhibition halls will host an exposition, displaying what the sister city has to offer in culture and trade. The expositions will be open for the rest of the amusement park season.

*****

24/03/2003 - Sankt Croix Avis: Akra, Gadangmeland SR. Jaime Bush: Next Stop, Lousianne and the NAL

Unconfirmed reports are coming in citing a build-up of Florida-Caribbean forces along the border with Lousianne and NAL. President Jean-Francois Young of Lousianne has ordered troops to guard the southern frontier. He has also stated that should the NAL provinces of Cherokee, Mobile or Jacobia need aid, "Our armies will be your armies; your freedom, our freedom."

When asked to comment on these reports and whether the liberation of the Cruzan Islands is near, SR foreign minister, C.J.Bernstorff, had this to say, "We shouldn't be too hasty. We have to make sure that the liberation of the Cruzan Islands is permanent. We don't want to make any moves only to lose the Islands again. It wouldn't be fair to the Cruzan people. Meanwhile, we'll have to monitor the situation closely."

Many exiled Cruzans are still frustrated by what seems to be a long delay in dealing with Florida-Caribbea. Cruzan PM-in-exile, Mikael Jacksen, had this to say about the SR government, "All I have to say is that they don't really care about us."

On the other hand, it is no secret that the SR has been conducting military excercises together with FK and NAL forces in the NAL province of New Sweden. It is rumoured that the excercises are in preparation of a joint liberation of the Caribbean islands that were formally a part of the NAL and the SR. However, the governments involved refuse to comment.

Mikael Jacksen adds, "What may be needed is a 'good excuse' for the liberation to comence. Should Florida-Caribbea invade Lousianne or the southern provinces of the NAL, then _that_ would be a 'good excuse' to liberate the Cruzan Islands."

Meanwhile, licenced SR privateers continue to harass Florida-Caribbean shipping. Notable among them is what may be the largest private military company (PMC) in the world, Mærsk Mercenaries A/S, a subsidiary of the A.P.Møller (Mærsk) Group of Companies. Market analysists predict that SR PMC's may become or are involved in the defence of Lousianne and the NAL.

*****

26/03/2003 - Østindisk Stifts: Moulmein, Monland SR. Dansk Østindisk Compagnie (DØC) says Canton is Still Port-of-Call

The SR government has stressed its neutrality in the recent rise of hostilities between Hunan and Canton and will not get involved in the conflict. DØC will, however, continue to use Canton so long as its anti-piracy activities are unhindered by the conflict. As a matter of precaution, DØC is also seeking alternative, more peaceful, ports-of-call for its anti-piracy task force.

A delegation headed by DØC's Admiral Ove Kalkskjold, has been sent to Manila to meet with the Filippine government and to discuss the use of the Subic Bay Naval Base as a viable alternative to Canton. The Castillian government has already a similar arrangement with the Filippine government to use Subic Bay as a port-of-call for it's own anti-piracy task force.

Despite SR's official neutrality in the conflict between Hunan and Canton, Scandinavian PMCs (private military companies), like Mærsk Mercenaries A/S, are clearly taking sides by offering their services to defend Canton. Many are being incorporated in the Cantonese Foreign Legion.


ABL, Hammond, St. Onge, Louisianne (03.04.2003):

Reports received today from observation craft indicated increased movements of troops in Florida-Carribea. Local militias throughout the Trans-Pontchartrian region have begun training sessions every second day as a preventative measure to possible invasion

In related news, First President Young spent the day in the seclusion of his offices, seeking to talk with neighboring governments, notably Florida, and to resolve differences between them.[DH]


RADIO TRANSCRIPT 2388: The Roberto Gonzales Show, RADIO EL PASO, 02 April, 2003.

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

"And we're back, and have you heard the latest out of California? National University's own infochiquita Perrrrrlita Esquivel is on the warpath, marching right next to Attack Chihuahua, El Gran Generalisimito himself, Defense Whatsit Jonz Bonírva. And amigos, when she moves _anything_, she's saying a lot - ay que picante! Hey El Paso, what's that old number one favorite on the California hit parade? [music in background] 'Nada que mentiras, mentiras!' Hey Perrrrrlita, get a grip on the truth already!

"And don't you just love how she has no opinion in that airy little head of hers? But then, she blabs on for twenty minutes like some old windbag spouting her usual tripe. Notice how she always takes everything anyone I or anyone else in the Tejan media totally out of context and spins it to make her so called position look plausible.

"Like her tour bus comment. Where the hell did that come from!? Anyone who's read anything outside the biased Californian press knows they carried an explosive on that bus. And the missiles - in my never to be humbled opinion, a good thing they 'went astray'! I'd like nothing better than to see our Presidente take a much stronger stance on California.

"Am I wrong in denouncing our Presidente for not taking more decisive action at this time? I know some in the media and Government will say I'm wrong; but I know, and you know, I'm right on the money.

"Let's take a call: María in Socorro, hey María, what's up, amiga?
--Well, Robí, that infochica really had some nerve saying what she said. I mean, how can she say our Grand Army is useless? My husband and brothers are all in the Army - they say how strong it is, how California is afraid to fight because we'll kick their a.. all the way to the Ocean if they mess with us.
--Well said, María! Is your husband up along the Zone?
--Yes. He is stationed with the cavalry there.
--Well, if anyone would know how weak the Californian position is, to say nothing of their tin soldiers - and how idiotic Perrrrrlita sounds - it would be your husband and all the other brave men up there.
--Yes, and she is all wrong about Méjico. They didn't just hand over useless land. They were weak and couldn't hold on to it! Robí, my family came from Méjico, and we left because they're still weak and we can't make a decent living there. Everyone knows this things! How can this Perlita lie so easily?
--Typical of California radio, María. Just keep RADIO EL PASO tuned in for the truth; and thanks María for the call.

"And now it's time for RADIO EL PASOs weather report. Hey, Sancho Bontiempo, why do we bother with these reports? It's always beautiful in El Paso! ... "[PB]

[END TRANSCRIPT]


RADIO TRANSCRIPT A645-1, the Frankie Ozarque Show, Radio Pontchartrain, Nouvelle Orleans, St. Onge, (Rep. Louisianne), 2 April, 2003 [BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

"Good Morning, Nouvelle Orleans! Frankie Ozarque here - spinning down the tunes for you this morning! Coming up in the next half-hour I'll be playing the debut single from Zaydeco Warrior, but first let me introdcue this morning's guest, Senator Alberto Ribeira, Opposition party minority leader from our own St. Onge. How's the family in Natchitoches, Senator Ribeira?"

"Might fine, might fine, thanks for asking, Frankie."

"It's been a buzy frew days politically for you, hasn't it?"

"Ever since the rocket mishap I've been eagerly requisitioning information, tryihng to get to the bottom off this, trying to understand why our government is hiding the fact they're two-faced."

"Two-faced, Senator?"

"Absolutely, Frankie -- It's no secret that Louisianne's prior administrations sold weapons to both Alta California and Tejas. It's been common practice, why hid behind it now?"

"These are serious charges, Senator."

"Very serious, Frankie. The people of Saint Onge and Louisianne deserve to know the truth. I'll tell you this as well, Frankie--The people from North of Pontchartrain have been talking to me. See, they've got family that live east of the Pearl, and they've been saying there's no military movements. Jaime Bush only wanted the Floridians to be home. They're home now, Frankie, they're home and they're happy.

"It's obvious to me, as I'm sure it would be obvious to youi, or anyone from the area that Louisianne's just trying to keep the wolves at bay--that's why there's a buildup of army forces--that's why the Pontchartrain Causeway's wired with dynamite--yes, dynamite folks.

"I'll tell you also that Madame Marie-Claire Gildersleeve is right in on this dirty business. I've told you for months and months about her dealings. Many of you believed me at election time last year, but not enough. Some of you were confused by that double-talking snake, and understandably so. Now that you see the truth, I expect you'll make the right decision.

"I'm calling a special meeting tomorrow of the Provinical Parliament. I hope that I will have the support of you, my fellow St. Ongins and St. Ongines. You need some one to speak truth to the Council -- I'm your man."

"Senator--you've got my support. I hope the Pontchartrians have listened well. You've got my vote."

"Well, thank you, Frankie. If you'll excuse me, I've got some of my other constituents to speak to."

