News From Ill Bethisad in 2005

This just in! ...

News stories run from most recent to oldest.

All news stories are submitted by participants in Ill Bethisad, all of whom are welcome to submit stories from their respective parts of Ill Bethisad. Submissions may be edited for clarity, language or style.

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Asahi Ximbun -- 21.DEC.2005 (Gacudai 2, Jùitxigaçu 25) -- Princess Aquico to Wed

Quiòto -- The Imperial Household Ministry announced on Taian [December 20] that Her Imperial Majesty had granted consent to the engagement of Princess Aquico of Micasa, the eldest daughter of Prince Tomohito of Micasa, and great-granddaughter of Emperor Taixò, to Antoine II Bourbon-Le Moyne, Dauphin of France and Louisianne. The wedding is tentatively scheduled for early Xitxigaçu [early August] next year.

The Emperor had met with Louis-Antoine, the father of the groom, and with Prince Tomohito, along with the young couple, to discuss the wedding plans and the implications for both families. It is reported that the meeting was brief, as neither of the parties had any objections. According to a press release, all agreed that it should be considered a private matter between the young couple, and will imply no obligations upon the Imperial House or the Japanese Empire to support the Bourbon-Le Moyne claims.

After the marriage, Princess Aquico will, according to Imperial Household Law, leave the Imperial House and become Aquico Bourbon-Le Moyne.[NT]

Asahi Ximbun -- 21.DEC.2005 (Gacudai 2, Jùitxigaçu 25 -- Princess Aquico to Wed

Quiòto -- The Imperial Household Ministry announced on Taian [20 December] that Her Imperial Majesty had granted consent to the engagement of Princess Aquico of Micasa, the eldest daughter of Prince Tomohito of Micasa, and great-granddaughter of Emperor Taixò, to Antoine II Bourbon-Le Moyne, Dauphin of France and Louisianne. The wedding is tentatively scheduled for early Xitxigaçu [early August] of next year.

The Emperor had met with Louis-Antoine, the father of the groom, and with Prince Tomohito, along with the young couple, to discuss the wedding plans and the implications for both families. It is reported that the meeting was brief, as neither of the parties had any objections. According to a press release, all agreed that it should be considered a private matter between the young couple, and will imply no obligations upon the Imperial House or the Japanese Empire to support the Bourbon-Le Moyne claims.

After the marriage, Princess Aquico will, according to Imperial Household Law, leave the Imperial House and become Aquico Bourbon-Le Moyne.[NT]

IBAP -- 13.DEC.2005 -- First President Responds to Violence

Paris-sur-Mizouri, Osage, LA -- In a press release today, Jean-François Young ordered all Louisiannan refugees forcibly brought to Louisiannan soil, offering to have a Louisiannan military escort aid in the transfer of the refugees. “I apologize to all affected families, and especially to the citizens of Meadville. It sickens me that our people would commit such an atrocity.” Plans have been submitted to the NAL Parliament for complete repatriation of Louisiannan refugees by the end of the year. It is expected that Louisianne will make restitution to Mobile for these wrongs. Speaking further, President Young stated, “I have been in communication with General-Moderator Gore and have willingly agreed to allow any Louisiannan involved in this horror to be treated as any NAL citizen, tried by a NAL jury and punished according to the laws of the League.”[DH]


MEADVILLE, Mobile, NAL -- Fighting and mob violence broke out today in the large refugee encampment outside of Meadville , Mobile . Nearly 1,000 are dead and injured at this time with a continuing body count to ascertain the total number of dead and wounded.

The NAL Home Guard was called out to subdue the rioters, but not before massive damage was done to the village’s centre. Of the 520 native residents, nearly 150 were assaulted, and at present count 25 are dead.

From present estimates, it is likely that the village is irreparably destroyed and will most likely become a ghost town. Because of the violence of the assault and mob violence against NAL citizens, the Home Guard are now preparing the refugees for expulsion to Louisianne.

Louisiannan officials have strongly agreed to this, and have pledged a willingness to extradition for all involved in the violence against this sleepy mobilian town.[DH]

IBAP -- 11.DEC.2005 -- Refugee Riots in Mobile

MEADVILLE, Mobile, NAL -- Fighting and mob violence broke out today in the large refugee encampment outside of Meadville, Mobile. Nearly 1,000 are dead and injured at this time with a continuing body count to ascertain the total number of dead and wounded.

The NAL Home Guard was called out to subdue the rioters, but not before massive damage was done to the village’s centre. Of the 520 native residents, nearly 150 were assaulted, and at present count 25 are dead.

From present estimates, it is likely that the village is irreparably destroyed and will most likely become a ghost town. Because of the violence of the assault and mob violence against NAL citizens, the Home Guard are now preparing the refugees for expulsion to Louisianne.

Louisiannan officials have strongly agreed to this, and have pledged a willingness to extradition for all involved in the violence against this sleepy mobilian town.[DH]

National News Corporation wire servive –- 10.12.2005 -- World Trade Towers Mystery Solved?

Philadelphia -- The office of the Special Prosecutor Rudolf Johanssen issued its report to Parliament regarding the airship attack on New Amsterdam's World Trade Towers which cost over a thousand lives and resulted in millions of pounds worth of damage. Authorized by General Moderator Albert Gore in the wake of rampant speculation about the perpetrators of the attack, the Special Prosecutor's Office has maintained very high security while working in tandem with the Ministry of Justice and the Central Bureau of Investigation.

Johanssen read from the report's précis in a news conference, but declined to answer further questions.

The report cited two areas of criminal activity regards the attack. First was the hijacking of commercial dirigibles out of Boston Aerodrome. This, the report concluded, was the work of a cult-like religious group calling itself The Janus Fellowship (after the zodiacal sign, Janus the Twin). Said Fellowship originally formed around Jesse Garon Pressler, twin brother of rock superstar Elvis Pressler, as a group dedicated to the idea of twins and duality. It later became far more insular and exotic under the leadership of alternate history writer L.Don Hobarth. The motive for the attacks, according the report, was an attempt to achieve enlightenment via a meaningful death. Hobarth, who has since vanished from public view and is believed to have died, insisted that a parallel world existed with which he was in periodic contact and that union with this parallel world was the means to transcending physical existence. He claimed to have learned of some kind of an attack on the east coast of the North American continent in this other Earth, and his followers were attempting to recreate that event.

National warrants have been issued for Hobarth and several of his closest associates as well as dozens of Janus Fellowship members.

The second criminal activity, the Special Prosecutor's report noted, was in the construction of the World Commerce Centre itself. Engineering studies, noted Johanssen, clearly indicated substandard construction techniques went into the building of the Towers, especially in their upper stories. Apart from those violations of the building codes of New Amsterdam and New Castreleon, Johanssen noted that these facts make the collection of insurance by the original owners of the building guilty of fraud. This matter, however, falls under the jurisdiction of the provincial courts and the evidence is being turned over to the Crown Prosecutor's Office in New Amsterdam.

Johanssen declined to answer questions afterwards, so it is unknown at this time whether among those implicated would be George Bush Sr., one of the original investors in the World Trade Towers and around whose involvement speculation has been rampant. Bush is the father of deposed Florida-Caribbean leader Jaime Bush and of executed former Tejas dictator Jorge Bush (nee George Bush Jr.).

