All news stories are submitted by participants in Ill Bethisad, all of whom are welcome to submit stories from their respective parts of Ill Bethisad. Submissions may be edited for clarity, language or style.
National News Corporation -- 15.DEC.2007 -- ROYAL ENGAGEMENT ANNOUNCED
ROME -- Prominent members of two royal families formally announced
their engagement today. Ambassador Nicolae Vlas-Florea, heir to the
principality of Oltenia, is now engaged to wed Antonia Guelph, younger
sister of Mantua's Queen Bianca and Italy's current Minister of
Foreign Affairs.
Vlas-Florea, whose first cousin Nicola is currently filming THE
FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING in Oregon (she plays Galadriel), has long been
considered one of Europe's most eligible bachelors. He has escorted
Philly Gore and Portia Moon as well as many others to a variety of
events. He and Guelph have been rumored to be romantically involved
for months. They even attended the coronation of the Tejano monarch
Juan Carlos together, and were seen holding hands. He speaks fluent
Italian. Guelph, who shares with her fiancee a passion for fencing,
likewise has described Oltenia to be "one of her favorite countries."
She has turned down several marriage proposals in the past.
A certain amount of political debate in the Italian Senate and Chamber
of Deputies followed the announcement (made jointly by the Mantuan and
Oltenian legates in Rome). Guelph is Latin Rite Catholic while Vlas-Florea is
Eastern Rite. While theologically this presents no hindrance, it does
stir up feelings regarding the Great Schism between Catholic and
Orthodox Churches. More concretely, a question of
conflict-of-interests as well as succession arose. Guelph is second in
line for Mantua's throne. Likewise, Vlas-Florea is heir to the
princely throne of his country in the Romanian Federation. Some
commentators immediately recalled the ill-fated marriage of Kemr's
Constantine I with England and Scotland's Mary II.
Likewise, in Oltenia's Council of Boyars and Forum of Delegates
questions were immediately asked about the location of the ceremony,
its form, and where the couple would make their primary residence. Details are yet to be forthcoming.[DZ]
">Australasian Press Association -- 13.DEC.2007 -- Loyalist Walkout Threatens Tokelavian Self Government
FAKAOFO -- A number of local leaders loyal to the Fijian monarchy have
walked out of Tokelau's constitutional convention, drawing harsh
criticism from Fiji and threatening to paralyze Tokelau's creation
of a constitution before it enters its second month.
According to interviews with the disgruntled defecting delegates,
debate for the last three weeks has centered on a provision naming
King Thakombao V of Fiji as Tokelau's head of state. "The problem,"
explains Ake Liang, an elder from Nukunonu council, "is that we
voted for free association [with Fiji], but everyone has his own
idea what that means. We can't imagine Tokelau thriving without
Fiji's protection. We feel very strongly about this."
A spokesman for King Thakombao told APA that his government has
always assumed that the Fijian monarchy would play a role in a
future Tokelauan state. "His Supreme Potency would never have
approved the Tokelauans' referendum if he had not been assured that
the islanders would forever acknowledge him as their rightful
sovereign. He and many in His Potency's government were shown many
drafts of the supposed future constitution that explicitly named him
as such. That they are going back on these promises now is the
height of arrogance. If these actions persist, His Supreme Potency
may reconsider his hasty approval of their presumptuous convention."
For their part, the leaders of Tokelau's independence movement,
including the head of the traditional chiefly family, Luk Havaiki,
have stepped up their rhetoric as well. "What goes on here should
be of no concern to Na Ratu," Havaiki told reporters, using
Thakombao's Fijian chiefly title. "We have voted for independence.
We took sovereignty for ourselves. Na Ratu has no more right to
grant his royal assent to us than he would to the north wind.
Whether we choose to remain in his realm is our business." The
word "tokelau", incidentally, means "north wind" in several
Polynesian languages.
According to Gwillam King, Professor of Oceanian Studies and
Political Science at the University of Perth, Fiji's actions should
surprise no one. "We're talking about a monarch who calls
himself `Holder of the Mana and Master of All he Surveys,' and he
says it without blushing, mate," explains Prof. King. "He was under
lots of pressure from both the Commonwealth and the Austro[nesian]
League to let the Tokelauans do this, but most of us expected him to
shuffle his feet when the pressure was off."
Meanwhile, in Tokelau, tensions are running high. The small
contingent of Aotearoan security forces, charged with keeping the
peace during the convention, are now regularly patrolling the area
around the meeting place on Fakaofu. Loyalists and separatists
demonstrate on the atollperhaps the first political demonstrations
ever seen in this diminutive island chain.
The local leaders remain divided. Loyalists are hoping that their
walkout will force a compromise without bringing down confrontation
with Fiji. Explains Elder Liang, "I for one don't want to paddle
alone here. We're very small, and we would do well to remain on
good terms with the Fijians." [BK]
Australasian Press Association -- 11.DEC.2007 -- CAMEL FLU STRIKES HARD!; NEW COURT OF COORDINATORS
SEDNIR -- With the dreadful Horse Flu entering its 4th month of ravagement, the Sednir Racing Commission has found a novel way to attract punters. Camels will be imported from the Great Corridor Territory to take part in track races.
Australasian camel races, already popular in the northern part of the
territory, find their origin in the races held by immigrant Afghan cameleers who came to this country in the xix century. Between long treks across the desert, carying goods before rail service was established, the cameleers
would race each other for the cheering crowds of locals.[MP]
A new Court of Coordinators was named today by the Court of
Representatives. The previous Court had been seated for the last
eleven years and it was felt that the time for Court membership renewal had come in the face of succesive interest rate increases.[MP]
Australasian Press Association -- 19.NOV.2007 -- Tokelauans Open Constitutional Convention
FAKAOFO, TOKELAU -- One month after beginning its referendum to
secede from Fijian Polynesia, the island chain of Tokelau opened the Fono, or meeting, that has been chosen to draft a constitution for Tokelau, as
well as a treaty of free association that will represent Tokelau's desired future relationship with its former colonizer, Fiji.
