News From Ill Bethisad in 2009

This just in! ...

News stories run from most recent to oldest.

All news stories are submitted by participants in Ill Bethisad, all of whom are welcome to submit stories from their respective parts of Ill Bethisad. Submissions may be edited for clarity, language or style.


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IBAP -- 22 June, 2009 (3 Messidor CCXVII) -- Prefectural Elections Underway

Lyons-sur-Mizouri, Louisianne -- After several legal wrangles extending the initial date for a primary run-off between Jérémy Narbonòsc and Emmanuel Boucher, Fils, a winner has been declared: Jérémy Narbonòsc.

A final election date of 6 Fructidor (August 24) has been set for the final votes to be cast between Jérémy Narbonòsc and Claire Miquasquille for the much contested Prefectoral seat of Osage, one of the most heavily populated regions of Louisianne.

Votes can be cast any time between today and the 24th of August, and the two candidates are now spending quality time with those that have voted for M. Boucher, courting their support for the seat.[DH]


PUNA -- 16.JUN.2009 -- Kupeña confirmed for second term (PUNA)

Reflecting his broad support among the Council's royalists, reformists, and ectotopian sympathizers, Kupeña Tuki was elected to a second term as Chief Advisor by a Council vote of 15-8. King Ña'ara, known to be a close friend of Kupeña and his family, administered the oath of office at the annual public ceremony at Oroño. Since Kupeña's Council seat was not up for re-election this year, there is no way for him to have a clear public mandate following a turbulent year of national embarassment and constitutional crisis. However, his key supporters who were up for re-election did keep their seats, and last months vote brought another ecotopian, Kaituoe Inaki, into the Council. Members of Kupeña's faction expressed confidence in his continued leadership and were pleased with his guidance through the judiciary amendment process that stretched over last spring and summer.

Ña'ara gave a speech praising Kupeña's skill and moderation before administering the oath. The speech also detailed parts of their shared agenda left unfinished due to the crisis - most particularly the nationalization of reserve land to create an Ecotopic Park, but also relatively minor reforms such as an enlargement of the Council and increased government aid for renewable energy. The speech included some of the most noticeably activist and politicized public statements heard from Ña'ara in recent memory, showing that the election results have strengthened his political position as well as that of his allies in the Council.[BK]


IBAP -- 17.JUN.2009 (28 Prairial CCXVII) -- ELECTION DIFFICULTIES CONTINUE IN LOUISIANNE

Baizillac, Osage, Louisianne -- The road of courtship has been long and hard for Messieurs Boucher and Narbonòsc as they've visited and wooed the Members of Parliament for Osage to win their vote in this unprecedented second primary.

They've both come to Baizillac, due south of Lyons-sur-Mizouri today to visit recalcitrant Joseph Moreau, seeking to get his attention and vote in the upcoming primary on Saturday, 1 Messidor CCXVII (20 June 2009).

Their offers brought by assistants and campaign aides have so far been rebuffed and M. Moreau has gone so far as to request the local police to protect his home and prevent the media from turning it into a circus. In a unique interview, M. Moreau accepted our news team into his home and spoke with candor.

M. Moreau has served in the legislatures of Osage since he was a young man, and is now in his 85th year of life. When asked if he would retire after this term, he smiled and said, "I'll retire when the bon dieu tells me to. Until then, I'll do my best to serve my neighbors and be their voice, if they'll have me."

"I'm not going to be swayed by the presents or flattery these men give me. It's not a matter of how much they promise me and the people I represent -- it's what their track record has been so far. I've seen the work done by M. Narbonòsc for his sous-prefecture of Mizouri as a member of the parliament, and I've seen what he's done for Aurillac as the sous-prefect years ago. I've also seen how M. Boucher votes and which legislation he supports.

"My vote isn't going to be on promises -- that's worth about as much as a fart in the wind, if you'll excuse the expression. I'm going to vote for the man I feel has done his best for the people of Osage, because if he's in it for himself, then he won't care a cornhusk for any of us." He pointed out the window, toward the street where Messieurs Boucher and Narbonòsc waited. "I'm not the only one that feels this way. We all know that unless we vote for a man of character we're going to get the same shonatchigammes* we had under Mitterand."