"Certainly, Senator. Folks, that was the fine Senator Alberto Ribeira, always a pleasure to have him on the show. Now, let's go into the long-awaited single of Zaydeco Warrior -- "Getting Jiggy on the Bayou Tonight." [END TRANSCRIPT][DH]


02.04.2003 - Sankt Croix Avis: Akra, Gadangmeland SR:

Mikael Jacksen, Cruzan PM-in-Exile says: Get the Facts Straight, Bush!

The other day, Florida-Caribbean president Jaime Bush held his Address to the Nation speech. Among other things, he called the SR a power hungry European empire meddling in the affairs of inoffensive American nations.

I'm not sure what president Jaime Bush is talking about here, but "power hungry European empire" is not what I'd call the SR. The SR has had a long and well-known history of neutrality, and for the most part has not meddled in other nation's affairs. It was the extremest form of "I'll mind my own business, while you guys mind your own". This policy has meant that the more aggressive impirial nations have basically left the SR alone, which works well for a multi-national state like the SR because in all honesty the SR isn't exactly a military giant. The only exception to this policy was during the Second Great War when Germany and Russia decided to divide the SR among themselves. This was also when Florida-Caribbea took advantage of this situation to invade the Cruzan Islands. The SR was then forced to abandon its neutralist policy to ally itself with military giants like the FK and its allies in order to defend itself.

So no, I wouldn't call the SR "power hungry". Nor would I call it "empirialistic". That's utter nonsense. What power can the SR gain from keeping the Cruzan Islands? None as far as I can tell, and judging from the long fifty years that exiled Cruzans like myself have had to endure away from our island homeland, the SR has clearly demonstrated that there is no real incentive for it to liberate the islands.

As for his claims that the SR is "meddling in the affairs of inoffensive American nations", well... I'm again not sure what he is talking about. First of all, the SR is currently only meddling in the affairs of _one_ American nation, Florida-Caribbea. In fact, this is the only country in the world being meddle with by the SR.

Looking at history, this in itself is unusual for the SR. The SR hardly has any interests in the American continents other than Greenland and the Cruzan Islands. Mind you, Greenland was Scandinavian for about a thousand years and the Cruzan Islands for three hundred years, and for those three hundred years Scandinavia has not meddled in the affairs of its Caribbean neighbours - even when Florida-Caribbea began their so-called liberation of the other islands from other European powers. SR's neutralist policy was meant to insure good relations with Florida-Caribbea. Imagine how cheated the SR felt when Florida-Caribbea invaded the Cruzan Islands.

Between the SR and Florida-Caribbea, the offending nation is clearly the latter. Like I said, before the invasion of the Cruzan Islands, the SR has never meddled in the affairs of Florida-Caribbea, whereas Florida-Caribbea was the one doing the invading.

President Jaime Bush has also charged the SR to "respect the boundaries created by the Atlantic"; "the Americas belong to Americans, not Europeans ..."

Apparently, Bush is not aware of the roots Cruzans share with people across the Atlantic. Most Cruzans are descended from slaves that were shipped over to the islands from what was formerly the Danish Guinea Coast - now Gadangmeland - in West Africa. Quite a few were Scandinavian, Dutch, British, French, and Spanish adventurers. Many of us today, like myself, are Mulats - a mix of African and European descent. Sure, we are Americans, but we are just as much African and European. In fact, one of the reasons why the Dansk Guinea-Vestindisk Federation was formed within the SR when we were granted autonomy was in recognition of this fact.

Bush is also, apparently, not aware that the SR does indeed recognize that the Americas belong to Americans, not Europeans. The Cruzan Islands, together with the rest of Dansk Guinea-Vestindien, were granted autonomy in 1917. It wasn't exactly difficult for my great grandfather, David Hamilton Jacksen, to argue for in the Rigsråd in Gjøteborg back then. Greenland, of course, received autonomy much later in 1978, due to their arctic isolation.

The Cuban daily, La Voz de la Nacion, claims that the SR has held the Cruzan Islands by force. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sure, the islands were slave colonies, but it is impossible to compare with former Spanish and Portuguese colonies.

The Spaniards and the Portuguese conquered their colonies by force subdueing and eventually exterminating the native Carib population in the process. The Scandinavians, on the other hand, acquired theirs by peaceful means. When Denmark-Norway arrived in the scene, nobody was interested in the Virgin Islands any longer because there were no longer natives to work the land as slaves. Denmark-Norway thus claimed most of the islands when nobody wanted them and, most importantly, when they were uninhabited - a legal claim by all means. The rest were purchased from France and the Brits. So Bush's charge to the powers of North America to resist SR demands "to reclaim illegally and immorally held colonies in our territory" is unfounded. SR's claims to the Cruzan Islands are legal, and though they may not have been entirely moral by today's standards for the first 150 years of written Cruzan history, they were certainly more moral than either the Portuguese and the Spaniards.

Spanish and Portuguese slave colonies were notorious for their brutal treatment of their slaves. The Cruzan islands on the other hand did not suffer the same fate (except in a brief period (1733-1734) during the infamous rule of governor Philip Gardelin). The Cruzan Islands was, in fact, the first territory in the new world to offer public education for slaves in 1787. Denmark-Norway was also the first state ever to declare the slave trade illegal in 1792, and emancipation was guaranteed in 1847 and was in full effect in 1848 - all without any bloodshed.

So Bush's claims that Florida-Caribbea has liberated the slaves of a repressive "empire" is entirely unsubstantiated by historical facts. Bush's claims that the SR intends to enslave them all is nothing but false propaganda. The fact is, _he_ is the one enslaving the Cruzan people.[KJ]


RADIO TRANSCRIPT 13324; From: the "Perlita Esquivel show", KESO radio (Universidad Nacional de Alta California - UNAC), 01.04.2003: [BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

"My, my folks, it looks like that fiery airbag Roberto Gonzales is up to his old tricks on Radio El Paso earlier today. As always he moves his mouth a lot, but says nothing. I thought i'd take some time out of today's show to respond to his comments. Of course being an Alta California Woman, i have no real opinion on this matter, according to Sr. Gonzales, as we all know. Let's take a choice paragraph of his and break it down, shall we?

"We all know California attacks us. We're only defending ourselves."

Oh yes, let's not forget all the Defending Tejas did when they fired on a Tourbus from Montrei that was mistaken for an Alta California bus load of "terrorists". Or how about all the missiles fired "accidentally" across the Colorado each month by Tejanos. Accidental misfires they call it. And don't forget the massacre last year of nearly 1,000 civilians in Agujas when a military shell from Tejas "misfired" and landed in the town center during one of the busiest shopping days of the week, according to an ANNAC article of 6 January, 2002 called "Tejano 'misfire' kills 968 in Agujas".

"California bitches about tensions along the border: well Bonirva, pull your forces back and forget the laughable colonial claims on our land, and you won't have to worry about fighting us!"

Yes, Laughable Colonial Claims on "their" land especially when that's what Tejas used when they fought Mejico for Independance. How soon we forget our past!

What's so funny about all of that is Tejas seems to only claim and fight for useless desert that no country wants. I'm betting it's because the world knows how pathetic and useless their military actually is.

Even Mejico basically told Tejas they could have most of the land they have because it was useless to Mejico during the wars of Independance. And then, years after they gained independance, they turned around and tried to battle Mejico for their northern states in the Battle of the Rio Grande when Tejas tried to take the northern Mejican states of Chihuahua, Coahuila, Nuevo Leon, and Tamaulipas.

Yeah, Tejas is such a bad-ass, even though they pretty much got mowed down like paper targets as they attempted to cross the river. And this was decades after the wars of independance!

Why Alta California continues to fight for the chunk of land sometimes called Deseret is beyond me, but i suppose anything to kick those Tejano's in their collective Cojones will do.