The convention has much work ahead, including answering such basic questions as whether Tokelau will be a kingdom or a republic. Luk Havaiki, the most likely potential aliki, or king, will be part of the convention, as will 39 others chosen by village elders on all four Tokelauan atolls over the last three weeks. Havaiki would not speak to reporters.
The convention meets amid rising tension over the islands' future course. Just yesterday, pro-independence agitators pelted the Aotearoan consulate
on Fakaofo with stones, apparently protesting that country's continued
presence of 20 Aotearoan military policemen. The troops were brought
to the island to help ensure security during the important
referendum. The Fijian government has asked them to stay for the
duration of the constitutional convention, against the wishes of
Tokalauan local leaders. "
Last week, one of the Tokelauan delegates in the Assembly of Fijian
Polynesia physically assaulted a Samoan delegate who had been making rude noises during a speech announcing Tokelau's new status.
Kolouei Ua Briain, local faipule, or elected leader, of the archipelago, urged his countrymen to remain calm, but also said, "Te Arikinui te Aotearoa must respect our right to self-determination. We no longer require the presence of his troops on Fakaofo."[BK]
Australasian Press Association -- 14.NOV.2007 -- Fistfight in Assembly of Fijian Polynesia after Tokelau Announces Independence
FAKAOFO, TOKELAU -- Fisticuffs broke out in the Assembly of Fijian Polynesia today
between Delegate Aufai Tuia, representing the Tokelauan islands of
Nukunonu and Atafu, and Delegate Mamea Va'ai, from Upolu in Samoa.
Tuia had just stepped down from the dais, where he had formally
announced Tokelau's decision to withdraw from the Fijian dependency,
which consists of a number of island groups in the central Pacific.
During Tuia's speech, in which he described the results of Tokelau's
Fiji-approved referendum for free association, passed 26 October,
and expressed a desire for good future relations with Fiji and all
its dependent islands, Va'ai and at least two other delegates could
be heard jeering loudly. Tuia finished his speech, but on his way
back to his seat, he suddenly lashed out at Va'ai, who had a seat
near the aisle.
A brawl erupted between the two men which was stopped by Kolouei Ua
Briain, Tokelau's local leader, and Luk Havaiki, head of Tokelau's
chiefly family, both of whom rushed forward to restrain Tuia. Va'ai
attempted to deliver another punch while Tuia was restrained, but
was stopped by delegates sitting near him. Both men were escorted
out of the assembly chamber by security personnel.
The fistfight culminates a two-week-long war of words between
Tokelau and other parts of Fijian Polynesia, most of which remain
Fijian loyalists and doubt whether Tokelau, a tiny archipelago of
four atolls and just over two thousand inhabitants, can survive on
its own.
Neither Ua Briain, Havaiki, nor any Samoan officials cared to
comment on the incident.
Following the announcement, the Assembly took a short recess, and
then voted to officially recognize the Tokelauan referendum and its
upcoming constitutional convention. Most delegates from the Samoan
islands abstained from the vote.[BK]
WUCZ FLORYDZIE -- 6.NOV.2007 -- BAMBARYŁA TIRED OF ACCUSATIONS
MIAMI -- ? Governor-general Jużeń Bambaryła is tired of all the false
accusations directed at his person in the foreign press. ?It is
preposterous?, he told our reporter in an interview this morning.
?I've been doing this job for almost sixteen months now, and all I've
been hearing is criticism, criticism, criticism. I am sick of it!?
About a number of untruthful articles, publiced last week by the BBC,
among others regarding the situation in our temporary relocation
camps, Bambaryła noted: ?I used to think of the BBC as a fairly
independent and honourable broadcasting station. But now, seeing what
evil kind of lies they are disseminating, I know better. And the
worst thing is: they don't even hesitate to tell the folks our press
is not free. We, the country with the longest tradition of democracy
and free press in the world, a country that has always upheld the
values of personal freedom. I don't know on whose payroll they are,
but I can tell you this: they are spreading the worst kind of
propaganda possible.?
?Our job here is far from easy. As if rebuilding a devastated country
weren't hard enough, we have to deal with armed pockets of former
buszyści and other bandits, supported both militarily and financially
by foreign powers and backed by imperialist countries that want
Florida for themselves. And the so-called free press in those
countries is paying tribute to their governments' colonial
endeavours, trying to discredit us by accusing us of the weirdest
things one can imagine.?
?Any journalist from any country is welcome to come and see for
himself what the conditions in our temporary relocation camps are
really like. They will be astonished to see what we have accomplished
here, how beautiful our cities have become, and how much the people
of Florida appreciate our work. I will happily show them the truth;
I'm even willing to give them a guided tour personally.?[JvS]
HIGH-RANKING BUSHIST OFFICIAL ARRESTED
LITU PALMÓR OSZCZEDZIĘTAŁÓR (West Palm Beach) -- ? A major success was
accomplished yesterday evening with the arrestation of Silverio
Gonzalez-Morales, a former professor of history at the University de
las Caribbeas. ?This is a very important accomplishment indeed?,
colonel Andrzej Sasiny of the CzBAF1 said on a press conference this
morning.