The Janus Fellowship has been the center of numerous rumors for the past quarter-century, although its members have included several entertainment celebrities. Most of its literature focuses on the study of duality and how that has been seen in terms of twins. The Fellowship has claimed, for example, that several figures in history (such as Thomas Jefferson and Richard III of England) were in fact twins masquerading as single individuals. In 1989 the group caused considerable uproar when it attempted to purchase the entire town of Roswell, Jacobia. The attempt failed, and the reasons for it remain something of a mystery.[DZ]

STAR OF GEORGETOWN -- 09.12.2005 -- Shake Down of Senate turns into Shake Up in Philadelphia

GEORGETOWN -- The so called "Watergap Scandal" that threatened Mr Gore's reputation and job, to say nothing of the credibility of the nation this August last exploded in October when Mr. J. S. Bachman, a.k.a. "Sore Throat" who had furnished a series of audio tapes to the Inquirer of Philadelphia reporters Jack Silver Crow and Lance Prevallet came forward to tell the truth of the matter. "I just couldn't live with myself to see Mr Gore plummet that way. I mean, I does voices to make folks laugh, not to bring down governments!"

The results as of this morning's tally announced by the GM's investigating commission are startling in their effect. Thus far, seven senators (all Progressive-Conservatives) have been named (from Massacheussets, New Castreleon, Pennsylvaania, Virginia (both senators), Tenisi and Mobile have been discovered to be co-conspirators as well as three MPs from Pennsylvaania and one from Mobile as well as two undisclosed but rather high ranking officials from the Louisianan embassy. Several aides and high level ministers at P-C party headquarters were named in suits alleging gross misconduct in misrepresenting the facts of the GM's actions during the recent war. Charges ranging from conspiracy to treason are to be laid against the participants, and the Court is set to hear the case early next year. "Sore Throat" Mr. Bachman received a special citation for speaking out the truth of the matter. It has come to our attention at the Star that several prominent publishing houses are seeking to commit Mr Bachman to book deals.

Political commentator H. Ross Lambaugh of ABC radio stunned his audience yesterday with the following statement: "The events of that last few months have clearly spelled the demise of the Progressive-Conservative party in this North American League, and have certainly destroyed what might have otherwise been a very strong chance at regaining the General Moderatorship in 2010. My fellow Americans, what I am about to say will shock the knickers off of many of you. While I consider myself an American and a conservative first, I have long prided myself on my affiliation with the P-C. However, having thought long and hard about the recent turn of events, I have no choice but to renounce my personal connexions with that party. Of course, I shall remain your devoted conservative servant, and shall continue to strive for the day the Whigs are cast out of Philadelphia on their keisters, but in the NAL, a nation of laws, we must do things the right way. The P-C have shown to what depths a party in desperation to seek power can stoop, and I can not personally align myself with such a party." [PB]

From L'Étoile de Lyons-sur-Mizouri -- 07.12.2005 -- Togan Currency Found to be Debased, Throne in Danger

Tests have found that Toga's mint has been debasing its silver coinage, with the siligi (shilling) having an intrinsic value of only 9.3d, and other coins debased by a similar proportion. Further revelations have come out that the Bank of Toga lacks sufficient silver reserves to back its banknotes.

Combined with revelations of the king falling for yet another get-rich-quick scheme, protests which have been raging around the small kingdom have taken a more radical turn, with open calls for the abdication of King Taufa'ahau Tupou V, with some calling for the end of the Tupou Dynasty, and the establishment of either a republic or a personal union with one of the British monarchs, or a new native dynasty. Others wish to see one of the princes of the royal family taking the throne.[NT]

DANDY Magazine -- 1.DEC.2005 (Winter 2006 edition)

In this issue, we interview best-selling novelist V.A.Howard and Hadrian Voermann, noted American film director currently at the helm of the new motion picture adaptation of LORD OF THE RINGS.

VH: We meet at last!
HV: At last, yes. You know, I was actually up for directing one of your novels. Pushed hard for it, as a matter of fact.
VH: Oh? Which one?
HV: "Wingless Angels" the one about the castrati singers.
VH: What happened?
HV: Damned if I know. Studio politics maybe. Something. (shrugs) Water under the bridge.
VH: And now you're going to do "Lord of the Rings."
HV: Yeah. That should get me burned in effigy. I hope so, anyway. VH: You hope so?
HV: If people don't care about what you're doing, if they don't get riled up, what's the point? Don't know about you but I could just as easily be selling real estate and commodities or be a really top-notch dentist somewhere.
VH: I'm fantasized about being a therapist.
HV: There you are, then. But you're an artist instead.
VH: Exactly.
HV: Why?
VH: That is what engaged my thoughts and heart.
HV: Exactly. Exactly. And when you're doing that, you reach out to people. But you don't want them to just pat you on the head and say "good boy, here's a cookie."
VH: I quite like cookies.
HV: (laughs) So do I. But I'm a grown up, or so they say. I can go out and buy me own cookies. What I want from others, what I'm trying to get from them in my movies, I want them to react. To get stirred up.
VH: To be changed.
HV: The name of the game, after all. You stand still long enough, you die.
VH: Good point.
HV: Thanks.
VH: So—and this has got to be occurring to every single Tolkien fan reading this—are you planning on deliberately upsetting loyal readers of these books? Because that is something of the impression I'm getting.
HV: Not deliberately. I'm not going in to work each day saying to meself "Oh, how can I stick it to those Tolkien people this morning" nothing like that. But…there's no real way to do the books justice without upsetting some fans. Not all. But some. The books are too big, for one thing. Way too big. It'd be like climbing Mount Everest naked to try and make this as trilogy and I'm not making a trilogy. The studio won't go for it. We're making two movies. Not three. And that means cuts.
VH: A lot of cuts?
HV: Well, yeah. Can't be helped. Like Tom Bombadil. Great character. Loved that chapter. Full of just juicy, wonderful bits. Gotta go. Sorry.
VH: That's going to cause disappointment.
HV: Sorry.
VH: Are you?
HV: About that, definitely. But there's no room. I've got maybe six hours to fill up and there's just not enough in that whole bit to justify keeping it there. Gotta go. You see…well, you probably already know…a book and movie are just very different things. You can set your own pace with a book. John might read "Lord of the Rings" in a couple of weeks. His twin brother might take a year. And they both might like the book exactly as much. Or as little. The point is, they set the pace. Not with movies. With movies, I set the pace. And I have to keep in mind you can only sit down so long without needing to go to the toilet.
VH: But you can't take the movie with you.
HV: No you can't! So you've got to streamline things. Got to. Some characters have to go. Others are combined. The beats and rhythms of the story need to be worked out all over again.
VH: You don't have to sell me.
HV: Well, maybe one I'll have to.
VH: Okay. We can hope! But I'll bet any amount of money that what readers really want to know are specifics. What specific changes are you making for the films?
HV: (pause) They're not all worked out yet.
VH: (laughing) How very coy!
HV: No, really, the whole process… (pause) We're cutting one of the Fellowship. I am. I'm omitting a character who is, in the book, an actual member of the Fellowship. Gone. No longer there. And one of the really major locations that everyone talks about is also gone. Cut.
VH: I can hear maybe a mob putting together that figure in effigy even now.
HV: Good. Actually, I feel like this enormous tease telling you that. Truth to tell, I don't think the professor…Sir John I should say…would be at all pleased. He'd very likely be quite unhappy with me. Quite, quite unhappy. Which is too bad but I'm the one in charge so I've got to do what I think works best for the film and story. He wrote the book. I'm not touching that. It exists and nothing any of us can do can whittle away one atom of what the book is, which is brilliant. But the movie has to stand on its own. It can't depend on anyone having read the book. Should that happen, the movie is a failure.
VH: Makes sense.
HV: Glad you think so. Would you mind telling the hordes of Tolkien fans that.
VH: I don't think it'll do any good.
HV: Probably not.
VH: So when you say someone in the Fellowship has been cut…
HV: Replaced, really. With another character who needed to be more central to the action. (pause)
VH: Are you going to say any more?
HV: Not about that. (laughs)
VH: And the location you're cutting?
HV: Rivendell.
VH: Rivendell! Wow.
HV: That was actually an easy choice to make. Given that we have only two films, then we needed to streamline as much as we could. One of those streamlinings was the glimpses we see of peoples and races who don't really take that much part in the main story. Specifically, the elves.
VH: But they're vital!
HV: Yes. But they don't do much. Most of their important bits happened before this story even begins. So rather than take this thematic detour…no, not detour. More like an oasis. Rather than visit two more-or-less same oases in the tension-filled landscape that is Middle Earth, our film…my film…has the Fellowship only visit one Elvish land. In this case, Lothlorien. I had to cut one of them, and frankly Rivendell seemed the less exotic. The less meaningful in terms of what the story is all about.
VH: So you're doing away with the Council of Elrond?
HV: No, no. Not at all. Relocating it.
VH: Into Lothlorien?
HV: Pretty much.
VH: So what other changes have you decided upon?
HV: Decided upon? Nothing major. Not yet. A lot of things are still getting worked out with the studio, because they have to pay for it after all. My own view is that you've the material, right? But it has to be changed just because a book isn't a film. So those are the changes you have to make. Then you've got the changes you're really forced into but would rather not do. I mean, you can't afford to hire ten thousand extras and make them all up like goblins. Or put suits of armor on them. Just not possible. So we do tricks and things to get around that. But that's also where you get into negotiations with the money people. Some things—details really—would end up costing a fair amount. So, understandably, they'd like to see as many as feasible of the pricey details go bye. Me, I'd like to keep them all. So we go back and forth. Well, for example—stock footage. Studios love stock footage. You can see why. I don't want to use any. But if I do, it'll save thousands and thousand of pounds and the money people like hearing that. So one of my jobs is to go through the stuff that hasn't been used much, or sometimes at all. Any footage like that I can use, I will. And that way, the studio lets me budget pointed ears for the elves and hobbits. Stuff like that.
VH; Since you've started on the business side of the production.
HV: (laughs) For my sins.
VH: (laughs) Why are you filming in Oregon? That's one of the first questions that came to my mind when news of the movies came up.
HV: There wasn't anything preordained about that. It was just logistics. You need lots of open area, woodlands and plains and mountains, right? And you need it out of sight, or enough out of sight, of any signs of human habitation. So Europe is right out from day one. So is a lot of America, to be honest. Now there are places that'd be great. The Ukraine, for one. But everyone would rather film somewhere a bit more stable politically. I've been to Aotearoa and let me say that would have been great. But its something like ten thousand miles away from the corporate headquarters and all their experts and equipment. It really came down to either Ontario or Oregon—and frankly Oregon sweetened the pot.
VH: Really?
HV: Oh yes. Tolkien is very popular there and the local politicos really wanted that coup under their belts. All the fees for permits got waived, for one. We're getting a discount on our utilities. They're giving a tax break to any local business that works on the project, and let me tell you that makes things tons easier right there. And of course they're thrilled to have the extra income.
VH: Plus they somewhat used to having film productions there.
HV: I know some television programs are filmed there. Abyss, am I right?
VH: Yes. And some others.
HV: Plus some other movies. Yeah, it's a good deal all round.[DZ]