"Bonirva, you can go take a flying leap off the Canyon"

This is probably the one time I can agree with Mr. Gonzales. [END TRANSCRIPT][BG]


BBC AMERICA -- 01 April, 2003 -- Oregonian Official Statement

"The Government of Oregon considers this act to be unacceptable. The Deseret Freedom Fighters Oregon branch hereby loses its representative, and is reclassified as a criminal organisation, and all Deseret ethnic organisations shall face review. Alta California and Tejas are requested to work together to end the war and Oregon is willing to mediate. If such was is not ended in a timely manner, we will end it for you. We have had too many incidents where the fighting wound up on our side off the border, and once more is one too many. All Oregonian forces not assigned to Basra, and hereby called up and all Volunteer Brigades are called home as soon as is practicable.
[Signed] Tokugawa Subinder, agent for the Hayu Tayi"[WC]


RADIO TRANSCRIPT 1432; From: The Roberto Gonzales Show, RADIO EL PASO, 01 April, 2003.

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

"And we're back. Well, we've all heard the news by now. California is on the warpath, as is usual. And did you notice the laughable attempt to drag Imperial Spain into their position? Heloo! Imperial Spain is no more, amigos! Hasn't been in more than a century!

"And we heard from Californias very own attack chihuahua this morning. I quote: 'Tejas has always had a false claim against the North Eastern territory and any action will be considered agression by an already imperialistic nation.' That's what Bonirva said; well, I say get with history, Bonirva! Propping up Californian non-claims with archaic Spanish legalism won't cut it. You've had your beady little eyes on Tejas for years; go on and admit it! 'Any action will be considered agression'? Yip-yip yap-yap! I don't know about you El Paso, but I'm shakin in my boots! Let's go to the calls...

"--And we have José here in El Paso. What's goin on, amigo?
--Hey Robi! Listen, you've got it all backward. I listen to you every day, but you don't know what you're talkin about.
--I don't know what I'm talkin about!?
--Yeah.
--Then why my friend do _I_ have the radio show and you...?
--I was in the army, man, and you don't know shit. You're always going on about how Tehas is right in fighting California, how they attacked our land. Man, that land is shit, rocks and mountains. Let em ... [silence]

"José? José? Well, clearly José wussed out. We all know California attacks us. We're only defending ourselves. California bitches about tensions along the border: well Bonirva, pull your forces back and forget the laughable colonial claims on our land, and you won't have to worry about fighting us! Bonirva, you can go take a flying leap off the Canyon; I don't think we'll be backing down from our rights anytime soon! What say you, El Paso. Let's have a poll: for or against kicking Californias beach spoiled ass out of Tejas! And I see we're up against traffic, so we'll turn to Paulita Sanchez for RADIO EL PASO first traffic report. Paulita... [END TRANSCRIPT][PB]


Eu Aulon News Brief - 1 April, 2003:

MONTREI, MONTREI -- His excellency, President Felíp Paulo San Clemént decreed: "Due to the rising tensions between Tejas and Alta California as a result of the recent terrorist action by Deseret Freedom Fighters in the Sovereign Republic of Louisianne, Montrei is forced to take a position of neutrality in this conflict. While Montrei has strong ties to Alta California, it cannot deny the partnerships that it also has with Tejas. Montrei will continue its trade relations with both nations, but will no longer supply either side with weapons".

President San Clemént further stated that it will not be forced to take either side and if Tejas or Alta California pushed Montrei to do so, all trade with either nation will cease, and may be considered an act of war against Montrei.

The Empire of Japan has offered to aid Montrei should Alta California or Tejas take action against Montrei to push it to either side. Prime Minister Kenichi Saito declared "Our long relations with Montrei, being our closest trade partner, ally, and long time friend, compel us to help them if Tejas or Alta California take action against Montrei. We offer our full support if the situation becomes hostile.[BG]


ANNAC News Brief -- 1 April, 2003:

ANNAC -- Recent comments made by the Republic of Tejas concerning the disputed territory rightfully belonging to Alta California as set by Spain during the colonial era has the government of Alta California in a fury.

"Statements made by Tejas that if Alta California acts against "Deseret Freedom Fighters", that it is an act of war, is intolerable", according to Defense Minister Jos Bonaêrva.

"If Tejas moves against any Alta California civilians, soldiers, or territory, Alta California will be forced to take stronger action against Tejas. Tejas has always had a false claim against the North Eastern territory and any action will be considered agression by an already imperialistic nation", said Defense Minister Bonaêrva.

Reports from the highly militarized zone of the Colorado River suggest Both Tejas and Alta California are fortifying their defenses. What had been a cease-fire for the past few years seems to have become increased tensions on both sides of the border.[BG]


LA VOZ DE LA NACION, La Habana, 01-04-2003

La Habana, 31 March -- "The world can no longer ignore the plight of the Floridian Nation! Too long has the global community allowed power hungry European empires to meddle in the affairs of inoffensive American nations. These activities must stop now!" Such was the thrust of President Jaime Bushs Address to the Nation, broadcast last night from a throng packed Lions Stadium in Miami.

Bush recounted the principal imperialist nations involved in our current national Crisis and charged them, in no uncertain terms, to mind their own business (quoting the ancient North American stateman, Benjamin Franklin). Bush charged the North American League and its gang of war mongering cronies in the Federated Kingdoms and the Scandinavian Realm to "respect the boundaries created by the Atlantic"; "the Americas belong to Americans, not Europeans ... and Europeans would do well to mend their own fences before they complain about our back yard".

Regarding recent military activities spearheaded by belligerent Foreign Powers, Bush attacked the villains for bullying a sovereign nation in the process of creating order within its territorial borders. To the baseless complaints of the FK and the SR regarding the colonies they formerly held by force in the region, Bush flat out stated that imperialist agressors "will not be tolerated in the Western Hemisphere any longer. Their time is at an end. Their reign of aggression must stop. We will stop them if they can not restrain themselves."

In a bold statement directed at First President Young of Louisianna, Bush said: "Back off! We have long suspected Louisianna of two timing, and it is clear you have not thrown off your overlords yoke. When Europe beckons, Louisianna wags its tail like a dog. Our struggle is with European imperial powers and their cronies; not with you. Our mutual border, the Pearl River, is considered inviolate, as is the sovereign territory of Louisianna. Our nation is nearing the end of its long struggle to oust foreign influence and create order within our sovereign borders. We charge the powers of North America to resist European demands to reclaim illegally and immorally held colonies in our territory."

Alluding to recent troop movements in southern Louisianna, Bush reiterated that the struggle of the Nation is with European imperialists and their North American allies. He made clear that Florida will not tolerate trans-Mississippi military actions on the part of Louisianna, saying: "If your armies cross the Mississippi, we can only conclude that you have joined forces with our oppressors. We will resist and overcome any illegal military actions on your part."

It has been reported recently that Louisianna has officially expressed "concern" for our military exercises along the borders with Jacobia Province. "We must let them know that, in fact, we are within our rights to patrol the border we share with a belligerent country. We are also within our rights to reclaim territories taken from us in time past by the actions of belligerent countries."

Bush, recalling the American struggle for freedom from European dominion, then called on all American nations to band together in resisting the warmongering Europeans and their henchmen. "American lands are by rights free lands. We must band together in defiance of the Europeans who once enslaved us and would so very clearly do so again at the drop of a hat."

Bush also sent a concilliatory message to the Spains, calling to mind that the Spanish have shown considerable restraint in not yet demonstrating favour for the actions of their fellow imperialists. He recalled SPAINs ancient history in American affairs; and called upon the monarchs to help disuade their fellow Europeans from prosecuting illegitimate war on an innocent nation. "You are in a unique position! You were once our overlords; you have been for long time our friends. The time has come to make a stand!"

The world is on notice! Though they besmirch the name of FLORIDA with false allegations of belligerence, their lies can no longer withstand the light of truth!

"Domestic security is a concern of every citizen during this Crisis. We should not live in fear, though that is what our enemies wish. They send their pirate fleets to harass our shipping. We will not let their acts of terror stop us in our legitimate commercial affairs. Our enemies have sent secret commandos to our shores to terrorise us. I know that the media has not reported this, as the Government has only confirmed this act of inhumanity last week. Let the Nation be ware! If you see strangers acting suspiciously, report them to the Police. We can not let our enemies defeat us before they bring honourable war to our shores!"

"The times are trying, but the Nation is strong. Our enemies are looking for an excuse to attack us. They have no excuse. Theirs are the actions of a decadent empire, wallowing in its own stagnation. They speak of 'freedom' and 'liberation'. We have liberated the slaves of a repressive empire. They would enslave us all. We will resist and overcome the belligerence of our enemies. With your help, my fellow citizens, we shall resist and overcome! Thank you and good night to all! God bless you all."