?Gonzalez-Morales was a major associate of the Bush regime, a
pseudo-scientist who poisoned the minds of Florida's youth for many
years with lies and bushist propaganda. Three years ago, he
deliberately blew up his house, not only for the insurance money, but
also in order to disappear quietly from the scene and go unnoticed as
an anonymous inhabitant of one of our temporary relocation camps near
the Everglades. He abused our hospitality, spreading bushist
propaganda among its inhabitants and trying to stir up a rebellion
against us. We have reason to believe he also was a high-ranking
agent of the NAL, acting as a liaison officer between them and the
bushist underground.?
?Thankfully, it was the BBC that put us on his trail. Yesterday
night, a team of commandos caught him by surprise in the camp. He
surrendered without much resistance before being pulled into our
arrestation van. We currently hold him on a secret location for
questioning. We believe he can provide us with valuable information
regarding his allies.?
?Good riddance?, says Laura Gonzaga, one of his closest neighbours in
the camp. ?Silverio was a weirdo, a really frustrated man. We all
felt there was something wrong with him. He never talked much about
his past. Of course not, he was ashamed of it. But what we really
hated him for was that he always had something to complain about our
benefactors from the RTC. He constantly wanted us to conspire against
them, making a fuss about virtually everything, but of course no one
would believe him. I'm glad he's finally gone now.?
Her husband Carlos nods in agreement. ?A troublemaker. Can't have
that kind of people around here. I hope he's going to be tortured?,
he says, giving his wife a loving smile. ?Sooner or later, democracy
will prevail here in Florida, thanks to the RTC.?[JvS]
CHICAGO SIGNALER -- 6.NOV.2007 -- Gray Sworn In, Cuomo Takes Center Chair -- Inductees call for unity, compassion, and an end to 'illusions which divide us' -- By EVELYN MOORE , Chicago Signaler
PHILADELPHIA -- Echoing one another's calls for unity in a challenging time, Rhode
Island's the Rt. Hon. Taylor Gray was sworn in yesterday as the 14th
Scottish Viceroy of the SLC, while Kemrese Viceroy the Most Hon.
Matthew Mario Cuomo ascended to the First Viceregal position.
Addressing the Convention and gathered dignitaries from all 33
provinces, Gray delivered a fairly vague inaugural speech, usual for
a junior member of the Viceregal College, praising the spirit of
freedom that unites the NAL and calling for unity in times ahead.
Cuomo, on the other hand, addressed specific issues, sending a clear
message that she intends to be an activist vice-regent. His theme
of unity was similar to Gray's, but he was willing to criticize
those who "cling to so many illusions which divide usthe
superficialities of language, culture, political alignment, and
social class."
Cuomo alluded to the economic disparity between the Floridian
Provinces and the rest of the NAL, saying, "We must not tolerate
such disparities between the old and new provinces. We must find a
way to meet the needs of all who approach the Council Fire."
The comments came as the Great Convention is divided anew over
issues relating to Florida. As some parliamentarians still smart
from the lingering effects of the Watergap Scandal, recent
disheartening news from South Florida has left many MPs arguing over
whether and how to admit refugees from the war zone just south of
our borders.
Gray and Cuomo formally took office yesterday in a ceremony in which
the pomp and circumstance of the NAL's most significant state
function saw some interesting new changes. One was the presence of
the outgoing Scottish and First Viceroy, the Most Hon. Bruce
Stanfield, who broke with precedent to attend the investiture. Both
Gray and Cuomo took time in their speeches to praise Stanfield,
certainly one of the most popular First Viceroys in recent years.
Another change was Gray's regalia. As the first female Viceroy,
many observers had wondered what kind of figure she would cut in
Scottish court dress and horsehair wig. Her gown, in the end, was
only subtly different from that of her male predecessors, accented
by the addition of a muted lace collar.
As usual, the chiefly attire of Native Viceroy the Rt. Hon. Ben
Nighthorse Campbell of Les Plaines turned the most heads. The eagle
feathers on his head and his mace made him stand out noticeably from
his peers in their comparatively stuffy heraldic gowns.
Throughout the lengthy ceremony, both Cuomo and Gray appeared
relaxed and at ease. Gray in particular had a swing to her step and
occasionally broke into a spontaneous smile that lightened the
solemnity of the occasion. Cuomo sat in the center throne with the
dignity befitting his office, but at one point could not resist
exchanging a grin with his nine-year-old granddaughter, Mari,
daughter of Cuomo's daughter, Elizabeth Cuomo Cynsie.[BK]
WRW 1 -- ECHO DZEI -- 3.NOV.2007
[BEGIN RADIO TRANSCRIPT]
"It is 22:05, outside it is 10°R, and this is the Echo of the
Day."
[JINGLE]
"Good evening, dear listeners. International controversy is growing
over the Republic's policies in Southeast Florida, especially when it
comes to the situation in the camps, built over three years ago for
the victims of several subsequent furacanoes. Our government is under
heavy attack from the international press after the BBC World Service
published some alarming news regarding the life conditions in those
camps. Earlier today, Jewan Sobociny had an interview about the
matter with Paweł Bościciału, minister of colonies."
JS: "Mr. Minister, the Caribbean Desk of the BBC has released some
quite alarming news about the situation in Southeast Florida, and the
world press seems to be picking it up. Is our government going to
issue an official response yet?"
PB: "For now, I don't believe these rumours deserve our government's
attention. We honestly have better things to do."
JS: "I see. Yet, there are reports about the conditions in the
so-called "temporary relocation camps" in Southeast Florida.
According to the BBC, people are kept there by force, and under less
than human conditions. What is your comment to that?"
PB: "That it is complete nonsense. Of course, there are people who
always have something to complain about. Whatever you do for them, it
is never good enough! Do you know what the truth is about these
camps? Do you know the truth about them? Well then, I will tell you.