BBC World News Service -- 30.NOV.2005 -- New French Language News Agency Sets out to Rival BBC, IBAP

PARIS -- In an announcement at Paris today, Communication Minister Renaud Donnedieu de Vabres announced the signing of a contract by public and private stations around the french speaking world to create a new news agency to rival the BBC and IBAP.

Canal Français Informations International or CFII would be set to launch in January of 2006. Agencies that are known to have signed up are the TéléLouisianne group, and negotiations with Omnipresse from New Francy are still ongoing.

This new broadcaster is intended to serve as a platform to counter the Francophone perception of prevailing Commonwealth view of world affairs. This was especially noted during the Florida War of 2004, where reports of the war were largely handled by the BBC and Rikets Radio & Television.

When concern was raised in the halls of parliament as to the chances of success for the CFII in the fast-paced global TV news sector, the French culture minister, Alastaire Pernet was quick to say: "We have to enter the fray, and quickly so. Let us not abandon hope."[DH]

Journal of the Visual Arts -- 29.11.2005 -- Lord of the Rings Project Unveiled

Atlanta, Jacobia (NAL) -- Amid great fanfare, executives at Metropolitan Moving Pictures announced that director Hadrian Voermann has been giving the go-ahead to make two motion pictures based on the classic fantasy novel "Lord of the Rings" by Sir John R.R.Tolkien.

Voermann is a veteran filmmaker who once before attempted to make a big-budget fantasy epic, titled "Mythos" but which never left the development stage. His previous movies include a wide range of hits and misses, including the science fiction "Glaive Runner," the explicit noir thriller "Instincts Basic," the feminist road picture "Louise and Thelma" and the almost hallucinatory "The Sapphire Forest." He has also adapted novels to screen before, most famously "Lotilda" based on the scandalous work by Vlad Nabokhev. His most recent film was "Not Faithful," a drama about adultery.

According to studio spokesmen, the preproduction of "Fellowship of the Ring" has already commenced, with casting expected to be finished within the next three months. Filming is scheduled to begin this summer on location in Oregon.[DZ]

L'Étoille de Lyon-sur-Mizuori -- 29.11.2005 -- Empire of Japan Adopts New Flag

Quiòto - The Imperial Parliament passed a bill adopting a new flag for the Empire of Japan, the former flag having been devolved upon the recently-created Kingdom of Yamato, which consists of the historic homeland of the Japanese Empire. The new flag combines elements from the historic "Rising Sun" flag of Japan with elements from the flags of Corea, Lùquiù, and Ezo.

The flag has, at its center, a mostly-red circle, with yellow and blue "commas", combining the _mon_ of Lùquiù (three "commas", of red, yellow, and blue) with the simple red circle of the Japanese flag. Surrounding this central _mon_ are the 8 hexagrams from the Corean flag. Finally, the field itself is dark blue, representing Ezo's flag, which is a red-on-white 7-pointed star on a dark blue field. It is nearly identical to the flag of the largely defunct East Asian Federation (founded in 1912, superseded in 1920), with the exception that the latter had a white field, Ezo having not been a distinct entity at the time.[NT]

Numismatic News -- 22.11.2005 -- Cò to be Redesigned

Òsaca -- The Imperial Mint today have announced that beginning next year, the cò would be redesigned to address complaints stemming from the use of the late Prince Hiro's image on the coin. The new design will have the standard chrysanthemum crest and "2 fun" in kanji on the obverse, and a stalk of rice, borrowed from the former quarter-momme, along with the Romàdji "2 Fun", on the reverse.[NT]

BBC World News Service -- 18.11.2005 -- The RTC in Brief

DANZIG -- The referendum about political unification of Galicia and Volhynia did indeed take place on 25 November, 2004, in an atmosphere of violence, intimidation and fraud. Nevertheless, the plebiscite ended in a huge majority for unification at both ends. However, the Lithuanian regime reactie oppressively, and the decisions taken by the people still haven't been implemented yet.

As a result of the government's inability to act and react, the UNDO, the party of the Ukrainian minority and one of the major parties of the RTC, finally withdrew from it in December. Chancellor Sacz remained in office at the head of a minority government, contantly supported by changing majorities. It was unable to do much about the situation, even more so than it had been previously.

In these circumstances, the Volhynian-Galician problem and the situation in Southeast Florida lingered on. The fact that this minority government never fell and was not forced to organise new elections can be considered one of those true miracles that only the RTC seems to be able to produce.

Last April, seven rightist parties in Veneda, as well as fourteen other political and social organisations formed a new political bloc, the so-called "ŻŻŻ". It became a loose confederation of very different parties, most but not all of them conservative in signature.