Cheers and wild applause met nearly every statement made by the President; and the standing ovation that met his final words lasted long and could easily be heard in the neighbourhoods beyond the stadium. It is clear that Right is on our side! Viva el Presidente! Viva la Nación![PB]


BBC World News Service, America Desk -- 1 April, 2003 -- Press Release from the office of His Excellency the President of the Republic of Tejas:

"It is with great empathy that we have taken the news of the illegal destruction of Louisiannas rockets by the Deseret Rebels operating from bases in sovereign territory of the Republic of Tejas. The Republic of Louisianna and the Republic of Tejas share much in the way of common heritage and common goals; and this Government will offer such aid as it may to Louisianna in bringing the Rebels to Justice; including the extradiction of any captured criminals.

"However, it must be stressed that the territory in question is sovereign territory of the Republic of Tejas. While the "assistance" of Alta California is appreciated, it is not necessary and not required.

"Any use by Alta California of destructive weapons against the Rebels will be taken as an act of war perpetrated by a beligerent power against Tejas in its actions against the Deseret Rebels."[PB]


IBAP -- 01.APR.2003 (11 Germinal, CCXI) -- By Harold Kohler, religious news correspondant Zaraemla, Nouvelle Cournouaille, Louisianne

Speaking from the steps of the Church Administration Building President Gordon B. Hinckley of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints expressed concern over recent events.

"While these people were at one time members of our Church, they now are not, nor have they been for several generations. Years ago President Brigham Young sent their ancestors to colonize the valleys and to mine the mountains of Northern Deseret. When the government of Alta California requested that we vacate the lands that they claimed, our church's fourth president, Wilford Woodruff agreed to their request and sent to our peoples in the area, requesting they return to live in Louisianne.

"Some returned, many refused, and with the end of polygamy, many of them left the church. We do not accept their claim to be members of this church. While the Deseret Freedom Fighters may be descended of formechurch members, they are not of us. We abhor their acts."

In related news, the council has begun a stricter border patrol and is observing carefully those who have shown themselves prone to sympathy with the DFF.[DH]


APD -- 1 April, 2003 -- DIPLOMATIC CORPS ENLARGED

Raguza, DALMATIA -- In light of the expanding relations between Dalmatia and Louisianne, the Dalmatian government has dispatched 15 new diplomats to her embassy in Louisianne to fill such new posts as Business and Air Attaches and several other minor diplomatic posts.[FGV]


Agencia Nacional de Noticias De Alta California (ANNAC) -- March 31, 2003

The recent destruction of a Louisianne rocket by Desert Freedom Fighters has compelled the government of Alta California to declare the disputed North Eastern territory of Alta California a higher priority in its security plan than the disputed border with Tejas. While occasional fighting still occurs along the AC and Tejas border, Alta California has stepped up its campaign in the much fought over north eastern region of Alta California (illegally claimed by Deseret and Tejas).

Alta California has also decided to use some of its newer weaponry, including such devices as Fuel Air bombs and "daisy cutters" in order to flush out hiding terrorist cells within the disputed territory.

All captured Deseret Freedom Fighters have been executed Without trial according to Alta California war code for people who are a "foreign enemy of the state".

The country of Montrei has offered supplies but has refused to send Military aid. Medical supplies, food, and water are being sent from Montrei to Alta California, but at this time Montrei remains Neutral in regards to a position for or against the Deseret Freedom Fighters.[BG]


APD -- 31 March, 2003 -- PAN BALKAN DEFENSE ORGANISATION FORMED

Skopye, Bulgaria -- The heads of state of eight Balkan nations have signed the final documents relating to the formal establishment of a Pan-Balkan mutual defence organisation, known as the Balkan Defence Agreement. On hand to sign the documents was our Prime Minister, Aurial Ybl, along with Bulgarian President Yordan Hristov, Hungarian President Istvan Eszterhazy and Albanian Prime Minister Igli Tare. The three member states of the Romanian Confederation each signed the treaty separately, as their Basic Law of Confederation requires for international agreements in the name of the Confederation. Signing were Muntenian Chancellor Gheorghe Raducioiu, Oltenian Chancellor Tibor Ionescu and Moldovan Regent Field Marshal Serghei Jucov.

As part of the agreement, a so-called International Regiment will be established as a rapid-reaction force to go wherever may be required, at very short notice. The foundations for the International Regiment are already solidly in place, since the establishment of the Tripartite Battalion comprised of Dalmatian, Muntenian and Hungarian troops as part of the precursor to the BDA ratified by those three states in May 2001. The Tripartite Battalion saw combat in the recently concluded Dalmato-Sanjaki war.[FGV]


IBAP -- 31 March, 2003 (10 Germinal, CCXI) -- By Marc le Noir

Paris-sur-Mizouri, Osage, Louisianne (IBAP) -- Record numbers of reporting agencies showed up to the National Space Committee of Louisianne (CNEL) headquarters this morning for the joint news conference of the Ministry of Internal Affaires and CNEL.

Jean-Louis Cattin, CEO of CNEL appeared visibly shaken and genuinely concerned at the news. He announced that the Dalmatian Development Team (EDD) had reviewed the telemtry sent from the failed rocket, and that it had been discovered that the fuel baffles were not at fault.

The demise of the rocket was due instead to the Deseret Freedom Fighters, a vigilante group heretofore only involved in harrying the forces of Alta California and Tejas in their squabbles over the Territory of Deseret.

Henri Dufayel, Minister of Interior Affaires proceeded to explain that a message had been sent to the Council's chambers in the Capitol. In the letter, dated the 29th of March, (8 Germinal) the spokesperson for the DFF declared "an unending terror campaign against the governments of Louisianne, Alta California, Tejas and Oregon until peace is established in the region of Deseret."

The spokesperson went on to state that DFF had chosen the rocket launch to "clearly show that Louisianne would rather waste time, energy and intelligence on the vacuum of space than to help fellow humans in need."

A state of alert was placed over the entire country from this moment forward and all citizens are encouraged to report suspicious activites to proper authorities. Corporations such as Chemin de Fer Louisiannais and others are taking steps to safeguard their holdings.

First President Young and the Council have issued a statement requesting an investigation by the League of Nations into the allegations cited by the DFF as well as an appeal to the Nations of Alta California and Tejas to cease hostilities, with an offer to act as arbiter in a cease-fire council.[DH]


IBAP -- 28.MAR.2003 (7 Germinal, CCXI) -- By Marc le Noir

Paris-sur-Mizouri, Osage -- In a press conference at the headquarters of the National Space Committee of Louisianne (CNEL) Chief Jean-Louis Cattin announced that a second artificial satellite will soon take its place in the heavens.

Using a pressurized zeppelin, a two man crew, consisting of Captain Jacques Colnet and Lieutenant Sebastien Fallon, piloted the government vessel le Cygne to an altitude of 150,000 feet. "The view was fascinating," declared Cpt. Jacques Colnet. "The Earth curved away beneath us as a great ball."

Lt. Fallon was also awed. "I wonder what great feelings of wonderment the first man or woman to leave the atmosphere will feel as they see the wonder of the planet that gave them birth."

Todays launch was unsuccessful due to rocket failure. Three seconds into the flight of the rocket, the reactants of Liquid Hydrogen and Oxygen mixed in abnormal proportions when a valve failed. The resulting flush of fluid caused the demise of the rocket, spreading debris in a cone from Nouvelle Navarre north into the Unincorporated Territories of the NAL. First President Young extended an apology to the NAL as well as aid in cleaning up the mess.

A spokesman for CNEL assured the public at large that there would be no environmental contamination due to the nature of the reactants. The Dalmation Development Team, (EDD) assured all involved that it was in fact only a minor defect that was easily repairable, to which the Board of Oversight, composed of Kemrese, German and Louisiannan scientists concurred.