When three years ago Florida was ravaged, first by a junta of madmen,
then by a war, and subsequently by a whole set of furacanoes, we
gathered all our forces to save the people from these disasters. Not
out of self-interest, but just because we felt it was our sacred duty
as a Christian nation. And so, without having much experience or
know-how, we collected millions of talars, gathered hundreds of
experts from the RTC and abroad, sent them to Florida, engineers,
construction workers, doctors, entertainers and the like... We built
these camps in no time, but I'm proud to say we did a really decent
job with them. We saved many lives, and people lived under really
comfortable circumstances in those camps. They got the best food they
had had for years; they had the chance to consume the finest Venedic
dishes on a daily base, things they had never even dreamt of trying!
New communities were built, new friendships flourished... Of course,
we had to send most people back home after the weather had cooled
down and their houses had been rebuilt. But you know what? A lot of
them didn't even WANT to go back home. Women came to our commanders
and begged them on their knees to allow them to stay a bit longer.
One man even commited suicide! In his goodbye note, he wrote that in
the camp he had finally found happiness and that he'd rather die than
to return to his old, lonesome life. Of course, we had to be tough
and send those people back home anyway. And you know what? They left
with tears in their eyes, baked cakes for the soldiers and thanked
them for what they called 'the most beautiful vacation they had ever
had in their entire life'! And that is the truth, Mr. Sobociny!"
JS: "But those disasters, that was three years ago, Mr. Minister. How
come these camps haven't been dismantled yet?"
PB: "There are several reasons for that. The devastating force of the
furacanoes has been enormous. And although we have put a huge effort
in rebuilding the destroyed real estate, we are not quite finished
yet. But, although our means are limited, I'm proud to say that we
have completed about 4/5 of our task. If the weather will cooperate
with us, we expect to be done within a year. Now, Mr. Sobociny, you
will have to admit that that is pretty quick, especially taking into
consideration how we used to get things done in the RTC before the
ŻŻŻ took over."
JS: "Well..."
PB: "There is another thing, too. Every now and then small pockets of
terrorists perform random attacks on the civilian population. You
remember what happened in Kinnessee last June, right? A group of
bandits attacked the town by surprise and literally massacred the
population. Many of whom were people who had just returned home from
one of our relocation camps. Afterwards, of course, we wiped them
out, but the evil had already been done. Anyway, to protect the
Floridians from further attacks, we found it safer to temporarily
transform the temporary relocation camps into fortified settlements.
Under those circumstances, our soldiers are at least able to protect
the people more efficiently from terrorist attacks."
JS: "Yes, according to the BBC, there is a true guerrilla war going
on in Florida."
PB: "Far from that. Believe me, Mr. Sobociny, there no appreciable
guerrila activity beyond small bands of ill-equipped and failing
rebels hiding out in the swamps. Almost all buszyści have been locked
up in prisons or reeducation camps. Thanks to us, most Floridians
live in peace. But it is true that there are elements from the margin
of Florida's society who are trying to profit from other people's
trouble. No resistance or anything, just ordinary criminals.
Murderers. Bandits. They aren't fighting for anybody's sake but their
own."
JS: "You seem to take it almost personally, Mr. Minister."
PB: "Well, I very much hope we can wipe out this violence once and
for all. That's the least we can do for the Floridians."
JS: "There are rumours that governor-general Bambaryła has even been
using death squads to fight these terrorists."
PB: "None of that is true. We fight crime, but would never use
illegitimate means for that."
JS: "Let us return to the relocation camps, then. There are rumours
that say people are not allowed to their previous homes because the
best of the rebuilt buildings have been confisquated by RTC
officials. Is that true?"
PB: "That is pure nonsense. Even the highest-ranking officials live
under far from luxurious circumstances. I should add that the real
estate they use was previously the property of bushist officials,
most of whom are either dead or in prison anyway. In some cases, part
of these houses still lie in ruins. Of course, all the thousands of
doctors, specialists, construction workers, lawyers, artists,
scientists and policemen also need to live somewhere. But I assure
you, Mr. Sobociny, our people in Florida live under very moderate
circumstances. And definitely not in houses that have ever been the
property of honest people."
JS: "I see, Mr. Minister. Please allow me to change the subject then
and let's talk about the future. It has been more than a year now
since the Inicjaciwa Czywiła Kętra Okupaceń Florydzie was launched.
Government has been silent regarding our future plans in Florida. How
long do you think the RTC will stay in Florida? When will we finally
hand over power to the Floridians themselves?"
PB: "That is hard to say. From the first day on, we have pledged
ourselves to the task of restoring peace in Southeast Florida and
guiding the people of Florida towards a democratic society. At first,
we thought that might be a matter of a few years, at most. But the
truth is, Floridian society is rotten to the core. By now, we have
made tens of thousands of arrests, but there is still a strong
opposition. To put it simply, democracy isn't rooted at all in
Florida. The banana republic mentality is still strong. Besides, we
had expected more cooperation from the side of our allies. Who would
have expected that they will only make our task harder?"
JS: "Harder? In what sense?"
PB: "Look at what is going on in the Irish ZOC! The Irish, despite
their best intentions, are completely out of control there. Their
zone is falling apart into tiny little mini-states, most of them
privately owned by former Bush adepts. The NAL is just waiting for an
occasion to incorporate the rest of Florida, just like they did to
the North. Cuba is seeking the restoration of former
Florida-Caribbea... and even Castille and Leon are seeking to
recolonise Florida. To serve their own interests, all of them are
trying to undermine our authority, providing these so-called rebels
with money and weapons. No, Mr. Sobociny, it is sad, but we are
surrounded by enemies. And that is why our presence in Florida is
needed. Not for our own sake, but because we are morally obliged to
spare the Floridians the fate of being usurped by those who intend to
exploit them."