On September 25, elections for the Sejm took place. They ended in a huge victory for the ŻŻŻ, as well for the right-conservative agricultural party WPP. Talks for the formation of a new government are still going an, and a new government is soon to be expected. In the meantime, the demissionary government of chancellor Jan Sacz is still acting. It is unknown who the new chancellor will be. Powerful candidates seem to be former general Marek Aldendorf, bank president Alfred Swiss-Oberg, and ZZZ leader Leoń Janaczyny.[JvS]

BBC World News Service -- 15.11.2005 -- Princess Weds Commoner

Quiòto -- Princess Noli-no-miya Sayaco, only daughter of the Retired Emperor and aunt of the present Emperor, married her fiancée, Curoda Itxirò, in a low-key ceremony on Djùgaçu 18 [14 November]. The wedding itself took place at the Imperial Hotel in Quiòto. It marks the first time that an Imperial daughter married a commoner with no Imperial or noble ties. The ceremony was attended by numerous members of the Imperial Family, including Her Imperial Majesty and the Retired Emperor, and several close relatives of the groom. By marrying a commoner, Sayaco lost her Imperial Status, and was granted a lump sum payment of 25,000 lò [FK£50,000].

The Emperor bestowed upon the former Princess the new title of Countess Noli, and both bride and groom have adopted the surname Noli, derived from her former Imperial title.

The wedding reception was held at 1200, and was attended by over 120 guests. It was the first time that an Emperor had attended the wedding reception of a princess, according to the Imperial Household Agency.[NT]


HOBART -- There is growing sentiment in Van Diemans Land to secede from Australasia and to become part of the Scandinavian Realm.

This follows the the marriage of one of their own citizens, Mary Elizabeth Donaldson, now Crown Princess Marie Lisbeth, to Crown Prince Frederik of the Scandinavian Realm, and the recent birth of the couple's child.

Van Dieman's Land is a territory of the Australasian province of Guereintia, a Kemrese dependency.

However, Crown Princess Mary and her newborn child are increasingly seen as more closely connected with Van Diemans Land than the Kemrese monarchy itself.

The Scandinavian Royal couple has made more visits to Van Diemans land than any of the Kemrese royals.

Rob Newitt, leader of the Van Diemans Land Party (VDLP), has said, "Crown Princess Mary and her child are Van Diemanlanders, she is one of us, and her child will be our king".

The VDLP claims that Van Diemans Land has not advanced nor has it recieved as much attention as mainland Guerentia, is virtually ignored by the Kemrese monarchy, and has had its sovereignty eroded to the point where it no longer controls its forest, fisheries, mineral wealth, and agriculture.

SR chancellor, Åke Ovesen Høgh-Guldberg, has remarked, "that it is too early to tell whether this is just a temporary phase due to the Crown Princess's current popularity or a genuine sentiment."

The VDLP is predicted to win in the next election.[KJ]


COPENHAGEN -- The Realm's Crown Prince Frederik and his Australasian born wife, Crown Princess Marie Lisbeth (of Van Diemen's Land), have had a baby prince.

The child, tipped to be called Christian in line with royal tradition, becomes second in line to the throne.

A 21-gun salute boomed from the old fortress at midday throughout the Realm to mark the birth. Bonfires will later be lit along the beaches and fjords.

Scandinavian Chancellor Åke Ovesen Høgh-Guldberg has offered his congratulations to the royal couple, as has the Australasian Prime Minister.

Their newly-born son is likely to be named Christian, in keeping with Oldenburg royal tradition that decrees all kings are either named Christian or Frederik.

The baby was born early on Saturday morning, 01:57 PMT, at the Copenhagen University Hospital, and weighed 7 lb 11 uc SI, the royal palace said.[KJ]

STAR OF GEORGETOWN -- 17.10.2005 -- Parliaments Knickers in a Twist, Dance Master Gore Has Them Chacing Their Tails!

Georgetown -- The present Scandal brewing in the City of Fraternal Love took a new twist Friday last as the High Court's commission revealed that the true scandal is not GM Gore's alleged involvement in the ouster of President J. Bush of the erstwhile Republic of Florida-Caribbea, but in stead revolves around the audio tapes purported to have been recordings of the General Moderator hatching the coup plot with certain southern Lords Governors. On Friday last, a veritable bomb was dropped as the one dubbed "Sore Throat" -- one Jospeh S. Bachman of Harrisburg, Penna. -- stepped forward, apparently suffering from a guilty conscience at watching the embattled GM's fortunes and public confidence at first waver then plummet like a sinking airship. According to Crawford, a local commedian who as it turns out is renown in the club-and-pub circuit as a master "voice man" or impressionist, he was approached after performing in Philadelphia last April by two men who introduced themselves as "political satirists". They engaged his services in what they represented as a spoof of GM Gore ordering the ouster or assassination of President Bush of Florida, in order to use in their own daytime conservative oriented radio talk show. It turns out, however, that this was a ruse perpetrated by long time senators Franklin (P-C Massacheusets) and Lewis (P-C New Castreleon) at the behest of party chair senator Luke Himmel-Walker (P-C Pennsylvaania).

This morning, the situation in Philadelphia was turned entirely on its head, as Mr Gore stormed into the Senate curia with haggard aides in tow and, striding purposefully to the dais, commanded that all senators present themselves to the chamber. The live televised coverage was soon being broadcast on all the major networks as Mr Gore gracefully switched into Presbyterian preacher mode, berating the named senators for their "dastardly and cowardly acts of political scallawaggery" and the Senate in general for being a "house of ill repute".

By noon, the chamber was packed and the General Moderator read out a statement that called for the investigation of the named senators and their (unnamed) accomplices. The GM waved a sealed envelope threateningly at the stunned audience, intimating that he "know[s] who's in who else's pockets and who's buggering who and no one well be overlooked in this far deeper and utterly unpatriotic scandal of epic proportions". No one on the chamber floor dared speak out, but the consternation, or rather constipation, was clearly to be read upon the faces of many of our nation's senators.

Political commentator H. Ross Lambaugh of ABC radio took up the story in his popular afternoon radio show, saying: "Well, Mr Gore was dancing like a cat on a hot tin roof this time last week; but it looks very much like Dance Master Gore shall be calling the senators to do-si-do from here on out. Whatever the meaning of his veiled threat with the sealed envelope earlier this morning, it was clear from looking at the faces in the crowd that the GM's words were stabbing deep into the hearts of many in Philadelphia this morning. At this time, it is anyone's speculation as to what the end result will be. Last week we were looking at serious and creditable charges of misconduct against Mr Gore; this morning, it looks like at least two provinces will soon be holding special senatorial elections..."

Time will tell what the results of this inquest shall be. [PB]

Wita Warsiny -- 17.SEP.2005 -- Miracle in Robina Minarza

Read all about it here![JvS]

Newsday -- 14.SEP.2005 (27 Fructidor, CCXIII) -- Elections Coverage Continues

Chambéon, Nouvelle Cournouaille (LA) -- The votes are still coming in from the various districts of the Prefecture, and polling is expected to wrap up on Saturday. While there has been no official release of current votes, a TéléLouisianne Exit poll is giving a strong two-thirds majority to Johannes Yager, with Albert Dider trailing near 15 percent, and other minor party candidates taking up the remaining 25 percent. This data is largely skewed, as areas that are strong Didier supporters have been slow in forwarding their votes to the prefectoral seat.

Voile, Alpes-Argentés, Nouvelle Cournouaille (LA) -- Padrig Maughan announced his thanks to the Luthériens Démocratiques Populaires, but rejected their offer of membership. "President Young and the others of the council belonging to the Républicains Libres have welcomed me back to the fold, and I thank them. I will continue to support the religious right, and will keep the LDP and their constituents as I hold public offices.

New Orleans, Saint-Onge (LA) -- The flood waters are receding, power is being restored, but the effort is far from over. Much of the lowest areas of the city remain in question, and their future, unclear. Many have returned home, restoring their homes and fighting off looters.

