News From Ill Bethisad in 2006

This just in! ...

News stories run from most recent to oldest.

All news stories are submitted by participants in Ill Bethisad, all of whom are welcome to submit stories from their respective parts of Ill Bethisad. Submissions may be edited for clarity, language or style.


News Page.


OBC News transcript -- 24.MAY.2006 -- Viridian City bombing responsibility claimed

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT] -- This is OBC news, I'm Quentin Farier. A lone American SNORist called Moesul Thomlinson has claimed responsibility for the 5/5 Viridian City bombings in Viridian city in a letter sent to police in Salem and Vancouver, we can reveal. The attacks, which oddly co-incide with the Chaptorial decision to of Boris Hill in Ontario, can not be officially linked of such SNORists.

As such in Vancouver and Viridian City, there have been many Anti-SNORist demonstrations, and the famous left-wing radical, Hannah Coulter could even be made out amongst the crowds. One demonstrator had this to say:

"Why is English related to the Cyrillic alphabet in Oregon? We still have remnants of a rough-and-ready past which shows no sign of abating. Why?"

In other news, the Lucky Peak dam has extended its capacity to generate more electricity than ever before. The Snake River province, which already exports electricity, makes more than enough power to cover its own needs. They are in direct competition with Dalmatian Tesla generators off the coast of Salem and Portland.[QF]


BBC NEWS SERVICE -- 24.MAY.2006 -- New Minority Language Channel Offered

LONDON -- The BBC has announced its decision to launch a new channel, "BBC 3", to complement its existing channels. The channel will have much local variation for different groups of people in its space. It will use local dialects and minority languages, such as Dumnonian in Dumnonia and Cambrian in the minority of Strathclyde, Scots-Gaelic in the Scottish Highlands. In other stories, Slevania has won last night's Eurovidere Song Contest with its contreversial song, "Amen", which is a far hit from the usual style of the Contest, in a slavic classical musical style. It was accused of promoting SNORism, although there is nothing in the actual words which relate to politics or Religion as such. The group had controversially used the dress of a Orthodox priest in conjunction with the Heraldic Eagle and Orthodox Cross. A spokesperson for the Patriarch of Constantinople has said; "The association between the Orthodox church and the SNORist ideology is long-lost and out-dated. However, there is no need to make fun of or humiliate the Church in such a manner - this is not tolerable behaviour." Meanwhile, the FK's entry, "We are the winners of the Eurovidere song contest", gained a fascinating "nul points". The song was described by a media group as "Repetitive at worst and mind-numbingly boring at worst".[QF]


Asahi Ximbun -- 24.MAY.2006 (Gacudai 3, Xigaçu 18) -- Imperial Heir Born

Quiòto -- Her Imperial Majesty has given birth to two healthy twin boys. The heir-apparent, the firstborn, has been given the name Xigehito, and the title Xi-no-miya [Prince Xi], while the second has been given the name Nolihito, and will inherit his father's title of Prince Alisugawa.[NT]


NAL TODAY -- 11.MAY.2006 -- MAY-DAY FOR N.A.L. POLITICS

Philadelphia -– The political landscape of the North American League shifted twice in forty-eight hours this week. First, General Moderator Albert Gore decided to try and re-ignite his stalled UniCov program in Parliament with a seldom-used clause in the Solemn League Covenant. He announced that the upcoming Senate elections in November would also be a General Election for the House of Delegates.

Most analysts agree he was counting on electoral debris from the Watergap Scandal to cripple the Progressive Conservatives in the polls. Having led the Whigs into a firmer lock onto a majority in both houses, he would then use that momentum to further UniCov.

Most political commentators and veteran reporters perceived this strategy at once. Their consensus was that it had excellent odds of success.

That was when the second shift happened. Three prominent members of the PCs announced that not only were they leaving their party, but forming a new one. Senators Howard Provost (Jacobia) and Diane Rodham (Illinoise) were joined by Ontario Moderator Sir Clive Parker in proclaiming the Covenant Loyalists as "a response to the crisis in leadership facing the League." In a specially-called press conference outside Liberty Hall, all three declared themselves a sitting National Committee to gather support, members and infrastructure for the Covenant Loyalists.

Minority Whip Robert O'Kinneide (Massachussetts Bay) almost immediately decried the move as "The sad error of those more interested in personal ambition than loyalty to a cause." Octagon House Communications Director Jaime Carville issued a statement calling the fledgling committee "Nice try at reclaiming the initiative but one that doesn't look too likely to work."