When asked about his feeling of the changing political climate of Louisianne, M. Moreau smiled. "I'm all for changing more than just the crust of this Helvetian Mince Pie. And if the bon dieu will let me, I'll do all I can for as long as I can."

by Genevieve Cotillion, L'Étoile de Lyons-sur-Mizouri, Vie Populaire section

*from the Gaelic sionnachuighim, translated, "I play the fox.", equivalent of shenanigans or tom-foolery in English.[DH]


NOVEDADES AUTOMOTIVAS -- 5.JUN.2009 -- COSOLIDATED MOTORS TO INTRODUCE NEW LUXURY LINE TO EUROPE

Bridgeport, NAL -- The North American automotive industry is being rather active during last few years proving to be alive and kicking, healthy and wealthy. After Dorris Motorworks merged with Mitçubixi Motors in 2005 and National Motors Corporation acquired important share parts of Japanese Matta Motors and Australasian Holden-Frost Motors, on December 2008, permitting a strong further expansion throughout the Pacific Rim car market it is now Consolidated Motors Corporation, CM for short, to take actions for expansion.

Frederick Henderson, CEO of CM, announced today that a new luxury brand will be shown at upcoming European auto shows and will go on market next December first in the European left driving countries (FK, SR, Xliponia among others) and later in the others. The new brand will be the seventh CM nameplate and will be designated for European luxury car market. Henderson stated that he knows "competition will be very harsh but such shouldn't be seen as a difficulty but as an opportunity" according to his own words.

Minuit will be the name of the new brand, which was chosen from hundreds of possibilities given in an internal company competition among CM workers worldwide. The brand will be named after Peter Minuit, former governor of the New Netherlands colony who also led the expedition which founded New Sweden province in 1638 in Delaware Bay. It intends to be like a bridge between Europe and America through a name with connections with both continents so as the use of an historical character name to provide a certain image. Also Minuit means midnight in Francien, one of the most important spoken European languages. Minuit is supposed to gather both European and American car characteristics.

In order to cut expenses upcoming Minuit brand will be in a first stage composed by three medium range rebadged Potomack and Adirondack models not sold overseas, which in terms of size mean full size cars for European market.

It will not replace any of these brands in Europe but it will be the combination between the luxurious Adirondack and the sporty Potomack. Minuit cars will be produced both in Adirondack and Potomack facilities in the NAL and then exported to Europe. Later there's the possibility of the launching of particular models, but never before 2014.

Model range will start in December with the following models from bottom to top: Minuit Excelsior (rebadged Potomack Grand Prix) which will be available as sedan, wagon and coupe, Minuit Enterprise (rebadged Potomack Bonneville) which will be available just as sedan and finally the Minuit Statesman (rebadged Adirondack Royal) which will be available as sedan and sedanca. Note originally the Royal is the smallest Adirondack nowadays on market. Later other models will be added to line-up.

Price range was not yet announced but is expected to be rather competitive to European mainstream luxury car makers such as German Mercedes Benz, English SS or Scandinavian Volvo.[PM]


PUNA -- 5.MAY.2009 -- Henua, Greece exchange diplomats

The Hellenic Empire began its official diplomatic relationship with Te Pito o te Henua Tuesday as an autogiro marked with the unfamiliar red lion of Greek aircraft landed, bringing Greece's new Minister Resident Nikolaos Georgiakos. The European empire and the Polynesian island have been engaged in a cordial round of long-distance diplomacy since its Emperor and Empress visited the island last year on their honeymoon. Both monarchs were whisked off the island following the bomb attack targeting Andrew Morris, which nearly injured them both. However, Emperor Konstantinos reiterated his hope when he arrived that "Greece and Henua may begin a friendly relationship" following the royal visit."

Georgiakos traveled to Anakena where he was formally received by the King before meeting with Foreign Advisor Rano'ika Pa'oa. He told reporters that his goals as Minister to Henua will be building the friendship between the two nations, encouraging the mutual exchange of tourists, and reaching out to Henua's small Greek-Muslim community. That community, known as Ure (small clan -eds) Elene, immigrated to Henua from Greek Ethiopia in the 1940s. The new Greek legation is located not far from the cluster of other European missions in Haña Roa. Greece is the newest - and possibly the smallest - European nation to set up a permanent legation on Henua.

Henua's Minister Resident to Greece, Kaitu'oe Hana, boarded an autogiro for Greece Monday. A spokesman for Advisor Rano'ika said that the two ministers would have met, but Georgiakos' arrival was postponed by a day.[BK]


IBAP -- 30.APR.2009 -- LOUISIANNE'S ANTI-SATANISM LEGISLATION DOWN IN FLAMES

Members of the Républicains-Libres narrowly defeated a resolution in committee opposing groups that a fellow member of parliament claims are pushing a satanic plan to encourage illegitimate births and illegal immigration into Nouvelle Cournouaille

Chrétien de Beurre, MP - Zarahemla-Sud, offered the resolution, titled "Resolution opposing the Hate Louisianna anti-Christian Open Borders cabal," warning members that an "invisible government" comprised of leftist foundations was pumping money into the Loi Naturelle and Parti Ecotopique to push for looser immigration laws and anti-family legislation.