A secondary launch is planned in two republican weeks' time, (20 days) after modifications are tested and completed. This next launch will proceed as todays launch was supposed to, an ascent of the carrier Zeppelin to 150,000 feet, whereupon the rocket would be released. After falling a safe distance the rocket would ignite and it would be guided on its way into space. By doing so, the travel distance is much less as well as less costly.[DH]


IBAP, Nouvelle Cornouaille -- 27.MAR.2003 (6 Germinal, CCXI) -- By Marc Pelletier

After this most recent snow storm has ended, the people of Abondance are finally digging out. Snow tallies at the Mormon Conference Center reached surpassed 1.5 meters, but 50 miles to the north, where the heart of the storm passed, in Abondance, the total reached almost three meters of depth. [Ed. - 1.5 meters is a little more than 2 ells.]

This heavy, wet snow was compared by a visiting Alta Californien to the snow that is received in the Sierra Nevada Mountains, which is fondly referred to as Sierra Cement. Road crews have been working around the clock to clear at least one lane on the county roads, and now almost all residents of the county should be able to leave their homes.

The heavy snow fortunately has not caused property damage, though melt off is a concern to local authorities throughout Nouvelle Cournouaille and much of the Mizouri watershed.

CFL reported today that it is now able to get freight through to the affected areas, which has been delayed since the start of the snow storm a week ago.[DH]


BBC World News Service -- 24.03.2003 -- From: Do Ge GwongDung/Aleatoric Natal Agency of (R)evolutionary Canton (ANA(R)C); NEWSFLASH from the InfoWar Desk of Hugo Wolfgang Zang-Helbloem

Saturday Citizen-President Chang Hsueh-Liang stepped down from power citing the need to re-find/re-fine his personal connexion to the Tao of _Wu-wei_ ["effortless effort"] and "the Music of Nature." He has gone into an undisclosed mountain retreat where he is unreachable for further comment or communications. Reluctantly "with a heavy bittersweetness in my heart and spasmodic nervous farts in my brain," General-Strategist Hanuman Zhang has become the new Provisional Citizen-President.

Yesterday Zhang's first act as Provisional Citizen-President was to declare that "starting today the 23rd of March 2003 Common Era, the Autonomous Tao of Canton and Overseas Allies will henceforth be known as _Do Ge GwongDung_ - the Tao of Canton - natively ... and known as the Aleatoric Natal Agency of Revolutionary-evolutionary Canton -ANARC - elsewhere... " Then using a modern brush-marker and fine art-quality recycled Canton rag-&-rice paper, Zhang displayed how _Aleatoric Natal Agency of Revolutionary-evolutionary Canton_ could be visually printed or written in Roman alphabetic letters:

Aleatoric Natal Agency of (R)evolutionary Canton ANA(R)C

Surrounded by heavily armoured-and-armed bodyguards, Cantonese Foreign Legionaire Shock Troops and Taoist Shaolin monk-warriors, Zhang stunned the gathered Cantonese Government Assembly - as well as the domestic and foreign press. Stating that he is abidicating being Provisional Citizen-President after officially dissolving "the inept incompetent, bureacratically-overfreighted, overloaded hierarchial Government Assembly" in favour of "creating a grass-roots, bottom-up, Libertarian-Socialist 'direct participatory techno-democracy' based on a flexible, _ad hoc_ _tong_ {"association(s)"} networks of bonded couples, extended families, localized cells, neighborhoods, collectives, cooperatives, guilds, cadres, villages, townships, cities, cantons, unions, syndicates and confederations.

"In another words, an organic socio-cultural _cybernetic system_ rather than a politico-economic centralizing power infrastructure. Simply put, a way of life that takes into account that 'shit happens' and that no one has any real control over what happens in the real, raw reality of life. Life like this frustrates all the world's 'control-freaks' and 'power-addicts" - they are in denial of the facts apparent for all to see in the 'Big Picture.' "There will be no slow-reacting government hierarchy ...or rigid utopian manifestos or amendable constitutional declarations or vaguely worded mission statements. The power of the people informed, educated and united from the bottom-up is highly adaptable to change - ever-ready to respond to what is necessary, possible and imaginable.

"Revolutionary Evolution: By Any Means Necessary, Possible and Imaginable!!! All Power to Change, Probability and the Imagination!!!" "This is real, life-affirming People-Power... not an utopian pipe dream or a partyline ideological dogma."

Vociferous outcries of dismay, angry questions, curses and boo-&-hisses from the Assembly were greeted with cold steely stares from Zhang and his entourage. Zhang refused to respond to the blitzkrieg of numerous questions hurled at him by the polyglot press.

After thunderously banging his armoured fist three times on the time-scarred dark rosewood podium for silence, Zhang continued by saying: "We Cantonese have the Chinese values, culture and appropriate social technology to create a hopeful, long-term future ... inspite of 'eating the bitterness' of the Hunan War of Aggression.

"Afterall, we Cantonese are good gamblers . . . adventurous world-roaming nomads. We know how to 'stay hungry' against all odds. Having eaten bitterness, we Cantonese have the gift of _foo nanglik_ - 'bitter strength' - in these immensely, intensely, interesting times.

"It is incumbent upon the Cantonese to bring forward into the future the threads first woven during the Golden Age of the glorious Silk Road into the Carbon-Fiber Age.

The Silk Road - as a metaphor for transcultural exchange - is not just a linear one of connexions between East and West... it is a paradigm for more complex, more diversified _polycultural_ evolution and revolution." Grinning, Zhang said in conclusion, "This is all I have to say for now. Thank you all for your Time-&-Space in this humble-but-essential Matter."[CH-HD-HZ]


IBAP -- 24.MAR.2003 (2 Germinal CCXI) -- By Marshall Smith

Zaräémlà, Nouvelle Cournouaille -- Speaking from the historic tabernacle, Gordon Bitner Hinckley, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, brought closure to the 172nd Annual General Conference of the church. In his address, broadcast by radio and TV throughout the world to congregations of Saints, President Hinckley commented on the state of affairs in the world, but went on to say, "Do not fear the future. While wars may rage and economies falter, we will not want. We live in a good country. We are surrounded by people friendly to us, and understanding. Live your lives -- prepare for the future, but do not fear. Have hope and joy in knowledge of future harvests, of the coming sunrises. Do not needlessly worry."[DH]


Interbalkpress -- 24.03.2003 -- [Interbalkpress, based in Budapest, is the only independent news service in the Balkans (and the least biased)...]

BELGRADE, Kingdom of Serbia (from Interbalkpress wire service reports) -- Acting on a tip from Dalmatian police, the Serbian Royal Gendarmerie made several arrests of several prominent Serbian businessmen yesterday on the grounds of suspected illegal arms sales to Iraaq. According to the information released by the Gendarmerie, the managing director of the Kraljevska Zastava Heavy Machinery Corp., the COO of Orao Aeronautics Corp. and the deputy managing director of Sinvoz d.o.o., a railway equipment factory also manufacturing military equipment, have been taken into custody. On condition of anonymity a gendarme said that the illegal arms sales in question include anti-aircraft missile systems made by Kraljevska Zastava, advanced aircraft radar systems made by Orao Aeronautics and other items. In addition radar jamming equipment of the latest technology is reported to have found its way to Iraaq through these conduits. If this is true, it is likely, according to the gendarme, that the Dalmatian Tesla Electronics Company is also involved, since that firm is the one who manufactured the equipment in question. A spokesman for Tesla Electronics said that no sales of such advanced systems have been made to Serbia or any other state, since military equipment produced in Dalmatia is never sold abroad until it has been superseded by more advanced systems. The spokesman also said that the firm will cooperate fully with Dalmatian police if these issues are brought up officially.[FGV]


FujianNET News -- 24.03.2003

All three parliaments of Fujian, Taiwan, and Hainan have agreed on a decision to send troops to aid Canton, in an attempt to neutralise an invasion from Hunan, consent from the King is expected in a matter of hours. The Meizhou Republic has also promised to send troops in. Zhuanguo, has said that it will only aid Canton if the autonomous Zhuang Republic inside Canton is given near-complete autonomy. The Chinese League has condemned the attack, and called on it's members to aid Canton, with money or troops.[JW]


IBAP -- 24.MAR.2003 -- 3 Germinal CCXI

Paris-sur-Mizouri (Republique de la Louisianne) -- Following reports of aggresion around the world, a heightened state of alert was declared. In a press conference, President Jean-Francois Young spoke for the Council, citing reports from airships that had recently passed along the southern three provincess of the NAL. In these reports statements were made that suggested a possible and probable amassing of forces by President Jaime Bush of Florida- Caribbea in the western panhandle of Florida.