Several unofficial polls of Parliament taken since the public would seem to through that conclusion into doubt. Over half the current Delegates and Senators who are members of the Progressive Conservatives expressed interest if not outright support for the new Party. More startlingly, half a dozen Whig Senators and twice that many Whig Delegates voiced similar sentiments. Most of these refused to allow their names to be released, but in another startling move one of those who did was Castreleon New Delegate Hannah O'Kinneide Blaine, daughter of the late General Moderator. In the wake of this news, rumors began to spread throughout the capital that former General Moderator William Clinton is likewise considering lending the new group his support (relations between Clinton and his successor have been cool, mostly over the former's disapproval of Gore's fiscal policies and Gore's well-documented critiques of Clinton's personal life). Calls to Clinton's office have gone unanswered.

During Tuesday's press conference, the Committee members answered questions from reporters for nearly an hour. Although all three spoke a great deal of preserving traditions and a need for caution in public policy, most observers came away believing the Covenant Loyalists are an attempt to seize the political center, currently seen as up for grabs with the Whigs turning increasingly left-wing and the more centrist-right Progressive Conservatives in disarray.[DZ]


OBC Radio News -- 05.MAY.2006 -- Explosions Rock Viridian City!

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
[NETWORK NEWS JINGLE]Today is the 5th of May, 2006, and this is the News on the OBC Radio News Network; I'm Quentin Farier. Top story this lunchtime --

As we speak, news is just coming across the wires of four explosions in Viridian City, Oregon. It is believed that this is a terrorist attack on three buses and a tram in the centre of Viridian City; all were travelling eastbound near the city centre. The buses, which run on Hydrogen, were all newly placed in service and specially designed for the ectotopic republic by the Bluejay Bus manufactory of Fort Vale, Jacobia (NAL) so that they give off virtually no emissions. Unfortunately, Hydrogen is exceptionally explosive, and no survivors from the immediate surrounds are expected. More as new information comes in.[QS]

[END TRANSCRIPT]


Rikets Radio News Service -- 05.MAY.2006 -- Arctic Union talks now underway full swing

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
[JINGLE]This is the Rikets Radio news for the first of May 2006; the time is Mid day.

Our main story today -- talk sessions surrounding a new "Arctic Union" are now under way. The proposed Union, currently in the formation stage, would sort out Arctic fishing, shipping and environmental issues in the region. States currently participating are the NAL (Ontario, Nunavik and the Unincorporated Territory), New Francie, Chukotka, Alyeska, Samme, Nassland, Iceland, Greenland, the North Atlantic Dependency, Faeroe Islands, and Norway.

Participation by the RPN, Nenetsia and Yakutia failed when the Russian central government blocked any RF involvement in the group.[QS]

[END TRANSCRIPT]


Asahi Ximbun -- 04.MAY.2006 (Gacudai 3, Sañgaçu 29) -- Anti-Yacuza Law Passed

Quiòto -- The Empress has given Imperial Assent to the Act to Repress Organized Crime. The Act establishes a special government department within the Justice Ministry to target large scaled organized crime, particularly the notorious Yacuza.[NT]


Le Monde (Paris) -- 20.APR.2006 -- Children Among Dead in French Guyana

16 citizens have been found dead in a rural Guyanan village according to local Gendarmes. "It has the appearance of food poisoning or even poisoning, but we will not know until toxicology has been reviewed.

The remote village of Loca is mainly accessible via Helicopter or blimp in the deep western jungle of Guyana. The Gendarmes were notified by locals who had found the bodies in a house.

An official inquiry is in process. Rumors had begun spreading that it was former Floridian agents, however this is unfounded, and the official police position is that this is food poisoning gone horribly wrong.[DH]


ILL SUL -- 01.APR.2006 -- £1 - R.I.P. - Treasury plans to dump the llifr coin because there's nothing worth buying with it.

By Rhidderch Rhafforth

CASTRELEON -- The £1 coin could be scrapped... because you can't buy anything decent with it any more. Scotland has so many of the unwanted coins in circulation that moves are afoot to stop minting them altogether. An internal Treasury report reveals that the £1 coin is piling up in our purses and pockets as people find it an increasing struggle to find anything worth spending it on.