JS: "And that's why Southeast Florida's borders are hermetically
closed all the time, right?"
PB: "Unfortunately, it is the only way. Of course, from time to time
our enemies succeed in smuggling spies and agents provocateurs into
our zone. These agents, called "noticias" by some, even manage their
way into the relocation camps in order to disseminate Bushist
propaganda. But we know how to deal with them."
JS: "You are undoubtedly aware of the fact that many, not only in
Florida and abroad but also in our own Republic, rather tend to see
US as the exploiters."
PB: "That is one out of many examples of hostile propaganda. We do
not exploit anybody. The contrary is true, we support Florida will
all the means at our disposition. We have rebuilt musea, concert
halls, art galleries, palaces, and keep on building new ones. In
spite of all the trouble, Southeast Florida is flourishing like it
never has. As long as the people of Florida appreciate our efforts,
and they really don't have a single reason not to, I don't see why we
should leave their country prematurely."
JS: "Thank you very much for this conversation, Mr. Minister."[JVS]
[END TRANSCRIPT]
BBC World News, Caribbean Desk -- 31.OCT.2007 -- Some News is Good News
St. Augustine, East Florida -- Early in 2007, the BBC sent
several clandestine reporters into
both the RTC and Irish ZOCs in war ravaged southern Florida
in order to assess the current
situation in those territories. News in general from the
remaining occupied territories is
scant at best, even from the more open Irish Zone, where
the press is controlled but not suppressed
the way it is in the RTC Zone. Thousands of pages of
material (some written by Floridian underground
journalists, most written by the BBC team) have been
archived, the following of which is but a tiny sample. Of
the six reporters sent into southern Florida, four have
returned
home; one was killed during an uprising in the Kissimee
province; the other is suspected to
have been imprisoned by RTC occupying forces on charges of
espionage.
***
Reports from the Irish Zone, while not as rosy as the
official Irish press releases would have
us believe, are not all bad. Most western Floridians are
resigned to the Irish plan to "germanise"
their homeland by slicing up the already small territory
into several tiny micro lands. Juan
Guerrero of Tampa summed up the feelings of many: "Of
course I would rather see a united Florida -
maybe even as a single American province. I don't like the
idea of being cut off from my family
in Puerto Plata or Sunibel. Before, we could just go there.
Now, we have to stop at Irish check
points and eventually, they tell us, there will be borders
and new passports and new money. That
will suck! We just want them (the Irish) to home and leave
us in peace." On a more positive note, Jaime Baleros of the
Cabo Sunibel region is exstatic: "My family
have owned resorts and islands in the area for years. This
will be a boon for us, once the place
settles down a little and we can welcome the tourists back!
Once everything is settled, we plan to
secede from Sunibel and have our own kingdom like that
Prince Leonard in English Australasia! We'll
sell stamps and things worldwide and tourists will flock to
the littlest kingdom in North America!
Gracias, Irlanda! We would never have seen such potential
for growth if you hadn't occupied us!"
The Irish Plan to germanise the region is not being well
met among Floridian leadership in Tampa.
Most of the present cadre of leaders have been in office
since before the downfall of the Bush regime,
and have proven to be staunch "Destinoes" -- decidedly
pro-Florida and anti-Irish. Their constituents
in Tampa are also decidedly against the Plan. Fully 60% of
polled locals believe the Plan will destroy
what little is left in the war-torn and collapsed economy.
As it is, most residents of Tampa are living
on the dole, and it is felt that territories as small as
the proposed countries and provinces will
not be self sustaining. Others, mostly in the resort areas,
believe they will fare better on account of the promise of
tourism pounds just waiting to flow in this Winter if all
goes well with the Plan.
***
News from eastern Florida is much much worse. Most eastern
Floridians are still residing in "temporary
relocation camps" and "relocation communities", even three
years after the war and furacanoes that ravaged the land in
2004. Oddly
enough, many of the homes of the camp refugees were
untouched by either man-made or natural disaster. It is
unclear what happened, but some high-ranking Scandinavian
officers are said by RTC officials to hold the deeds to
large tracts of attrractive real estate in the region, so
the people that once lived there no longer have the right
to return to their previous homes.
They are the thousands of victims of vindictive
Scandinavian and complacent RTC forces. Maribel Rodrigues,
residing in a camp in La Palma district, voices the
frustration and anger of most eastern Floridians:
"They are evil! All these European invaders and bad men!
They had no right to attack us; and now they've
forced us out of our homes and here we are living in
crowded shacks! I lost my husband in the war, and
two of my three children in this filthy camps. I can't even
speak of what those madmen did to us the night
they invaded... They don't give us enough food, there's not
enough water,
they never fix the toilets, they don't let us out of the
camp. Some people get in and out and are able
to bring us news of relatives and from outside the country.
They keep moving us around, though. We've
lived in four different camps since the war."
Though there is no free press to speak of in the RTC ZOC,
the BBC has amassed credible reports of rebel
groups operating throughout the RTC's territory, often
engaging in open warfare against RTC troops. Officially,
there is "no appreciable guerrila activity beyond small
bands of ill-equipped and failing rebels hiding out in the
swamps". The reality seems to be quite different. The
official press has decried both the legitimate aid
sent from the NAL's East Florida to Las Palmas and
"clandestine arms export and illegitimate monetary aid"
sent by private groups in the NAL to the various militant
groups along the border. While there is some truth to the
allegations (historically, arms and money have been flowing
from the NAL to Floridian guerillas since the mid xix
century), arms
and money are known to be arriving from Cuba and Castile as
well. Antonio Freeman of Miami is a wounded
"veterano" of the guerrila war in the Everglades: "At first
we were fighting for Florida-Caribbea and
Sr Bush (not that loco Silva-Gonzales) -- we wanted to
restore Florida to the Floridians and bring the
peace we had before the war to the whole Caribbean. But
now, we're just fighting to wear down these
Vikings and their lapdog occupiers. They've got many of us
in concntration camps, but not all of us! Some
of us are willing to wear them down and send them packing
back home! They're weak and their idiotic
treatment of our people have only served to strengthen the
Floridians' will to survive and restore
what was stolen from us!"