With the threat of attack either along the coast to Nouvelle Orleans or across to the Mississippi, a state of "greater awareness" has been declared. Troops and artillery as well as military airships are stationed on the northern shores of lake Pontchartrain, with defensive measures ready, should Jaime Bush decide the border of Florida is again too small.

President Young went on to state that should the NAL provinces of Cherokee, Mobile or Jacobia need aid, "Our armies will be your armies; your freedom, our freedom."[DH]


IBAP -- 22.MAR.2003 -- 1 Germinal CCXI -- By Marc Chamois, PsM Journal

PARIS-SUR-MIZOURI (Louisianne) -- Jean-François Young today announced his disdain of the aggression of the Hunan Republic against the Cantonese people and declared a state of embargo against the aggressors. "No wheat, no technology, and no money will leave our country to travel to the hands of the Hunan. Their assets in our country are frozen, and their trading vessels will be impounded if they seek harbor in our ports."

First President Young went on to ask that nations around the world join the embargo of this dangerous and agressive nation.[DH]


BBC World News Service, East Asia Desk -- 22.03.2003 -- Autonomous Tao of Canton and Overseas Allies HUMAN INTEREST STORY from the InfoWar Desk of Hugo Wolfgang Zang-Helbloem, quoting and editing other journalistic and citizen-government sources:

In a colourful, modern Tao Ritual in the capital's Shaolin Temple, a pair chosen for their "hopeful, futuristic symbolic value" joined Citizen-President Chang Hsueh-Liang and General-Strategist Hanuman Zhang. A precocious, semi-feral female child of "undetermined-but-vaguely IndoEuroAsian heritage, approximately 9 years old" and her "little furry friend" - a chimpanzee named Ma-Lau Pang-Yau, liberated from an illegal East African animal research laboratory, who is surprisingly fluent in a mix-up of Chinese Sign Language and Gea-Mimo/World Sign-Language.

Intriguely, the girl who - upon learning to speak some Cantonese, Archaic Chinese, Sanskrit and Japanese words with the patient application of Montesorri-styled language studies and experimental FOXP2 gene therapy in the past 2 years - made up a wonderfully delightful polyglot, pidgin-like "big-name" for herself: _Lila Leng Yu-Yu Datsuzoku_ ("Lila-Leng Yu-Yu Goro-Goro" literally translated means: [divine play/whimsical creation]-[ beautiful/pretty] [music,joy-music,joy ="double joy"] [purr-purr]. She likes Yu-Yu as her "little-name")

Accompanied by the terrifying earth-shaking sounds of huge wooden war drums, bronze signal drums, dragon gongs and blaring Tibetan trumpets, General-Strategist Hanuman Zhang lit torches that were used by Cantonese and foreign soldiers to ignite the huge megatonne blocks built of paper funeral money.

General-Strategist Hanuman Zhang spoke in a harsh, growled battle-weary warrior-scholar's voice to both the gathered and live broadcast audience:

"On this Day of Vernal Equinox --- Printemps --- Fruhlings-Tagundnachtgleiche ... 01:00 Universal Time, 6 days after the Ides of March, in the Year of War 2003 Common Era, we now mourn the Dead of all Wars - past, present and future... with 8 dead minutes of Roaring Dead Silence."

*

Citizen-President Chang Hsueh-Liang then spoke:

"We pray and wish the Innocent Dead, the Innocent Dying and the Innocent Yet-To-Die the rapid transit to Enlightenment - Liberation from the Eternal Cycles of Suffering. "As for the Guilty . . . we can only hope that their painfully Hard, Long March from the Depths of Hell to eventual Enlightenment is worth their self-made Hell on Earth."

*

Chang Hsueh-Liang paused and then continued:

"Music is an emanation of the sentient heart and an image of the Cosmos... Good music shares the principles of the Tao - the ever-changing dynamic fluxus of opposites, Yin and Yang, the unity of Chaos and Order. "Great Music shares the Principles of Harmony with the Cosmos... through the Principle of Acoustic Phenomenon, Balance is restored in the Material World. The Object of Music has Intrinsic Value in Itself ... The Principles of Sentient and Wise Distinction enhances the functional Simplicity and Spontaneity of Taoist Music to create _non-emotive states-of-mind_, ...thus... we Higher Primates are enabled to offer sacrifices to Heaven and Earth."

While Yu-Yu played in a long, quiet, meditative improvised _ch'in_ (a classical Chinese fretless 7-string long zither) ritual-piece with Hanuman Zhang and famous ch'in recording artist Ms. Leng-ChiSin di Filippo, Ma-Lau Pang-Yau scampered and clambered through the Temple Hall lighting the bewildering coils of sandalwood incense with cinnabar-coloured candles gripped in one paw and one foot.

This continued till darkness fell and the gathered audience slowly filtered away. The last glowing embers of paper and incense blew into ashes upon the wind. Around midnight it began to drizzled and the Rites ended without any words needed to be said. A large bronze bell rang out beautifully before the swinging wooden ringer was secured with rope. Finally, the only sound left was that of gentle slow rain on ceramic roofs, metal and wooden drums, paper, rocks, sand and earth.[CH-HD-HZ]


BBC World News Service -- 21.03.2003 -- Autonomous Tao of Canton and Overseas Allies NEWSFLASH/EDITORIAL from the InfoWar Desk of Hugo Wolfgang Zang-Helbloem:

An equally steady trickle of Cantonese agent provocateurs, spies, covert operatives, commandos and partisans are escalating the skirmishes and raids well beyond the Canton-Hunan borders deep into the Hunan Empire Itself. Loyal mercenary units from Mongolia, Manchuria, Japan, South East Asia, Indonesia, Oceania, Polynesia, Nepal, India and Turkic lands all along the Silk Road have/are contributing - more or less - to a quick, decisive end to this utterly silly Hunanese military adventurism.

Volunteers and journalists from all over the world - some from as far away as the Northern New World of _Mei Gwok_ - have shown up _en masse_ and formed ad hoc brigades named after famous leaders of their countries. Hanuman Zhang, General-Strategist of the Autonomous Tao of Canton & Overseas Allies, has called for the recruitment, formation, training and deployment of a Cantonese Foreign Legion. When asked if all foreigners would be in this Legion, Zhang replied "no," that the "existing battle-tested mercenary units would continue as they have done in the past" and that the recent influx of unproven, idealistic volunteers could be - in battle - "a hindrance to the professional soldiers on our side and tragic waste of human lives" if they are not properly trained and equipped.

With his trademark wiley grin, Zhang added that he prefers that military _combat_ veterans volunteer, but that many other volunteers "can, could and would be useful in all sorts of non-combat support roles .... even dog-catching - we Cantonese gotta eat, damnit! - ... And sanitation... afterall, war can be unnecessarily messy... AiiiYaaaH! So many bloody bodies to dispose of!!! ... and we Cantonese are not cannibals if we can help it. Besides, I hear that Hunanese don't taste that great ... heard it first-hand - pardon the unfortunate pun - from some of my friends from Papua New Guinea and Maori Neu Zeeland."[CH-HD-HZ]


BBC Radio News Service -- 03.21.2003 -- Transcript #434301

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

I, Hanuman Zhang, relays the response of Citizen-President Chang Hsueh-Liang of the newly declared Autonomous Tao of Canton & Overseas Allies:

"We, the free citizens of the Autonomous Tao of Canton and Overseas Allies declare Resistance to the Hunan Empire's Occupation! And I, Chang Hsueh-Liang, must firmly remind the Hunan Emperor that in 'true' Chinese Philosophy, Culture and Civilization we Civilized Human Beings can _ not _ make 'claims' on The Land like some sort of eternal birthright of empires and nation-states - _a la_ "motherland", "fatherland", et cetra. In the Long View of Time and Cosmic Existence, The Land - the Earth, Gaia - claims _us_ all, we human beings being just another form of sentient animal on this planet. "This is the Tao of Heaven, Earth & All Sentient Life. To go to war against this Tao is to flirt with and court impending apocalypse like some sort of deviant necro-pedophile."

They say the President of Beihanguo says that he "condemns in the strongest possible terms this vicious act of agression by the dictatorial regime of Hunan", and that they will send aid and troops to Canton?