The plan to phase out the coin by 1 April, next year has been masterminded by the FK's Treasury HQ in Castreleon, and is being passed down to their branch offices in Edinbro and London. A Treasury insider said last night: "People hate the things. You can't even buy a decent novel for a quid these days." He said the plan is not likely to be rolled out across England. He added: "Our head office in Castreleon did weeks of market research and found that the Scots, in particular, struggled to find anything worth spending a pound on."

There are tens of millions of £1 coins in circulation in the Federated Kingdoms. The insider said: "Many people may ask, 'Why kill off the poond? What about the double or farthing, are they not even more useless?' "But there are loads of uses for those coins. For example, the hapenny coins might not get you much in the supermarket but they are great for putting under wonky table legs. Likewise, the tiny half-farthing pieces can be a bit of a footer, we admit, but research has found they have a number of other applications. I personally have found they can double as handy and rather tasteful drinks coasters in my daughter's dolls house. We can all agree that pennies are always worth spending, so where does that leave the punt piece? Totally redundant."

Under the proposals, people would be allowed to hand in their useless pounds and exchange them at banks for smaller denominations. BBC The World Tonight experts have already come up with a range of alternative home-made uses for any £1 coins that people forget to hand in.

A spokesman for the programme said: "We may be looking the end of the liveor as legal tender, but that could just be the very beginning for the coin as a fashionable item in its own right. The options are endless. For example, they could be used as kids ear-rings or as wheels for hamsters go-carts. They could be cemented together in the loo in place of floor tiles.

"Or, for Mother's Day presents, our viewers could stick a few twenty-shilling-bits on their edge, evenly placed along a line of Plasticine. There you go, a cheap and compact toast rack."

The Association of Retailers in Scotland (West), said their members would be happy with the idea to get rid of the livre piece. Spokesman Murdoch McClutchie said: "Once upon a time, a poond used to get you a poke of sweets but, with the rise of inflation, the coin has become so worthless. And, what's more, you'd have 19 shillings six and a half in change! All it will buy you these days is a tacky cut-price edition of a cheap London-based newspaper. Frankly, I wouldn't give you twenty bob for a £1 piece if you offered me one right now."[PB]


L'Étoille de Lyons-sur-Mizouri -- 01.APR.2006 -- Louisianne Abolished

Paris-sur-Mizouri -- President Jean-François Young has announced the ratification of a Treaty of Union with the North American League. Under the terms of the treaty, Louisianne will cease to exist as a sovereign nation one year from ratification. The prefectures of Louisianne will become new Provinces of the North American League.

The former prefectures will retain most of their internal structure and laws, where they do not conflict with the Covenant. In addition, they will preserve the French language, and will be allowed to retain the metric system and Republican Calendar, but the international system [SI] will be given primary importance. It is expected that the decimated units will fade away in time.

"A new day is upon us," Young said to the People's House. "No more shall we be divided from our brothers to the west by the Mississippi and Missouri Rivers. Side-by-side with the League government, the corruption and waste that has long plagued our people will be no more. Vive l'Amérique! Today Louisianne, tomorrow, Tejas, Alta California, Oregon, and Alyaska!"[NT]


NNC Wire Service -- 29.MAR.2006 -- Boris Hill Horror

Thunder Bay, ON (NAL) -- Boris Hill is a community of 200 souls roughly two hundred fifty miles north of Thunder Bay, right in the heart of the region of Ontario called locally "North Ontario," the least inhabited region of that province. Settled mostly during the 1920s by Russian immigrants, this town of farming families was known--by the very few people who had ever heard of it--as a place cut off from the rest of the world during much of winter. The nearest highway is over forty miles distant. Telephone service is unreliable during heavy snowfalls. The total lack of news from Boris Hill for the last four months seemed unusual to no one.

Until this week.

Details remain hard to confirm, in part because of the remoteness of the location, but also because authorities are keeping a tight reign on information. Certain facts have been confirmed by the CBI and by officials of Ontario Mounted Police. Individuals of the New World Order, a violent offshoot of the American Snorist Party, in effect seized the town in mid-December. When contact was reëstablished via an accidental visit by a forest ranger on March 25, bodies were hanging from several street lamps and at least ninety persons--mostly adult males--were reported dead, nearly half the town's population. The exact number of dead remain unconfirmed at this time, as the search for unmarked graves continues.