President Young's authorization for the militia to shoot looters on sight has been heeded, but with moderation, as those seen stealing only food have been arrested and moved out of the disaster area.

The evacuation of Louisiannan citizens from Mobile has proceeded apace, and the Louisiannan government has extended its deepest and heartfelt thanks. "We recognize the brotherly love that Mobilians have extended our people. It is my hope that we will remember this should they ever be in need."

Mutterings from public officials in Mobile suggested the Hurricane was generated by Martians as a means to inseminate spies into the populace.[DH]

Newsday -- 13.SEP.2005 (25 Fructidor, CCXIII) -- Special Report: Polls Open In Louisianne

Chambéon, Nouvelle Cournouaille (LA) -- After the slanderous news reports against incumbent Albert Didier, and the allegations that he was somehow connected with the destruction of one of the many levees of Nouvelle Orleans, M. Didier has dropped a significant percentage in the polls. "C'est simple; il est de même parenté que ces frangins de la PRL." an old crone quipped. And in truth, if the allegations are verified, M. Didier will prove to be no different than his estranged friends in the Parti Républicain Libre. This is seen as a major blow for the budding Législateurs de Moralité Chrétienne (LMC). While M. Didier's standings in the polls have improved since the allegations were made, he is still expected to have a poor showing in the pending elections.

Nouvelle Orléans, Saint-Onge (LA) -- The Batavian embassy received their countrymen today who have arrived to help in the restructuring and reconstruction of the dams around the city. Prefect Marie-Claire Gildersleeve has approached the Batavians about other cities and locations along the coast of the Louisiannan nation to help shore up the vanishing coastline, which is taking much agricultural land away with it.

Zarahemla, Nouvelle Cournouaille (LA) -- Johannes Yager placed his ballot in the box to the flash of cameras and the chatter of reporters. Yager said simply "My desire is to usher in an unprecedented period of cooperation and community building. People reaching across boundaries - be they religious or race, political or geographic - to creat a republic that is truly respectful of each individual's pathway toward life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness must be our hope."

When questioned about his father's mining and other entrepreneurial ventures, he stated simply. "My father, one of the great entrepreneurs and philanthropists of this prefecture, taught me that capital - monetary or political - is to be used to benefit others. I intend to continue that tradition."

Yager has pushed a campaign of economic redevelopment for the westernmost prefecture, seeking to build up an economic and industrial base that will foster long term growth. "Government can't really create jobs. But government can improve the environment in which the private sector creates jobs," Yager said.

"I stand before you in the spirit of pure public service - not as a protector of the status quo, but as an agent of change. A vote for me is a vote for that change, a vote to distance ourselves from Party Bosses, men who seek only their own gain, such as would seem the case with Monsieur Albert Didier."

Alpes-Argentés (LA) -- From his office in Voile, Padrig Maughan issued a statement renouncing his membership in the Législateurs de Moralité Chrétienne (LMC). "I joined the Législateurs de Moralité Chrétienne, feeling that there was a missing direction in the Républicains Libres. As the shine has worn away, I see now that I have been duped. I cannot support a party that is simply the evils of prior years redressed in finery. I renounce the LMC, and will return to the Républicains Libres, should they accept me back."

Word has not been forthcoming from official venues within the RL, however, rumor does suggest that Maughan will be welcomed back, with open arms.

An official spokesman from the Luthériens Démocratiques Populaires has said that should M. Maughan wish, he could join the ranks of the LDP at any time.[DH]


NOUVELLE ORLÉANS (LA) -- Despite all the calamities that have ravaged Lousianne in recent times, at least one positive thing can be reported: the famous jass musician Antoine "Fêtes" Domineau is safe and sound. The 77 year old singer/pianist had earlier been reported missing, but today his daughter recognised him on a ship with evacuees.[JvS]


THE HAGUE -- A team of Batavian rescue workers and hydraulic engineers have left for Louisianne. Their mission is to help make the city of Nouvelle Orléans inhabitable again as soon as possible. The group, led by Theodorus Looman of the Technical University in Eindhoven, will concentrate its activities mostly on pumping away the water; as a result of Furacano #11, about ninety percent of the city is currently inundated with water from the Gulf of Mexico.

This morning, a convoy of twelve airships set out from The Hague for Nouvelle Orléans. Apart from the engineers and rescue workers, the fleet are transporting pumps and other draining equipment. They are also accompanied by ca. 500 Batavian troups. "At this moment, the city is in chaos. There is vandalism, arsony, and pillaging everywhere. Unfortunately, our people can't possibly do their work without protection", a spokesman of the Ministry of Defense said. The regiment is under the command of General Gerrit Hogensteijn.

Prime Minster Zeger-Jan Quaadfliegh wished Louisiannan president Young "all success in the world". "We haven't forgotten how generously Louisanne helped us when we were hit by the çunami. Now it's our turn. Together we will bear up against the devastating forces of nature", he said.

Crown prince Guillaume-Alexandre, very interested in hydraulics himself, will probably travel to Louisianne himself within two or three days, in order to inspire the Batavian rescue workers with courage.

An estimated nine or ten Batavian tourists and business people have not been evacuated from the city yet. The embassy assure us that these people are "hard to trace, but not missing".[JvS]

IBAP -- 31.08.2005 (13 Fructidor, CCXIII) -- Shady Dealings in Oregon?

While visiting Oregon last week as part of his tour to strengthen the border crossings of Nouvelle Cournouaille and protect against possible infiltration by Deseret insurgents, M. Albert Didier, Acting-Prefect is reputed to have visited with Jaime Bush, exiled in Oregon since the end of the 2004 Florida War.

While this sighting has not been certified, it has greatly damaged M. Didier's standings in the polls. His position is further weakened as the ongoing investigation as to the failed levees of Nouvelle Orleans suggest that they were destroyed using mining explosives, several of whose end caps have come from sites in the newly acquired Alpes Argentés.

Shortly after news of this visit came to light today, other evidence of graft has surfaced. Anatole Desse, Maire of Nouvelle Orleans stands accused of grafting hundreds of thousands of écus in gifts from various construction companies vying for the construction bids for M. Desse's project to raise Nouvelle Orleans' street levels.

Pundits are quick to cite the link of M. Desse and M. Didier, both members of the former Parti Républicain Libre (PRL) and new Législateurs de la Moralité Chrétienne (LMC). LMC party leadership has denounced claims of graft, but demand that a full investigation be conducted into both of these allegations.

President Young was unavailable for direct comment, as he was surveying the disaster area. An aide relayed that M. Young was "deeply concerned as to the state of affairs," and that he wishes "quick and proper solution to these awful, but sadly, not unusual allegations." The aide quipped that he was sure commentary of Martians would be forthcoming.

Marie-Claire Gildersleeve, Prefect of Saint-Onge has appointed Vice-Maire Raymond Nagin to serve as Mayor of Nouvelle Orleans for the duration of this crisis and the investigation against M. Desse.[DH]


MOBILE -- Word from our western neighbours is that sabotage might have played a role in the insult added to the injury suffered by the city of New Orleans in the aftermath of Furacano #11 on Tuesday morning. The Gendarmerie of Mobile City has offered its services to the Mayor of New Orleans, seeing that his own forces are being harried in protecting what is left of the city.[PB]


BILOXI -- Human nature can on the one hand be nearly angelic, evidenced by the amount of aid flooding into St. Onge Prefecture of Louisianne and the mutual cooperation to be found among all the affected Gulf Coast communities of both the NAL, Louisianne and the Louisianan colonies hosted by our great province. Human nature can also be horrifically wicked, as evidenced by the looters who have taken over New Orleans; and the hordes of refugees who had hoped to seek temporary shelter in the NAL, but too many of whom have taken to looting right alongside our fellow Mobilians.