Dr Silverio Gonzales-Morales, former history professor at
Miami's Universidad de las Caribbeas, was interviewed
in a camp near the Everglades. "The recent history of
Florida-Caribbea -- for F-C this land remains, in
spite of an illegally enacted war of invasion and
subsequent occupation -- has been a sad one and serves
mostly
to instruct us on the natures of invader, occupier and
occupied. If the Norsemen sought to slap our military
for an ill-advised coup and an even more ill-advised use of
an atomic weapon, that's all well and good.
There is no sense in denying the lunacy of Silva-Gonzales
and his cadre of inept followers. However, the
Norsemen went a step too far in raping and pillaging this
country. Bringing the Commonwealth into the affray
only serves to steele our resolve against invaders and
occupiers. The inept and reprehensible transfer of
colonial authority from Scandinavia to the RTC served to
galvanise those who were previously 'on the fence'.
No one in this country has been unaffected by the
occupation. Some of us have family who are now American
citizens, and we wish them well. Others live in the west
under Irish occupation. We have learned a little
about their plans and schemes to cut up the country and
revitalise the place. The Irish seem a sensible
people and are not guilty of the atrocities and war crimes
that the Scandinavians and RTC forces are guilty
of. Though I am sure our western cousins will ultimately be
happy, we know they have no great love for the
Irish, and it should come as no surprise that we in the
east loathe all foreign invaders to the utmost.
Every day, the "noticias" (guerrilas who sneak into and out
of "relocation camps" bringing news are called
"las noticias") tell us about the wars in the Everglades
and places to the north. We are told that the RTC
have stretched themselves too thin and they've neglected
every means of courting our cooperation with their
efforts. With all hope, they will give up and go away as
they should have long ago and leave us in peace to
restore what little we may of our country."
***
Official reports from the RTC's occupation forces claim
that a "spy" was captured in one of its "relocation
communities" and has been held on charges of "sowing
dissent". It is unclear whether this "spy" is a missing
BBC journalist or some other agent, as other official
reports from the RTC's occupation forces claim that no
"spy" has in fact been caught. As is usual, the RTC
occupation forces' Office of External Relations remains
closed and all communications are given the same response:
"No comment!"[PB]
IBAP -- 26.OCT.2007 -- Tokelau Islanders vote for independence
Fakaofo, Tokelau -- The people of Tokelau have voted to sever
their colonial ties with the Fijian Kingdom in a weeklong referendum
jointly supervised by the Austronesian League and the Commonwealth
of Nations. Once the necessary legislation is put into effect, the
four tiny atolls will become a republic in free association with
Fiji.
"As of this moment, Tokelauans ought to consider themselves a free
nation," declared Kolouei Ua Briain, faipule-o-tokelau, or leader of
the islands, adding that it will be some months before Tokelau will
fully exercise its independence.
Fiji has administered the islands as part of Fijian Polynesia since
1958, when the kingdom gained independence from Kemr. Its status
over the decades has been in dispute, with the monarchs of both
Kiripati and Aotearoa claiming sovereignty over the islands at one
time or another. Representatives from the island first requested a
move to free association in 2003; Fiji agreed to put it to
referendum under pressure from other Austronesian League members.
The islands are expected to assume full control over their own
affairs in approximately six months. At that time, Tokelau will
become one of the smallest independent states in the world; its
population of around 2,000 approaches that even of tiny Grand
Fenwick.
Fijian King Thakombao V issued a statement supporting the wishes of
his Tokelauan subjects. The other island groups of Fijian
Polynesia, namely the Cook, Phoenix, and Samoan Islands, have not
expressed interest in pursuing autonomy from Fijian rule.[BK]
IBAP -- 10.Oct.2007 -- Glorianna XII Steps Down, Tully I Crowned
GRAND FENWICK -- In the largest ceremony the small nation has seen since Grand Duchess Glorianna XII married Tully Bascomb, her son, Tully Jr. was proclaimed and crowned Tully I of Grand Fenwick.
The Ceremony, lasting 2 hours, was visited by the Grand Fenwickian PM Victoria Pepall, Andorran prince Napoleon VII, and ambassadors from Helvetia, Jervaine, the FK, France, Aragon and several German states.
Tully I chose his birth name as his regnal name. He is married to Wilhelmina von Papen-Fenwick, a minor noble from Anhalt. They have one child, Katarina Evangline Fenwick (b. 1989).[SCP]
IBAP -- 07.Oct.2007 -- Grand Duchess Abdicates
Grand Fenwick -- In the early morning hours of October 7th, Grand Duchess Glorianna XII, sovereign of Grand Fenwick informed members of the House of Electors (Grand Fenwick's Parliament) that she is abdicating, citing recent health problems. The news shocked the small nation, which has never had a monarch abdicate before.
Back in August, The Grand Duchess had been admitted to Grand Fenwick Hospital for injuries stemming from a fall from horseback, and is said to still be in much pain from it.