What is known is that early Sunday morning on March 26, armed officers of the Mounted Police, the Thunder Bay field office of the CBI as well as police officers from Thunder Bay and several adjoining towns entered Boris Hill and engaged the then-unidentified perpetrators. Three officers were shot in the exchange of gunfire, including one who was killed in the line of duty. Four of at least fifteen perpetrators were killed before the last of them surrendered, but only after a tense standoff in which one man held three children hostage for nine hours.

All those captured were wearing some variation of military fatigues with the emblem of the New World Order--a stylized Snor-like eagle with a maple leaf--sewn on as a badge. A flag of the same symbol was flying from the post office, instead of the 'old blue sheet' and the provincial banner. "It looked like a foreign invasion," said one officer.

Spokesmen for the Central Bureau of Investigation confirmed that multiple charges of assault, murder, kidnapping, rape, theft, trespassing and arson (at least one home had been burned to the ground) were to be levelled against the survivors.

The New World Order was officially formed in 2003 by actor Mikhail Medved, an Ontario native who had moved to Atlanta (JA) in hopes of a career in moving pictures. It was an offshoot of the anachronistic and racialist American Snorist Party, best-known for its current Leader Dmitri Duke, one-time member of the Jacobia Assembly. Medved, and like-minded individuals, broke away from the party because, according to a press release they issued, Duke "offered zero meaningful leadership in the holy cause of Slavic power." Both groups agree that Slavs are an inherently superior people who in the natural order should give orders to lesser races.

Medved's whereabouts at this time are unknown. Officials refused to say whether he was among those captured at Boris Hill, but they did admit the search for any lone members of the gang which took over the town is ongoing.

Medical supplies are being rushed up to Boris Hill from Thunder Bay via military aircraft while a CBI special investigations airship is already en route. Police officers speculate that the NWO members were trying to enact an ideal often mentioned in American Snorist literature, of creating a "pure Slavic" society in some remote region far from the "corruption" of modern society.

Forensics experts, criminal pathologists as well as other medical and mental health professionals are being pulled in from all over the province to deal with the disaster, which certainly involves (as one CBI special agent confirmed) "several dozen severely traumatized children." The same source also noted that the town's Orthodox Church had been desecrated but refused to elaborate.[DZ]


IBAP -- 27.MAR.2006 (6 Germinal CCXIV) -- Increased Personal Freedoms for Louisianne?

PARIS-SUR-MIZOURI (LA) -- President Jean-François Young stood before the National Assembly and asked for new legislation to reduce the number of Closed-Circuit Television monitoring stations around the country. “President Mitterand systematically stripped away the freedoms of Louisiannans, and I believe he would’ve effected a dictatorship, had he lived long-enough. Let us reduce the number of monitoring stations around the nation, and especially in our major cities.”

Young went on to clarify that while he wished a reduction, certain key places, like train-stations and government agencies will retain their coverage, as a matter of security. The National Assembly has adjourned to special session to review President Young’s request.[DH]


IBAP -- 23.MAR.2006 (6 Germinal CCXIV) -- ATOE Launch Success! -- JAPAN Launches Most Powerful Communications Satellite

Kingdom of Ralik & Ratak -- Today from the Equatorial cosmodrome, ATOE launched the world’s most powerful communications satellite to date. Failure was feared initially, however the second stage of the rocket did ignite and the rocket did install the satellite into a geosynchronous orbit, the first of its kind. The satellite, dubbed Worldsat 1 in western press. It will cover the Pacific Basin and even be able to pick up transmissions from Louisianne and Moscow.[DH]


IBAP -- 24.MAR.2006 -- Blast Rocks Jervan College

Muelusun (Mulhouse), High Kingdom of Jervaine -- Firefighters and police are investigating the cause of an explosion at a chemistry institute in Muelusun, which has killed one person and critically injured another. A fire continued after the blast around 1200 PMT, and a pall of thick smoke hung over the three story building, and firefighters were evacuating nearby residents for their protection.

While the cause of the explosion is not entirely clear, it has been rumored that the blast was caused by some Helvetian cuisine brought in by a Helvetian exchange student, when splashed by chemicals, and to some reports mixed with Jervan wine. No official report has yet been made. The School of Chemistry is part of a 15 acre campus in the city centre. The blast was heard as far away as 2 miles, and it broke the windows of nearby buildings.[DH]


IBAP -- 17.MAR.2006 -- Banco Nacional Buyout!