President Young's "we shall sentence them to minimum wage jobs" decree is being laughed at by many on both sides of the river, but his pleas have convinced our provinces constabulary to take every pains not to shoot looters without trying to determine their nationality first. It does not need to be pointed out to any patriotic Mobilian that provincial law makes provisions for the defense of life and property against spoilers and robbers [just as it also makes several provisions for those who would take the fight off their land and join a posse or vigilante gang]. The constabulary have no authority to interfere in the exexcution of justice under such threatening circumstances, but all local chiefs of police are urging locals to exercise restraint. Several locals have banded together in an effort to capture Louisianan looters, apparently hoping that some kind of reward has been posted for their safe return.

Far from a violent welcome, the officialdom of the province is trying its utmost to accomodate the influx of Louisianan inhabitants in segregated camps, safely away from the recovery and reconstruction efforts going on in the cities. It is Mobile's sincere hope that all Louisianan citizens who enter the NAL will be directed to local authorities, so that they may be quickly relocated. Some have taken to calling the camps at St. Louis and Magnolia the "Nouvelles Colonies". This of course raises suspicions as to what will become of these refugees in the weeks and months to come...[PB]

IBAP -- 31.08.2005 -- Agents Saboteurs on the Loose?

Baton-Rouge, Pontchartrain, Saint-Onge -- Rumor is growing that there are Sabotage Agents loose in New Orleans. An unidentified member of the Corps d'Ingenieurs de l'Armee Louisiannaise avered that there was strong evidence of "high-explosives" used to detonate the Hammond Highway Levee.

Official government channels will only say that this levee break is under investigation.[DH]

IBAP -- 31.08.2005 (13 Fructidor, CCXIII) -- The National Government Responds

Paris-sur-Mizouri -- President Young and the Council watched as trainloads of National Militia, supplies from the coffers of the LDS church, and from the Catholic Diocese of Osage as well as materials moved down the tracks toward the ravaged Prefecture of Saint-Onge. Riding in `the Aigle', President Young granted an interview with IBAP.

Q: Why have you mobilized the Guard National, when before this time it has only served as a defencive entity?

A: Simply put, we are mobilizing it in defence. Defence of those in Nouvelle Orleans who cannot defend themselves. In defence of our neighbors and the riff-raff that menace them. With permission from the local government (aside our dear friend Geoff), we are organizing the refugees and guiding them back across our borders into the Loire-Neuf.

Q: Organizing the militia on foreign soil?

A: They are members of the militia, yes. The militia itself is not activated, and the members of the militia are merely serving as civilian leadership to guide the masses across and into waiting camps in the Loire-Neuf. From this starting point we will be moving our citizens to temporary camps in the Garonne-Neuve, Les Ozarques, Mississippi and the Côte d'Or [departments within the prefectures of Osage and Saint-Louis].

Q: And what of those who cross from Pontchartrain and La Salle? What of the Pays-Lointains?

A: We are working closely with Mayor Desse and Governeur Rochambeau to re-direct the tide of refugees. We will be directing our people in a massive effort to restore the infrastructure. As most of these people will not be able to return to work until some time, months from now, we will use their help in restoring infrastructure, cleaning up the cities and towns.

Q: And the looters? Surely you realize that a great percentage of the population is looting and pillaging our cities.

A: That I sadly do realize. It is because of that that the entire Prefecture of Saint-Onge is under martial law, and those caught looting will be sentenced immediately to forced labor (at the national minimum wage) until they repay the damages they have caused. We ask that any of our citizens caught in such acts abroad be treated with the same dignity and severity of the local law, be it Tejas or Mobile.

The Militia of Côte de Châtaigne has been mobilized to protect Nouvelle Orleans, and the National Corps d'Ingenieurs is on the way in special zeppelin to quickly restore the pumping power of the pumps in Nouvelle Orleans, as well as restore the levees that were destroyed.

Q: And what of the rumors that the third levee was detonated by agents saboteurs?

A: No Comment. At this time, anyway. It's under investigation.[DH]

IBAP -- 31.08.2005 -- The Horrors of Nature

In the wake of a massive furacano, the eleventh of the season, striking the coast of Louisianne, and the NALien gulf provinces, the death-toll is rising, and the city of Nouvelle-Orléans is under water.

While many were able to be evacuated thanks to the meteorological warnings made possible by the Bureau Météorolgique National's system of aerostats and the new space satellite, there was still a large death toll, and the destruction of many historic areas of the city due to flood. Two massive levees broke along the Mississippi and Lake Pontchartrain, and a third was destroyed under somewhat questionable circumstances. There is an investigation pending into this more dubious destruction.

Mayor Anatole Desse described the city as "a den of anarchy." He and the Councillors of the Arrondissements have met in emergency session to procure aid not only from the national government but from other governments world-wide that have a vested interest in the rapid re-establishment of this key port-city.

When asked about the effect of the furacano on the plans to "raise" the ground level of the city, Mayor Desse said flatly "This will of course increase our resolve to build the city up quickly. If we had completed our task years before now, we would not be underwater, but rather, the water would be running off our streets and back to the ocean and river."

Alphonse Rochambeau of the Pays-Lointains was only quoted as saying, "Like every other lemon thrown at us, we will make a TARTE!" to which he lifted a shot glass of whisky before setting out with his Cabinet to direct relief efforts in the heavily hit twin cities.

President Young has promised national aid, and embassies from New Orleans are en route to the Council Fire and National Parliament of the NAL seeking help in re-establishing the grievously wounded trade route.[DH]


From the Examiner of Philadelphia this morning: "...We shall be expecting embassies from the Louisianans within this present week seeking aid in reconstructing the now ruined Jewel of the Mississippi, Nouvelle Orléans. Even before the furicano came ashoar yesterday in the early morning, plans were being made in the Parliament to appropriate aid for our western neighbours.

It should ought be recalled that the Mississippi River is international waters for all of its length from the cities of St. Louis on down. It is not a matter of leaving Louisianna to sort out its own internal matters -- indeed, the city of New Orelans in general and the freeports in especial are of equal importance to those living east of the Great River as they are to those living west of it."

From the Star of Georgetown: "Reports of the Anarchy spreading across the southern parishes of St. Onge Prefecture have raised alarm bells in the halls of Parliament as well as down in the "Old Easy". What with refugees fleeing the destruction wrought in St. Onge Prefecture, what with Nouvelle Orleans awash in sewage and corpses, general rioting, looting and what with the long known fact that Young's precarious position as Louisianna's only reformist President, the present disaster has given us cause to wonder how much longer the assorted and entrenched grifters, grafters, scallawags and profiteers that make up much of the Louisiannan political landscape will put up with his reformist bent. As is well known, in the "Bons Jours", a natural disaster such as the present furicano would have caused even the most jaded profitmonger to literally drool over the opportunities to squeeze and extort the natives of the Jewel of the Mississippi out of thousands or millions or ecus. The question before us now is this: are we to sit idly by while Louisianna slides into anarchy from the south up or are we to consider all the plans available to us to shore up their foundring government and defend our border from further incursions of refugees?"

From the Register of Mobile (NAL): "When it was made clear the recent furicano, no. 11, was to release her full fury on our neighbours to the west in Nouvelle Orleans, we welcomed such visitors as heeded the evacuation orders and decided to flee to the east, and have set them up as nicely as possible on short notice. Now, the vast breadth of the furicano was made known in the destruction wrought here in the American coasts of the Caribbean -- and still the Louisiannans make their way east, across border crossings destroyed by the storm. What is to be done with all these refugees, some of which have joined in the looting of damaged Mobilian towns? Not that the great province of Mobile would turn any away, but we too are suffering from the furicanoe's devastation! Mr Young -- will you not control your own people? Or must we call upon the militia to repel the invaders?"