I ask if there are any "strings" or "clauses" (claws perhaps) attached, eh?

They say the King of Fujian, Taiwan and Hainan reacted with "appalment and horror" and said that he would "aid the Cantonese as soon as possible, with the approval of parliament, of course."

HA! I say it again: HA! We raise our eyebrows in great suspicion at this offer. You gotta be kidding! HA! Unfortunately, the Cantonese people have historical and socio-cultural reasons for mild-to-extreme prejudice against the Fujianese, Taiwanese and Hainanese that practically precludes any meaningful level of trust much less military aid from such crass humanoids. Currently, the Hunanese are "bad" enough and adding an even "worse element" would be a grievious, insulting assault to Cantonese existence and sensibilities, the Cantonese way of life.

They say that Hunan had a "surprisingly large force", and that without backup, Canton could possibly "buckle and fall".

We say [WICKED SOUNDING LAUGHTER]! So they say, eh? [LAUGHTER] ... [TRANSMISSION GARBLED, UNABLE TO CONTINUE] [END TRANSSCRIPT][CH-HD-HZ]


FujianNET News -- 21.03.2003

Military Engagements have been observed along the Canton-Hunanese border. The Cantonese government confirmed that Hunan had been the agressor, which was also confirmed by the Hunanese Emperor, His Highness Wang Zhenli. He said: "I, as the Emperor of Hunan and all China, have ordered a reclamation of Canton for our great empire. We will crush the resistance, and reclaim our rightful land."

The President of Beihanguo has said that he "condemns in the strongest possible terms this vicious act of agression by the dictatorial regime of Hunan", and has said that he will send aid and troops to Canton. The King of Fujian, Taiwan and Hainan also reacted with "appalment and horror" and said that he would "aid the Cantonese as soon as possible, with the approval of parliament, of course."

Observers noted that Hunan had a "surprisingly large force", and that without backup, Canton could possibly "buckle and fall". The Cantonese President made a small address to the nation today:

"The opressor approaches from the north, but we will stand in it's way. We will resist it's regime, and fight off its pawns. The people of Canton will never bow to a dictator such as Mr.Wang, and will repel the invasion." He recieved a round of applause, however, ther was certainly a tense atmosphere. The Cantonese are obviously very worried about this turn of events, and there has been a steady flow of refugees from Northern Canton.[JW]


BBC, ESCA, Kemr -- 21-03-2003 -- DIPLOMATIC SNAFU AVERTED -- ROYAL VISITOR TO ESCA WELCOMMED WITH ACCUSTOMED POMP.

The timely arrival of His Majesty King Rodry of Saern in the Armorican Islands seems to have derailed a certain diplomatic snafu for His Majestys Government in Casterleon. News broke at midweek that thirty so-called "Brythoniaid", who claim to be an oppressed Celtic minority in the Province, were holed up at the Armorican Embassy in Pluidudno pending an asylum hearing. A conciliatory message sent by the Rheithur for Dûnein was apparently reversed most shockingly by a curt missive from the Ministry of Justice, backed up thereafter by armoured cars which took up stations near the Embassy, apparently in an attempt to keep the thirty in place.

Most of the self styled repressed minority were exposed in the Rheithurs letter to be "louts and roustabouts" and that several had connexions with Chos Nustr. Indeed, they could barely express themselves in touristy Manouack - to say nothing of the Sabrinian they claimed to be speaking - and these were duly turned over to MOJ personnel for transport to appropriate destinations. So much for the hasty action of the Ministry, who, it seems, would have stormed the Embassy and made a mess of the situation.

*

On a positive note, King Rodry arrived at Esca last night to the welcome sounds of the Emperors Mighty Brass Band, and has been hosted by the new High King of Dumnonia in fine style. Gereint of Dumnonia is a well known Celtophile, a devotee of Cravethyck and seems to have made an impression upon his fellow royal by making his welcome speech first in Arvorec, then in Brithenig.

The two were closeted for the morning, though the High King was overheard to say that Kemrese, and especially Dumnonian, scholars are "stuffy old nags, the lot of them", and that Armorican scholars would be welcome to make surveys of the Severn region to determine once and for all the existence or extant of any Celtic languages in the region. The last such survey, of course, was St. Tinmans (S. Ystann, in Kerno) survey of the region sometime in the thirteenth century or thereabouts; and the Armorican scholars will be granted full priviledges to the original mansucripts. The pair were later seen ambling through the town and called upon the new Archdruid Cagwath. The matter of their meeting has not yet been published.

The High King has expressed dismay over this series of events, and has vowed to ensure that any such minorities as are discovered within the Province be treated with the same dignity and respect as all others. He said that it has greatly weighed upon him that fellow Dumnonians would feel so put upon that they felt compelled to consort with "murderers and other sundry ragamuffins" in order to make known their desires.[PB]


DAGAT CUZOT -- Jerusalem -- 21.03.2003 (17 Adar, 5763)

In a rare appearance before the international press, `Iraaqi president Saddam Hussayn declared an ultimatum at 07:00 local Baghdaad time against the neighboring state of Al-Basra. Since its secession in the aftermath of the Gulf War, the Ecotopic Arab Republic of Al-Basra has never been recognized by Hussayn's government. In his speech, Pres. Hussayn declared the Basris to be 'terrorists of the worst sort' and 'traitorous rebels', and gave the lugal of Al-Basra, Taliiq ibn Ash-Shams, 48 hours to fulfill his demands.

Pres. Hussayn's demands were:
1. the immediate cessation of all hostile Basri activities on `Iraaqi soil, whether government-supported or independent.
2. the surrender of a number of the original Basri revolutionaries to `Iraaqi authorities.
3. the complete re-integration of Al-Basra into `Iraaq.

The government of Al-Basra has not yet formally responded, but within hours after the ultimatum was given, ambassadors and delegates from countries around the region, including Kuwayt, Persia, the Hijaaz, and Syria were seen converging on the Garden of Creation, at the traditional site of the biblical Garden of Eden near Basra City. Reports unconfirmed at this time claim that diplomats from Oregon, Ireland, the NAL, and possibly other nations were spotted there as well.[SB]


BBC World News -- 21.03.2003 -- From Hanuman Zhang, comrade-citizen/general strategist of the radical, new glorious Autonomous Tao of Canton & Overseas Allies

Whether they maybe 7 or 23 or 9 million, the recently formed-&-declared Autonomous Tao of Canton & Overseas Allies openly, warmly, extends its moral & sociocultural support to these few - as well as other - oppressed native peoples living under the Occupation and Coercion of any and all Imperialistic Military Aggressors/Terroristic Criminals.

Though not as extensive as it could have been, unfortunate imperialist mistakes (in the past) of allowing runningdog criminal exploiters to peddle & deal in the wicked opium trade has been Canton's (and China's) form of similar occupation, oppression, genocide and culturicide. One could say that Canton has fought "the First War on Drugs."

All Power to Change, Chaos & the Imagination By Any Means Necessary, Possible & Imaginable![CH-HD-HZ]


ANC, PLUIDUDNO, Kemr -- 21.03.2003 -- KING RODRY VISITS "BRYTHONIAID"

Pluidudno -- This afternoon, his majesty King Rodry of Saern arrived in Pluidudno in a swift airship with several noted scholars from the University of Landrewan. Arwyra verch Dervael, secretary to the ambassador, confided that the ambassador had recieved a rather curt telegram from the King at dawn today, ending with the phrase "let's sort this bloody mess out, shall we?".

After listening to recordings of the asylum seekers' speech, the scholars (Drs Alyn ap Hywel, Ethar ap Lydon and Cynwen verch Aemen) concluded that twenty-three of them were not speaking an unrecorded Brythonic language but, as Dr verch Aemen said, "very bad Manwec, culled from a tourist phrase book". Seven of them however, who had been particularly non-vocal about their demands, were found to be speaking something quite different. What, exactly, they were speaking has not been recorded, but these seven returned to the Isles with the three Doctors only an hour ago.

After conferring by telephone with King Gereint of Dumnonia, King Rodry exercised rarely-used constitutional powers and rescinded the application for asylum of the remaining twenty-three and turned them over to the Gendarmes of Pluidudno for questioning.