Le Caillou, (LA) -- Credit Louisiannais announced today a restructuring of management in preparation for the purchase Banco Nacional de Tejas. A parent company, Ameribank has been created with new headquarters to be centered in New Sweden because of tax-exemptions the province affords international entities. Ameribank will manage each of the daughter banks separately, allowing each to maintain their own Board of Directors, but with ultimate control remaining in the hands of the Ameribank Board of Trustees.

Final approval of the merger must have approval of the Tejan Parliament, Her Majesty Maria Gabrielle, and the Louisiannan Council. Preparations should be complete by August of this year.


NAL TODAY -- 16.MAR.2006 -- Censure Vote Reveals Party Rifts in NAL

Philadelphia (NAL) -- Senator Richard Bork (PC-Pennsylvaania) and five other Senators escaped expulsion from the upper house of Parliament today, recieving instead the still-serious official "censure" from their colleagues. A simple majority is all that is required for a censure but a two-thirds super-majority is needed for expulsion. No Senator has ever been expelled from the Senate.

The vote was not along party lines because the Progressive Conservatives split. Bork was censured 68 to 40 and that vote was typical, three short of those needed to expell. Other Senators censured were Bob Chaney (Castreleon New), Leroy Gingrich (Massacheussets Bay), Christian Delay (Mobile), Andrew Dworkin (Virginia) and Gerald Fallwell (also Virginia). All have been implicated in the "Watergap Scandal," the attempt to frame General Moderator Albert Gore in the coup which topped Jaime Bush prior to the Florida War. Four of the six (Bork, Dworkin, Chaney and Gingrich) are under indictment, while grand juries are still sitting over Delay and Fallwell.

Progressive Conservative Whip Robert O'Kinneide (Massacheussets Bay) was the leader of those insisting upon censure rather than expulsion, opposing not only the Whig majority but also indignant Senators in his own party, led by Illinoise Senator Diane Rodham. In what most observers agree is an indication of extreme dissent with the party, a clear but narrow majority of the Progressive Conservatives voted for expulsion.

Kelson Starr (Tenisi), last of the "Watergap Seven," resigned his office January 16, 2006. The Lord Governor of that province appointed Vincent Forester, a Whig, to fill out his term.

Events are considered good news for General Moderator Gore, currently trying to convince a skeptical Parliament to pass his UNICOV program of universal medical coverage.[DZ]


Asahi Ximbun -- 08.MAR.2006 (Gacudai 3, Nigaçu 2) -- Princess of Cantica Published Author

Her Imperial Highness Çuneco, Princess Heian, under the pen-name of Yasuhira Çuneco, has published her second novel, the Princess of Cantica, the sequel to her bestselling novel _The Queen of Cantica_. Readers were shocked by the opening scene, in which Queen Andaranna was assassinated. The novel chronicles the reign of her daughter Mocasani, now Queen, as she consolidates her power and seeks to punish those behind her mother's death.[NT]


Asahi Ximbun -- 19.FEB.2006 (Gacudai 3, Itxigaçu 19) -- Television Haute Cuisine?

Famed Actor Tacexi Caga has taken his toughest role to date, that of Grand-Orator Caga (主宰) in a new television series to be aired in the Japanese Empire, Montrei and Louisianne.

This new series titled "Ryòli no teçudjin", "Chefs d'Acier" or "Jefes de Asero" is set in the "Stade de Cuisine", where two world-famous chefs, one in the service of Grand-Orator Caga, and a challenger from anywhere in the world face off in a 75 minute cooking challenge. At the start of each episode, Grand-Orator Caga will reveal a secret ingredient. In the episodes that have already filmed they have used "teva" nuts (pinion pine nuts from Western Louisianne/Eastern Alta California), Sea Elephant steaks, and river eel.

As of yet, no Helvetian chefs have applied for consideration, and it is unknown if Grand-Orator Caga or the production company will seriously consider any Helvetian applications. When asked about this, Caga quipped "We're not the Colosseum, after all! We don't want any of our participants dead!"[DH]


Asahi Ximbun -- 18.FEB.2006 (Gacudai 3, Itxigaçu 18) -- Imperial Pregnancy

Quiòto (JAPAN) -- The Imperial Household Ministry has announced today that the rumors of Her Imperial Majesty being pregnant are true. According to a press release, Her Majesty is due on Gogaçu 5 [June 5] with twin boys.