From the Catholic Herald of Chicago: "...Special collections in every diocese and every parish in the NAL are to be recommended by the Episcopal Council of North America, in order to help rebuild the communities devastated by the furicano, particularly those less fortunate in Biloxi, Mobile and New Orleans."

And on the lighter side, Mobile provinces own Geoffrey Sessions on the Larry King Live Radio Programme: "It's all a hoe-axe, Larry, that's right a big ol hoe-axe. This "furicano" nonsense is just the latest in a series of scams perpetrated by the "Lose"-ianan government to bilk the American people of their hard earned guineas. This is pure ponziism and scallawagery of the basest sort. Now, don't even get me going about the imminant invasion by their special ops forces and blue Martians posing as homeless refugees! This situation just won't do!"[PB]


TRANQUEBAR -- Tranquebar is literally growing. The first phase of the construction of the TSRC's permanent cosmodrome, the extension of the breakwaters along the northernmost part of Tranquebar's coastline, is complete. The next phase will be to fill up the 1½ mi long enclosed area with dredged material from the seabed to create the artificial island of Bylgjeholm ("Wave Islet"). Bylgjeholm, which will the site of the TSRC's permanent cosmodrome, is scheduled to be completed by next year.[KJ]

Rikets Tidende -- Monday, 29/08/2005 -- BRASILIAN TO BE FIRST CIVILIAN IN SPACE

RIO DE JANEIRO -- Brasilian milliardaire and adventurer, Ferdinando Collori, has purchased from the TSRC the first ticket for the first civilian space jump -- a freefall dive from suborbital space. The first space jump was performed last year by the SR naval airman, Josef Petersen Quitanga. After this historic and successful jump, the TSRC has been commercializing the idea of space jumping to rich adventurers like Collori. Further experimental jumps would still have to be carried out by the TSRC to perfect the procedure and before Collori can attempt it himself. But by then, the Tranquebar cosmodrome, which is currently being constructed, should be completed. It is hoped space jumping will become popular among the immensely rich tourists that come to visit Tranquebar.[KJ]

IBAP Science Journal, Vol III, Ed. 9 -- 27.08.2005

Salem, Oregon -- Low-level infra-red lights blink out in the distant surf near Salem. Transponders in the flotilla of buoys warn ships around, although no ships are expected through the area.

The buoys are a visual anomaly only; they seem to serve no purpose, that is, until you walk down the beach to what appears to be a driftwood beach hut.

As I neared the hut, the whine of electricity production came louder and louder to my ears. I turned to my guide and asked "Is thou sure this is safe?"

He nodded, and conducted me in to the hut, which goes underground and looks down on transformers, carrying power to Salem in what promises to be a technology as fruitful as the famed Tesla Reactors of Dalmatia.

Ecotopian scientists have developed a means of harnessing wave-power, converting the undulation through these buoys into 250 kilowatts of power each, enough that 500 of these power the entirety of the business districts of Salem and Portland.

On entering the deepest portion of the power station, I'm greeted by Agnette von Johannes, pioneer of this incredible technology. When I asked her vision of the future, she said in her accented English, "There is tremendous potential in the oceans to supply energy for the world. Think of it! All the tiny islands of the pacific no longer dependent on combustion, but rather, a small number of power generating buoys, buoys that will generate power so long as the sun heats the oceans and the Moon orbits the Earth!"

Miss von Johannes is planning proposals for all of the major coastal North American countries to speak of this power generation ability, beginning with Montrei.[DH]

Asahi Ximbun -- 24.08.2005 (Gacudai 2, Xitxigaçu 26) -- Editorial

Changes in North America Until recently, the conventional wisdom was that the North American League was the most stable of North America's nations, certainly more stable and politically clean than Louisianne. Yet, while Jean-Francois Young has been cleaning up Louisianne's government, the NAL's government has been descending into chaos. Recently, an MP from the province of Oxbridge threatened an MP from Jacobia Province with a gun. Though no shots were fired, the very fact that, not only was a gun brought into the Parliament building, but was brandished threateningly, bids poorly for the future. We can only hope that GM Gore will do the honorable thing and step down from his General Moderatorship.

This latest scandal has leads to new questions about the wisdom of allying with Louisianne. Louisianne, too, had reason for bitterness towards FC. Could the Watergap scandal have involved Louisianne leaders? If so, the opposition argues, the effects on Louisianne could be far worse, bringing down the whole government, and potentially destroying our careful investments in that mid-continent republic.[NT]


GEORGETOWN -- News has come to the City that two independent labs have confirmed the authenticity of the damning audio tapes that were leaked to two junior reporters of the Inquirer of Philadelphia last May. [See also our series of articles summing up the Scandal at the Watergap Hotel*] In light of materials revealed to various news media, a press conference had been scheduled for Friday at noon.

As all now know, the tapes record secretive meetings between GM Albert Gore, the MPs and Lords Governors of Jacobia and Cherokee Nation regarding the "situation in Florida", and range in date from 2000 to as recently as late 2004. The Governors speak of the "untenable situation that Mr Bush is putting us in" and that "we can not solve this problem in the usual fashion [diplomacy]". Mr Gore's characteristic Tenisi drawl is very clear in saying "You boys just do what you need to do. We want Bush taken care of." The source of the tapes is unknown, and the Inquirer is guarantying their source's anonymity; though the young reporters admit they have dubbed him "Sore Throat", on account of his rough, raspy voice.

If that weren't bad enough, the situation in the Houses of Parliament at Philadelphia is deteriorating this week as several more tapes were released to NBC's Philadelphia bureau this Monday that seem to outline an American instigated coup during the last weeks of the Caribbean War. The Parliament was in an uproar Tuesday morning as the MPs from Jacobia and Cherokee Nation took their seats; many MPs calling for investigations or removal proceedures. When it became clear that the MPs in question were not going to leave the chambers, one MP from Oxbridge drew a small pistol and threatened the Jacobian MP, which threw the whole chamber into chaos. The situation came to blows when the New Icelandish MP knocked the gun from Oxbridge's hand; but the Sargeant at Arms restored calm in short order by separating the parliamentarians with the Mace.

In an interview with MP Chavez from West Florida this afternoon, the Star has learnt that no one in the Floridian Resistance movement was aware or invovled in any coup against former President Bush of Florida-Caribbea. It was assumed that the coup came solely from within the Miami military corps.[PB]


SAN JUAN -- Various Portorican news papers chimed in on the surprise Scandinavian overture of a peace treaty between the Realm and the Nation of Porto Rico. While most of the Portorican press have proven to be welcoming of the announcement, several outlets prefered to reserve judgement.

The Nuevo Día of San Juan reported: "...the diplomatic mission sent from the SR capital of Goteborg confirmed a treaty of peace between the nation of Porto Rico and the Scandinavian Realm, thus officially ending the War of Caribbean Liberation..." and "...the unexpected largesse of their coffers has not gone unnoticed. For our part, we shall gladly accept their offers of peace and their assistance, as we have from the North Americans, and account them henceforth as amigos..."

The Estrella of San Juan reported: "Far from the cold reception we had expected, given the sad events late in the War, the SR seems to have completely shorn itself of its former bloodthirst and has confirmed ''friendly diplomatic ties'' now exist between our two countries..."

The Perla del Sur of Ponce reported: " shall remain to be seen whether these grand gestures of our newly committed Scandinavian friends shall extend to our poor wayward cousins in Florida, whose lands they destroyed with wanton abandon and left in the care of an inept power when they were done looting and pillaging..."[PB]

Rikets Tidende -- Monday, 22/08/2005 -- FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN THE SR AND PÔRTO RICO

CHRISTIANSTED -- The Irish naval squadron patrolling the waters between the Cruzan Islands and Pôrto Rico alongside their Scandinavian counterpart will no longer be needed as friendly diplomatic ties have been established between Gøteborg and San Juan. Ireland intends to completely withdraw from its engagement in the West Indies in the next few weeks, including its roll in the occupation of Florida.