The heir-apperant is her eldest son, Tully jr., named after his father. If he takes the throne, he may opt to keep his name as his royal name, and be Tully I, Grand Duke of Grand Fenwick.[SCP]
NEW AMSTERDAM POST -- 27.SEP.2007 -- Glamour, Controversy Surround New Tejan King
Santa Fe, Tejas -- Juan Carlos Fürsten zu Solms-Braunfels officially
assumed the restored throne of Tejas today, in an understated ceremony
attended by dozens of the rich, the famous and the powerful as well as
thousands and thousands of Tejans. Such prominent guests as King Pedr
V of Kemr, King Nga'ara III of Easter Island, and Malcolm Urquart, the
consort of Queen Diana I of England and Scotland would insure maximum
security procedures, even without the sporadic protests by different
groups as close to Santa Fe's Cathedral of St. Francis of Assisi as
they could manage. Lithuanians, Republicans, Felipese and followers
of Native religious practices all turned out to protest the
coronation. Some were agitating for independence, others to protest
the overt part the Roman Catholic Church was taking in the ceremony
while several groups were protesting the restoration of the Monarchy
itself. Behind the scenes, it is common knowledge that many
high-ranking military officers and government officials strongly
disapprove of the legalization of the Ecotopic Party, a move strongly
supported by the King. By noon dozens of arrests had been made, but
most were expected to be released by this time tomorrow.
Official guests and dignitaries, escorted by soldiers in resplendent
parade dress uniforms, were all in place by 11am when the Papal
Sistine Chapel Choir ("lent" for the occasion as a sign of support)
began to sing. The coronation proper took just under an hour.
His Majesty (the form of address chosen by Juan Carlos, as opposed to
the more traditional "Imperial Majesty" used by most of his dynasty)
and advisors, aware of the tensions still threatening the peace of
this often-troubled land, designed the ceremony itself with an eye for
unity. Juan Carlos eschewed the traditional uniform of many monarchs,
donning instead white tie and tails along with a royal blue sash
(emblazoned with his family's coat of arms). Rather than have a new
throne constructed, the late Marie Gabrielle's modest throne for
formal state dinners was used. Likewise, only three regalia were part
of the ritual. San Antonio Archbishop Jose Maria Fernandez-Ochoa
placed the relatively simple crown of King Karl (1812-1875; r.
1844-1875) upon the young monarch's head. Commander-in-Chief General
Carlos Rodriquez girded the Sword of State around his waist. Prime
Minister Ricardo Perry bestowed the Official Seal of Tejas, then
administered the Oath of Office. In a nation still trying to recover
financially from the Bush regime and a losing war with its neighbors,
the simplicity of both ceremony and regalia were almost certainly
intended to sooth while offering enough spectacle to satisfy the
international audience (including an estimated quarter-million
tourists who have flocked to Santa Fe for the event, plus countless
millions who watched the ceremony on television). Likewise, the
inclusion of military and civil authorities was a break from
tradition. Until the recent Restoration, monarchs of Tejas crowned
themselves in the style of Napoleon. Marie Gabrielle broke that
tradition with her own, much simpler ceremony. The Pope at that time
bestowed upon her the added style "Catholic Majesty" her grandson
decided to forego. Likewise, instead of the title "King of Tejas and
its Empire" the new monarch was proclaimed "By the Grace of God, King
of the People of Tejas."
Outside the Cathedral, Juan Carlos gave a short speech declaring his
loyalty to the rule of law, to the peace and prosperity of the realm,
and promising his maximum efforts on behalf of what he called "My
people." The speech ended with a message delivered in six different
languages--Castillian, French, German, Lithuanian, Felipese, and
English. "People of Tejas, I call you mine and those are words from
my heart. You are my brothers. You are my sisters. And this means
of course that I am no less yours."
Afterwards, the twenty-six-year old monarch was joined by his guests
and officials walking the two miles from St. Francis Cathedral to the
official royal residence for a reception that is expected to last into
the night. A few officials and guests only began the walk, being of
advanced age, including Juan Carlos' father, who after a few blocks
was taken the rest of the journey via limousine. Foreign dignitaries
included Prince Ilia (younger brother of the King of Kauai), Khedive
Daoud I of Egypt, Intendant Onésime Talon of New Francy, NAL Foreign
Secretary Ion Edwards, Oregonian Head of State Zrang-Rumi Ekaterina
(and her family) as well as Foreign Ministers and Secretaries from
Louisianne, New Francy, Alyaska, Montrei, Xliponia, the Holy Roman
Empire, Oregon and the Republic of the Two Crowns as well as a Papal
Legate John Freeman and envoys from the Russian, Muntenian, Greek and
Bulgarian Orthodox Churches (another source of protest from nascent
Anti-Snorist groups). Celebrities included actress/model Philly Gore
(currently released on bail awaiting sentencing in violation of
probation on DUI charge), singer Angelita Diaz, authors V.A.Howard and
R.K.Crickerling, talk-show host Conán Ó Briain, movie directors Georg
and Lucas Spieldorf and Anaďs Young, widow of late Louisianne First
President.
Frankie Ozarque, although not officially invited to the event,
broadcast an ongoing commentary about the event.
Security, while attempting to be unobtrusive, was in fact pervasive.
Police officersmany with machine guns--were stationed all over the
city, as were army units including in some places actual tanks.
Sharpshooters were openly stationed in many places. Armored
helicopters circled the center of Santa Fe all day and evening.
The walk to the residence sparked some gossip that in some circles
almost eclipsed news of the coronation itself. Atonia Guelph, Foreign
Minister of Italy and member of the Ducal House of Mantua, was seen
holding hands for much of the walk with Nicolae Vlas-Florea, Oltenian
Ambassador to England and heir presumptive to the principality of that
nation. They were among the passengers on ConAir's "Majestic Vision"
which carried over fifty dignitaries to the event. Italian
journalists reported the rumor that the two had shared a stateroom.