The first of the two to be born will be the heir-apparent, and the second to be born is expected to be named heir to his father's house, the Alisugawa-no-miya, as well as being second in line to the throne.[NT]


NAL TODAY -- 17.FEB.2006 -- Casting Apace for "Lord of the Rings" Movies

Atlanta, Jacobia (NAL) -- In a press release yesterday, film director Hadrian Voermann has confirmed that Ethan Wright, star of such films as "The Owl" and "Witchfinder At Large" has been cast as the wizard Saruman the White. The 55-year-old actor will be playing opposite Sir Iewan Meade as Saruman's foil, Gandalf the Grey. Others in the cast so far include Nicola Vlas-Florea as Galadriel, Queen of the Elves, Viggo Peter Viggosen Mortensslækt as Aragorn, rightful king of Gondor, Beth Catensale as Arwen, Galadriel's daughter, and Johann Deppner as Frodo, the hero of Tolkien's famous epic.[DZ]


NNC -- 10.FEB.2006 -- Role of Elvish Queen Cast for LOTR Movies

Atlanta, Jacobia (NAL) -- Director Hadrian Voermann has announced that Oltenian actress Nicola Vlas-Florea will be portraying Galadriel in the upcoming film version of Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings."

Vlas-Florea does not speak English but is taking a crash course in the language while learning both her English lines and those which are in Elvish phonetically. The 23-year-old actress is the only daughter of the reigning prince of Oltenia and has garnered considerable acclaim for roles such as those in "Les frères des bêtes" (2003) and "L'Oracle" (2004). Her most recent film, "Nanette et Moi," has been touted as a masterpiece in the European, Louisianne and New Francie press. It is scheduled for American and FK release in March, with an Asian release this summer.[DZ]


IBAP -- 01.FEB.2006 (12 Pluviôse, CCXIV) -- Louisiannan Graft Investigation Continues

In response to Marie-Claire Gildersleeve's (Prefect, Saint-Onge) letter decrying the seeming "kleptocracy" of Louisianne, First-President Jean-François Young and the other members of the council have actively begun investigations.

On 1 Pluviôse CCXIV a national anti-graft bill was passed by the National Assembly and the Council. This new law requires that all persons seeking public office from An CCXIV forward will submit to an investigation of their private lives for graft. The Anti-Graft bill describes in detail the criterion that the Committee is to use in judging cases of Graft.

Opponents originally decried the broad-aspect of the bill, as it would allow political opponents to discover any and all misdeeds. However, this fear was allayed as a Committee of Council-appointed representatives would review all cases, and they would be held to strict non-disclosure agreements, the penalties for which are quite severe, allowing for 10 years in prison, should they divulge any information about a politically aspiring citizen.

"It is our hope that this new law will help bring an end to the graft that has saddled our country for so long." President Young said. "We of the council further set ourselves open for investigation by this same select committee, that our constituents may feel assured of their leaders."

Currently 50 MP's throughout the nation of Louisianne have been removed or have removed themselves from office, causing quite a stir as a great number of elections are currently being held to replace those MP's who have vacated their office.[DH]


BBC World News Service -- 03.FEB.2006 -- Khedive Ismail III of Egypt Dead at 68

ALEXANDRIA, Egypt -- The Egyptian government announced today the passing of Khedive Ismail III of kidney failure. His Excellency suffered from diabetes and had been blind since 1990. Daoud, his son, has been functioning as head of the Royal Council since 1991 and is expected to succeed him with no difficulties.

Ismail III was the nephew of the previous Khedive, Said III, whom he succeeded in 1972. Born in 1938, Ismail lived to see the Second Great War, his country achieve full independence, Nasser's coup against Said II (Ismail's cousin), the establishment then abandonment of the United Arab Republic which led to the return of the Khedives to Egypt.

Egyptian Moderator Mehmed Mubarak issued a statement, calling the late Ismail "A man who followed his conscience and did his duty as he saw fit, with what wisdom Allah had given him, which was more than given to most men."

The Royal Council must confirm the 35-year-old Daoud in his new position, which is expected to be routine. Calls for the abolition of the Khediveship from the National Republican Party are also expected, but will almost certainly lead nowhere. Daoud is a graduate of Egypt's Air Force Academy and has a law degree from the Sorbonne. He is as yet unmarried and speculation about his marital plans are likely to increase. Some controversy broke out in Egypt last year when he openly dated Oltenian actress (and daughter of the ruling prince) Nicola Vlas-Florea, fueling some speculation about their plans. Like all the Khedives, Daoud is a Sunni Muslim. Vlas-Florea is Catholic. His mother, however, was related to the Scots of Egypt (a widespread minority in Egypt's cities), as was his paternal grandmother. It is from them it is believed he got his dark blue eyes, which are sometimes the stuff of humor or satire.