The SR government, in addition to providing developmental aid to rebuild the war ravaged Cruzan Islands, will now also be providing developmental aid to Pôrto Rico. Cruzan stateminister, Bep Karl Jansen Durloos, has called it "an important gesture to show our commitment to heal the wounds between our peoples".[KJ]

BBC World News Service -- 20.JUL.2005 (Gacudai 2, Rocugaçu 21) -- Succession Challenged

Chheñjiñ -- I Sek, a retired singer, and cousin to the late Grand Prince Hoiyn (I Ku), has contested the legitimacy of I Uen's adoption and succession to the late Grand Prince's titles.[NT]

BBC World News Service -- 19.JUL.2005 (Gacudai 2, Rocugaçu 20) -- Posthumous Title Bestowed to Grand Prince

Chheñjiñ -- Former Grand Prince I Ku has been given the posthumous title of Hoiyn by the I House.[NT]

BBC World News Service -- 17.JUL.2005 (Gacudai 2, Rocugaçu 18) -- Grand Prince Dies

Chheñjiñ -- Grand Prince I Ku, son of former King-in-Exile Sajo and nephew to former King Sunjoñ, and Hereditary Governor of Hamgieñpuk, passed away yesterday. He is succeeded by his adopted son, and cousin, I Uen.[NT]

CYP Newydhon Releases -- Wednesday 13th July, 2005 -- CCB, CSB AND SEANAD IN JOINT SI DECISION

By Paedryc Caemyn, finance correspondant -- Today the Cerda Ceyserec Bancwryth, Cerda Saerned Bancwryth and the Seanad Ynyad have finally approved the conversion of Armorica's currency from the age old system inherited from our Gaulish ancestors to the modern SI system used world-wide. After a year's protracted negotiations with the EF, the Armorican finance industry and widespread public consultation, the decision to ratify the Isles' entry to the EF monetary union had today been approved by the Seanad, with a majority of only three senators.

Despite widespread public protests and royal disapproval (HM King Rodry was widely expected to exercise his ancient perogative of "nedansyw"), the first stages of conversion will begin later this year, with full changeover expected to be complete by December 2006. Shopkeepers will be expected to display prices in both denaer and EF livres as of Samaen this year, Arvorec EF currency will begin to be issued as legal tender by Samaen 2006. Banks will be obliged to exchange denaer for EF livres until 2010.

Representatives from the Tourism Committee welcome the change, pointing out that EF livres and FK pounds have been accepted in Landrewan and Porthbelen for years, as such the decision only confirms and extends existing practice.

Maelgwn ap Cêrdhyn, spokesman for the CCB, also welcomes the changeover, stating "it's time we caught up with the rest of Europe- the time for monetary isolation is over! You can already hear the cheers across AN Cânva!".[DJ]


The Scandinavian cruise ship "Værlden", the world's largest cruise ship is due to arrive at Ceyser on Thursday. Passengers on board the "Værlden" travel the around the globe after buying or renting apartments on the ship.

Described by some as a floating block of flats, it stopped off in Saern last year but it was thought it was too big for Ceyser's shallower anchorages. However, during last year's visit to Saern the captain took the opportunity to visit Ceyser and check depths around the island.

She is due to moor off the coast of Daerryd Bychan and the passengers will be able to take transfer boats to the main harbour of Landrewan, while the ship will be open to curious Ceyseraedeth for tours. She is due to depart on Saturday.[DJ]

PRESS INTERNATIONAL WIRE SERVICE -- 10.07.2005 -- Furacano #4 Approaches West Florida

Pensacola, West Florida -- Just 10 months after last year's disasterous Furacano #9, a new furacano is once again preparing to strike at the beleaguered people of West Florida, who are still recovering from the effects of the Florida War and last year's furacano.

Hundreds of thousands have evacuated northwards, into Cherokee Nation, determined not to ride out another storm, especially one that has strengthened up to a Category 4, above last year's furacano, which was only a 3.

Furacano-strength winds extend out 40 miles from the center, and could go as far as 175 miles inland.

The Furacano has already killed 20 people in Haiti and Cuba, and knocked out power in the Florida Keys, in the Irish Occupation Zone of South Florida.[NT]

Le Ioc (The Humorist, of Ysca) -- 28.JUN.2005 -- Power of the Sun on Earth

Cadarache, Saint Paul-lez-Durance, Bouches-du-Rhône, France -- Powerful news broke today as great scientific minds of France, the Federated Kingdoms, the Batavian Kingdom, Italy, the Scandinavian Union and the Empire of Japan announced the completion of construction of our world's first ever Fusion reactor, known as Iter, in Cadarache, France.

This first Fusion reactor will test important aspects of the Fusion reactor to prepare for full commercial power generation. The tests will study the full range of use, from Ramp-up for power generation, Ramp-down for cleaning, reloading of fusionable materiel, and other safety procedures.

Fusion is touted as the wiser, better nuclear option, as the nuclear reactants degrade fully in a matter of decades, and within days if in a human body.

While ITER will be a functioning fusion reactor, the first viable commercial reactors aren't expected before mid-century, unless incredible breakthroughs are experienced during the daughter projects of ITER. This is not discouraging to the scientists who are working on ITER. "It's an important first step, just like the steps taken to uncover Fission as a viable energy source," said Daffyd da Castreleon, lead FK scientist.[DH]

17.JUN.2005 -- BBC World News Service -- Laibach sold-out Elenü Hall in Settikortu

The popular band Laibach sold-out a concert in the Nassian capital Elenii. Almost 60.000 people from not only the city but also from around the country came to listen to the exhortion of Tomaž Hoštnik, who was present at the concert. His speeches have appeared recently in all major regional newspapers.

Laibach's newest album, W.A.T., as have many of their records, demonstrated strong political involvement, pointing out on the major problems of the political scene in Eastern and Southern Europe. Their song "Tanz mit uns" was banned by many conservative radio-stations in the region. Of particular note, Laibach has had problems in Bohemia, where their concert was shut down after first 30 minutes with official excuse that it was "too loud" and "a disturbance to the peace".

Although the Nassian government is strict in its policy to not meddle in internal affairs of other states, the occupation of Slovenia was never recognised and even now, a Slovene flag flies over the town-hall in Sëttikortu marking the 1996 anniversary when the Principality of Slovenia was proclaimed and then crushed by Croatia. The prime minister Aromiroo was also in attendance at the concert, not in an official capacity but as a private citizen, giving a speech before the concert was opened, expresing his sympathies to the struggle of Slovenes for independence.

We can expect protests from the Croatian regime, but it is the blood in our veins which tells us, that Slovenes are our brothers in a fight for freedom and their human rights. Let us dance with them![Jij]

AP Wire Service -- 5.JUNE.2005(Gacudai 2, Gogaçu 6) -- Imperial Wedding

Quiòto -- Her Imperial Majesty the Emperor will wed her fiancé, Prince Alisugawa-no-miya Masahito, today in a public ceremony attended by leaders from around the world. The marriage will occur shortly after the coronation. Prince Alisugawa is the Emperor's fourth cousin once removed, related most closely through her great-grandmother, the Empress of Emperor Xòwa.

By marrying a member of the Imperial House, it will assure that her children will likewise be members of the Imperial House, and thus eligible to succeed, as membership in the Imperial House is strictly patrilineal. Under ordinary rules, her children would be fairly low in the succession, gaining their position through their father. However, Her Imperial Majesty is expected to place them at the front of the line by a special Imperial Decree.[NT]

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