Rumors of an engagement between the two have been tabloid fodder for
months, with the matter even discussed in the Mantuan Senate (which,
unlike Oltenia, does not adhere to Salic Law).
Some commentators noted that the very public spectacle of Juan Carlos'
coronation as well as its completion without any major problems can
only help the current government's efforts to lure foreign investment.
If so, this might do much to assuage the worries of many of Tejas'
elite who resent the efforts of Juan Carlos to further economic
reforms. A stronger economy would mean less temptation to target the
very wealthy with taxes to spur reconstruction.[DZ]
IBAP -- 21.Aug.2007 -- World's Smallest Nation in Mourning
GRAND FENWICK -- At 2:34 pm, Grand Duchess Glorianna XII, Grand Duchess of the small nation of Grand Fenwick was rushed to the sole hospital in Grand Fenwick. The official report says that while on a leisurely horse-ride through Fenwick Forest and somehow fell from her horse. Nearby citizens immidately picked her up and took her to the Grand Duchy's hospital. A doctor at the hospital says that, while not fatal, the ageing Grand Duchess will not be capable of her role as leader of the small state for some months. "She will need some rest for about three to four months, and we are informing her once she comes to that she may heed it necessary to not ride a horse from now on." Further sources say that her injuries are two broken ribs, a broken arm, jammed wrist and sprained ankle. [SCP]
BBC World News, Caribbean Desk -- 19.SEP.2007
Bahia de la Palma, Florida THE NEW AMSTERDAM POST -- 07.SEP.2007 -- New Banner for Tejas
San Antonio -- As a prelude to his coronation, young King Juan Carlos
of Tejas unveiled a new royal banner for his dynasty, the house of
Fürsten zu Solms-Braunfels. The twenty-four-year-old monarch,
currently viewed as one of the most eligible bachelors in the world,
said in a statement that the new banner is intended to echo both his
family's ancient history and its ties to Tejas. Technically, the
banner would be described thus: Chequy argent and vert, lion rampant
azure claws and tongue gules. The lion dates back the original Counts
of Solms while the colors reflect those of Tejas itself.
It is expected that the Tejas Congress will officially authorize the
new banner with little if any dissent. Juan Carlos is due to be
crowned September 27, 2007. [DZ]
BBC World News, Caribbean Desk -- 07.JULY.2007
Kissimee, RTC ZOC, Florida -- Several months of intense fighting
between RTC forces and Floridian guerrillas led to a major
victory for the rag-tag Floridian fighters. On the sixth of
June, they managed to oust occupation forces from the local
constabulary and raised the old F-C flag over the ruined
post office. One week ago, RTC reinforcements engaged the
guerrillas and destroyed the rebel garrison. While many
prisoners were taken, many more simply dissolved into the
bush surrounding the town.[PB]
NEW AMSTERDAM TIMES -- 6.JULY.2007 -- Philly Gore Behind Bars!
New Amsterdam -- Model and sometimes actress Philadelphia Gore,
daughter of the General Moderator, was arrested near midnight
last night for driving under the influence of alcohol. While this
would normally be a fairly routine matter, Miss Gore was already under
probation for a similar offense last September. As part of the
plea bargain with the Crown Prosecutors Office, her driving license
was suspended for eighteen months beginning in November, 2006.
'Philly' Gore, now 26, has become famous in her own right as a
model and party girl, a member of New Amsterdams Sky High Set who has
also appeared in three motion pictures (including a remake of the 1960s film
WAXWORK HORROR). She counts among her circle such celebrities as
Nicola Vlas-Florea, daughter of the reigning Prince of Oltenia, and
Portia Moon, daughter of the Bruno Moon of NoMoreEagleZ, as well as
the Montreian singer/actress Angelita Diaz. Rumors have abounded for
years that Miss Gore would pose for DANDY magazine. Although
self-supporting in terms of her work as a model, Miss Gore has never
attended college, in sharp contrast to her father and grandfather -- the one,
current General Moderator and the other a former First Viceroy -- as well as her twin brother Nicholas, who is a law student at Harvard.
The press office at the Octagon House had no comment about Miss Gores
arrest nor her arraigment on charges of violating probation, which could involve a prison term of up to 45 days. [DZ]
NAL TODAY -- 20.JUN.2007 -- CONDOLENCES FLOOD TEJAN POST
San Antonio -- The Tejan postal service (Correo Real de Tejas) has been inundated by post related to the death of Queen Maria Gabrielle. Letters and cards from as far away as Australasia and Antarctica, many addressed to the crown prince, have expressed sympathy with the Tejan people and have praised the queen for her steadfast efforts at restoring Tejan infrastructure to normal function and easing the transition of Tejanoes to democratic forms of governance. Of course, condolences have been arriving from world governments and international organisations since Saturday.
American political commentator Harold Limbaugher noted during his radio programme on Monday: "Monarchical republicanism is the most rational and sensible system of government on earth today -- one foot resting firmly on sound tradition and stability of long ruling dynasties; one foot firmly entrenched in the equally ancient tradition of self determination and democracy. The Tejan Queen, who died Saturday, embodied this combination of tradtitions and had worked tirelessly up until the very end to implant and establish those noble traditions among the Tejan people, who for so long had suffered under the heel of military juntas."
Juan Carlos, the crown prince, is expected to be crowned within the month. Speculation abounds regarding the handsom young princes marital prospects. While he has had a couple girlfriends over the course of his youth, none have panned out as serious prospects. It is speculated that many of the condolence cards that have arrived in the country in fact contain pictures and marriage proposals. [PB]