Ismail III will be buried in the tomb he had arranged. In accordance with Muslim custom, it is simple structure low to the ground but part of a much larger complex devoted to charitable works--in this case, a clinic for the treatment of diabetes.[DZ]


Wita Warsiny -- 31.JAN.2006 -- Convention Center Collapse in RTC

Piniat, RTC -- A pigeon exposition was destroyed Saturday last as the roof of a Venedian convention center collapsed in the city of Piniat, near the Bohemian border. Among the missing was leader of the Oficz Dziefiêcy Statu (Office for the Defense of the State) Roman Kosciolany. Original death tolls were feared in the hundreds, but have been revised to 65 in the four days following the tragic collapse.

Mr. Kosciolany was found safe in a neighborhood bar-bistro where he had retired for dinner. Investigations are being coordinated between the local police and the ODP, as this event could be perceived as an attempt on the life of Mr. Kosciolany. It is more likely that the structure foundered under the weight of snow, which is heavily blanketing all of Northern Europe this Winter.[DH]


INTERBALKPRESS -- 23.JAN.2006 -- Train Crash Kills Dozens in Dalmatia

RAGUZA, Dalmatia -- A train heading north from Bulgaria to Kampa da Miarle was derailed late yesterday afternoon. The train then descended into a deep and rocky ravine, and dozens if not more of the 300 passengers are feared dead.

Initial reports suggested that this may be sabotage by militants from the Islamic Republic of Sanjak, however, this was later disproved when the driver explained there was no response when he had pushed the brakes.

A representative for Aurial Ybl said that "The whole republic has been mobilised to save lives. We are all hoping that this terrible accident will have as few casualties as possible."

Arsen Yotov, leader of Bulgaria was unavailable for comment.[DH]


IBAP -- 21.JAN.2006

SAN DIEGO, Alta California -- Two Louisiannans are wounded and chaos reigns in the East of Los Angeles Province today. In the final planned stop of the Louisiannan mercy-mission an armed gunman stepped from the crowd, shooting at Jean-François Young.

While a security forces endeavored to capture, and later even track down the assailant, their efforts were fruitless. The two Louisiannans, whose names have not yet been released are listed in stable condition, and both are expected to make a full recovery.

When asked about the attack, President Young was quick to say "It comes with the territory."[DH]


IBAP -- 19.JAN.2006 -- Louisiannan Humanitarian Effort

SAN DIEGO, Alta California -- As a gesture by Louisianne to those affected by Arsenic poisoning from early mining efforts, Jean-François Young and the best doctors of Louisianne have been visiting settlements in the provinces of Los Angeles and San Diego. Many Californios have been treated, and the local medical centers have been supplied with the appropriate medications to treat the poisoning.

The Louisiannan government has coordinated with the the government in San Diego, and has promised to continue these medical visits for at least two years.[DH]


De Telegraaf -- 12 January, 2006 -- Markermeer or Markerwaard?

Amsterdam, Kingdom of Batavia -- Reporters and news agencies were sent scrambling today in the capital as Her Majesty Queen Beatrice d'Orange asked for debate to be re-opened as to the status of the Markermeer. As part of the Zuiderzee Works, the Markerwaarddijk was constructed in 1976, separating the Markermeer from the IJsselmeer in preparation for construction of the Markerwaard.

At the time of its construction, the Markerwaarddijk not only separated the shallow Markermeer (slightly deeper than one pertica) from the IJsselmeer, but opened a rift in the country.

Due to the nature of the peat-bog soils of the Netherlands every drainage project affects the soil levels of the surrounding polders, or diked off regions.

At the time, it was -- and it continues to be -- very strongly believed that construction of the Markerwaard would cause great damage to the city of Hoorn, a one time port city. Since then, the Markermeer has remained a fresh-water reservoir, which has served to bolster dikes in the recent drought.

The Queen's motion, however, is not unexpected, with the ecological success of the Frisian island construction, the Waddeneilanden Project. This project has been undertaken with the utmost devotion to ecotopic principles, creating new regions for species that haven't been able to live in Batavia for years.