Tomorrow night, Ambassador ap Dywgarth will be hosting an official dinner for the local dignitaries of Pluidudno, Canyw and the Canyw Valley and several noted Arvorec expatriates. After that, the King will be making his way to Castreleon to visit his brother King Costenin and thence to Esca, to confer with the new high druid Cagwath ab Aewdreth and King Gereint of Dumnonia.[DJ]


BBC, Esca -- 20.03.2003 -- From the Office of the High King at Esca of the Dumnonii:

It being the 19th day of Ogronio in the 2756th year since the founding of The Eternal City; Gerontius ix ill Lupus being king under the August Constantinos xi:

To my Brother Kings Caractacus of Caesaria and Rodricus of Sarnia, beloved of the Gods, most puissant and noble Monarchs; AND to the Most Honourable Ambassador of the Confederated Kingdoms of the Armorican Islands to Ill Terruin, Master of the ancient and noble Principality of Cambria, Mr Dewrad ap Dywgarth;

GREETINGS and FELICITATIONS:

This most distressing matter of the supposed Celts that inhabit the regions of Western Dumnonia, in that land that hight the Dartenmoor has caused within me and within our Government much distress, as several other Governments and Organisations have pressed us for redress of perceived wrongs against these People claiming Assylum within the bosom of the Armorican Islands; and at first we must humbly appologise to Your Majesties and Thy Honour for the righteous Concern ye have shown in this matter, not having heard the full tale of the doings of these self styled "Brythoniaid".

IN AS MUCH AS they presented unto Your hearing their tale of woe at the hands of the Agents of the Government of our noble Province, and at the hands of Certain Others that inhabit the land, let now be heard the other cock, as we say, meaning that both sides of the matter must be aired, and only then should Action be considered.

It is well known by the Gendarmarie of the Province who the membership of this group is and what philosophies they represent. If they have not given Thy Honour false names, Thou shall find that the leader of y Vrithoniad, one Marcus Matalupi (also known as Daenal ap Caradoc) is wanted by both local and national Authorities on several warrants ranging from theft and destruction of property to kidnapping; and his second in command, one Sylvia Fferar, is also wanted for Questionning in the murders of three local farmers of the Dartenmoor. The others, though not as notorious, are in general considered by the local Gendarmarie to be Louts and Roustabouts the lot of them, preferring to terrorise the neighbourhood rather than secure for themselves gainful Occupations. Matalupi and Fferar have been intimately linked with several agitation groups within the Province, which have at one time or another been linked with antigovernment activities - notably the recent attempt on the very Life of our beloved Ill Terruin, and no fewer than three coup d' etat attempts.

As to the notion that they are Celtic speakers in the western regions of our Province, it must be noted that the best scholarship has placed the lamentable death of the Severn language, cousin to your own noble Tongue, some seven centuries in the past. There have been some evidences of a Celtic language spoken in the Kingdom Durow, but that seems to be a scion of Arvorec, not a descendant of Brythonic.

As for their baseless Charges of Opression, it is the Opinion of our Government that they bloody well deserve such "oppression" as has been heaped on them. Your Majesties are certainly aware of the need for Governments to maintain order and to suppress the deeds of Lawbreakers; it is so considered Meet in our Government also; and in as much as the Dartenmoor is largely empty wastrel, it is often difficult for the Gendarmarie to locate and haul up before the Justinian such and sundry crafty Scoundrels as may hide there. There is also the pointed matter of the Means and Methods y Vrythoniad have chosen to secure for themselves the Recognition and Justice they pretend to demand. Let it not be said the High King of Dumnonia suffers the least of his fellow countrimen to live and labour under Oppression of any kind from any level of Government. Long has our Government striven to improve the lot of native Romans as well as immigrants from every Continent within the great Principality of Cambria. Had these Slackards chosen to approach our Senate or Council - nay, had these Cads even a righteous Cause to bring before our Government! - all legitimate avenues would be pursued in ammending their perceived injustices.

As for the Claims that the Organisation that hight Chos Nustr "torched a village" of these so called Brythoniad, it should come as no surprise to Your Majesties and Thy Honour that such an attaque has been prosecuted. It is well known that no fewer than eight of the thirty (notably Roman Fferar, Constantinos Castramilès and Constantinos Spazalonga) have all at one time or another had intimate connexions with that Organisation. And what is more, Spazalonga was for several years Don of an active Chos Nustr cell in the region of Sorbadunon. It seems to us that this incident was no more than some kind of turf or gang squabble.

WHEREAS these thirty people, though Roman Citizens by birth within the Principality of Cambria, have represented unto Thy Honour the Cause which Thou has forwarded to me; and whereas they have therefore thrown themselves down before Your Terrible Majesties and have placed themselves within Your Mercy and Power; be it known that their Cause in UNJUST and their Actions an ABUSE of the Right to Assylum our respective Nations repsect. THEREFORE, as we seek no ill will with you our brothers and neighbours, our Government commends them to Your Power to do with as Ye see fit: if Ye would allow them entrance into the Confederated Kingdoms of the Armorican Islands, for our part the Kingdom of Dumnonia conjoined by the Tinners Senate and the Council of the Twelve Kings will not hinder their emmigration, and they will henceforth be no longer known as Citizens; if Ye would haul them up before our Justinians, they shall be PROSECUTED with all due Vigour and shall receive the right Justice they deserve according to our Laws and Customs. The matter rests with Your Majesties conjoined with Your Government and Your honourable Ambassador.

Signed the morning of the 19th day of Ogronio: Your Humble Servant, GER. ix R:D[PB]


BBC, Castreleon -- 19.03.2003

FROM: Office of the Justiciar, at Castreleon
TO: Office of the Ambassador of the Confederated Kingdoms of the Armorican Islands, at Pluidudno
RE: LLO FRITHONIEID

It is the General Position of the High Senate at Castreleon that the Government not involve itself in the internal affairs of the Province of Dûnein. As such, there is no official position vis a vis the thirty persons claiming assylum at your Offices. However, one of that number, a Mme Sylvia Fferar, is wanted by the Provincial Constabulary in the matter of the Murders of three local men, Gouilliame Longshanck, Lucas Castramilès and Lucas Tramethyck of the Dartenmoor region of the Province of Dûnein. Therefore, this Office must demand the immediate detention of said Mme Fferar and the extradiction of same to the Gendarmarie House at Isca in the Province for questionning or prosecution as is seen fit. Furthermore, the other twenty nine seem to be involved in a variety of nefarious activities and must be detained for questionning.

At your convenience, we shall arrange for their transferrence to a secured Facility; therefore, we shall send an armoured car later the week to retreive them from your custody.

Signed: Const. Llewes, Esq.[PB]


BBC World News Service -- 19.03.2003 -- From the Wire

The Governor of Hetvotjeng has reacted with apallment at this news regarding the mistreatment of the Brythoniaid, and expresses the hope that, if the refugees are genuine, their desires will be respected and their wishes respected. He also has called for the British governments to crack down on Cos Nustr and its violent activities. He has expressed deep regret at any opression suffered.[JW]


ANC, PLUIDUDNO, Kemr -- 18.03.2003 -- "BRYTHONIAID" CLAIM ASYLUM!

Pluidudno -- In a shocking dawn revalation, the Arvorec Ambassador to Cambria, Dewrad ap Dywgarth has announced that the government of the Armorican Isles has accepted the application for asylum of a hitherto unknown group calling themselves "Brythoniaid".

A group of thirty arrived in secret yesterday at the Arvorec Embassy in Ystrad Fostyn, Pluidudno and asked for a personal interview with Mr ap Dywgarth. Here they claimed to be the representatives of Celtic-speaking peoples living secretively in Cambria's southern provinces. This group has been said to exist for many years now, but has always been dismissed as nothing more than a rumour by Cambrian and Armorican governments.

Citing years of opression by who they call "rhefanes diwerians" [.i. degenerate Romans] as cause for their emergence from secrecy, the Brythoniaid have demanded that both the provincial and national governments recognise their rights as a seperate people and indeed their very existence.

Apparently, the last straw came when a group of vigilantes linked to the CN torched a small village of Brythoniaid in Dartmoor a fortnight ago. The incident went unrecorded in the press.

The Cambrian government has so far declined to comment.[DJ]


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