The Queen suggested that the debates also consider dividing the Markerwaard into ecological regions to further strengthen the ecology, but also allow for increased growth in the region, growth which has been seen to be fantastic in the recently reclaimed Floveland polders.

The debate is expected to range over many topics and could possibly last for several years. When asked what she intended to happen with the debate, the Queen said simply, "I want discussion. I want the best minds to come to bear on this subject, and I want the best decision to be made for the Batavian people."[DH]


IBAP -- 10.JAN.2006 (20 Nivôse, CCXIV) -- GRAFT INVESTIGATION CONTINUES

Baton-Rouge, Saint-Onge (LA) -- Prefect Marie-Claire Gildersleeve announced today that the investigation of graft in the Prefecture of Saint-Onge is on-going. “We’ve found evidence of graft at many levels. A number of our MP’s have been implicated, sadly, but the investigation will go forward.”

Notable MPs that have been implicated are the representatives from La Salle, MP Claude DeBellevue, and MP Robert Chappuis. From Côte de Chataigne, MPs Yves Chaisson, and Samuel Fremaux. Rumor suggests that Louis Arcenaux (MP Loire-Neuf) may also be implicated.

In the official press release from the prefect’s office, official charges have not yet been filed against the MPs but the Procureur will most likely bring charges of délits graves against the offending MPs, including Bribery, Extortion, and possibly Criminal Negligence for those that directly affected the state of the levees around New Orleans.

As part of her findings, Mme. Gildersleeve has addressed a public letter to President Young demanding that he conduct a similar investigation nation-wide to root out graft. “Louisianne may have been a kleptocracy in times past, but I believe that the public is tired of it, as are we, their highest elected leaders.” Gildersleeve stated. “I’ve heard Louisianne referred to as a Helvetian minceloaf with a good crust. Well, It’s time to clean out the unsavory parts of this minceloaf to make it edible again.”[DH]


NEW AMSTERDAM TIMES -- 05.01.2006 -- State of the League Address Touts Health Plan

PHILADELPHIA -- General Moderator Albert Gore, seeking to take advantage of the disarray within the ranks of the Progressive Conservative Party, used this years State of the League address to unveil several large-scale healthcare programmes to Parliament. Dubbing the changes "UniCov", which are to replace the MediCov program in place since the 1970s, Mr Gore outlined how the national government would ensure universal health care coverage between now and 2012 by gradually taking over direct administration of the health insurance industry, hospitals above a certain size, clinics above a certain size and assume responsibility for all medical regulation throughout the League. Calling this "the best, most reasonable method of leaving no American without vital health care," Mr Gore refered to the growing AIDS epidemic as well as the medical problems involving atomic fallout from the Florida War, and thousands impacted by the spate of furacanoes last year. "No longer dare we say that past remedies are good enough," said the General Moderator, "when faced with present and future crises."

To coordinate parliamentary efforts in implement his agenda, Gore also announced Carolina Deputy Ion Edwards would be taking over as Minister of Health and Public Welfare. Edwards, a close associate of GM Gore, is the favorite to replace him as the Whig General Moderator candidate in 2010. Putting him in charge of such an important part of Mr Gore's agenda is seen by many as a test of Edwards' viability on the national stage.

Progressive Conservative leaders, still reeling from the disclosures of fraud and malfeasance in regards to the Watergap Scancal, had mixed reaction's to the proposed UniCov Program. Massachussets Bay Senator John Robert O'Kinneide—recently restored to his post as Opposition Whip following the resignation of his predecessor—said "The General Moderator's proposal deserves serious consideration, but not a blanket approval from the legislature. It is more than simply our job to look over these ideas. It is our duty to apply strict criteria, to demand precise answers as to how these changes are to be implemented, and to offer our own ideas into the debate over the future of American citizens."

Illinoise Senator Diane Rodham was less diplomatic. "UniCov is pretty clearly a call for monopoly," she said on Friday morning. "It is nothing more than taking advantage of a situation to take choices away from ordinary Americans." A frequent rival of Senator O'Kinneide, Rodham is the shadow Minister of Health and Public Welfare.

Provincial reactions so far have essentially split along party lines, although even Whig executives like Lord Governor Warhorse were less than totally supportive. "Many questions remain to be answered about the General Moderator's proposal" the Cherokee ouka said in a press release.[DZ]


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