De Beurre said that the Loi Naturelle and Parti Ecotopique get most of the votes cast by illegal immigrants from Tejas and Deseret and from Louisiannans in dysfunctional families.

But it's not the the Loi Naturelle and Parti Ecotopique who are really behind this strategy, de Beurre says. It's the devil.

"Satan's ultimate goal is to destroy the family, and these people are playing a leading part in it."

M. de Beurre's resolution contained quotes from the New Testament on the battle between good and evil. The copy of the resolution handed to delegates stated it "fulfills scriptural prophecies about our times."

M. de Beurre offered a similar resolution in the 2007 legislative session. That also was defeated by Members of Parliament in committee.

David Rousillion, MP - Nauvoo-La-Belle, urged delegates to forcefully reject the resolution, as it was useless grandstanding by M. de Beurre.

M. Rousillion said the religious language M. de Beurre used would turn public opinion against the parliament and might lead to a referendum demanding elections.

Joël Favre, MP - Manti, agreed. He said that Prefect Johannes Yager had been elected because of his moderate, albeit religious leanings. Offending the Tejan immigrants and naturalized citizens would serve no good.

Cameron Sevy, MP - Provost, said that the Républicains Libres shouldn't be ashamed to say that Louisianna is a Christian nation. [DH]


Haqayat News -- 10.APR.2009 (16- Süver, Buqa Jýl 2009) -- "Near Miss" Explosion Fails to Derail Central Asian Space Launch

Ormara Launch Facility, Moghul National Realm -- A mysterious explosion ripped through an unused ancillary building at SpaceOrg's Ormara Launch Facility in the early hours of this morning, but the consortium's first satellite-launching rocket was undamaged and it was decided to proceed with the launch attempt.

Security was tightened almost to the point of strangulation, which marred an otherwise celebratory day, as the Persian-Turkestani-Qazaqstani-Moghul consortium placed its first object in the sky, but with the vehicle undamaged and the public waiting, SpaceOrg's steering committee made the decision to proceed.

"We Are Tajiks", a radical seperatist splinter group of the Pamir Liberation Front in Turkestan, claimed responsiblity for the explosion, as did the Moghul Shi'ite radical group the "Friends of 'Ali". However, official SpaceOrg sources state that the explosion was merely a disused fuel tank, almost completely empty, exploding in an unused part of the former Moghul military base.

The launch itself, however, went off without a hitch. The Dostlik ("Friendship") satellite was sent on its way atop a modified Märgän Arms Aldaspan-7 missile rocket, and tracked by Moghul Navy ships in the Indian Ocean.

Dostlik itself was designed by a partnership of Qazaqstani and Persian scientists; it will orbit the earth for some time playing a short looped message of peace in InterTurkic, Farsi and Dari.

SpaceOrg has become only the third organisation or consortium to successfully launch a satellite into earth orbit, after the German-Scandinavian and Japanese-Louisiannan partnerships.

"This is a very proud moment for us, and a great day for the world," said SpaceOrg spokesman Muzaffeh Sharid. "In choosing to reach for the heavens not alone as individuals but together as a band of friends, we are rising above our national and ethnic divisions in a great unifying cause: the cause of peace and brotherhood".

Haqayat News/Jomart Nasreddin-ulý reporting[GH]


IBAP -- 10.APR.2009 -- Miami's New Archipelago

Miami, RTC Z.O.C., South Florida -- Recent reports of solely Venedic companies building islands in the bay have been grossly exaggerated. It has come to light through investigation that not only are the Veneds building islands, but Louisiannan and NAL-based companies as well.

The virtual land-rush doesn't look to be stopped any time soon, as Miami, war-torn as it has been remains a vital tourist destination for many of the "Snow-birds" of the NAL, and now, the RTC.[DH]


NATIONAL NEWS CORPORATION -- Tuesday, April 7, 2009 -- PEGRE BATTLE IN NEW AMSTERDAM!

NEW AMSTERDAM, Castreleon New -- Residents in and around the tiny Manhattan neighborhood of Little Marseilles hid or fled in the early morning hours as gunfire echoed in the streets. According to NAPD officials, the cause was the assassination of Louis Philip "King" LeBrun by soldiers of his rival for command of the Signoret Crime Famille, Guillaume Vaschon. The two are each married to daughters of the late Pierre Daille, aka Peter Dale, who died last year of pancreatic cancer.

NAPD spokesmen read a statement to members of the press that at approximately 8:15am local time, LeBrun visited one of his favorite cafes, the Cafe Du Mon Dieu on Lafayette Street. As ever, he was accompanied by several bodyguards. Soon after LeBrun's breakfast was served to him, at least two and as many as four of the busboys drew weapons and began to fire. The bodyguards returned fire. Meanwhile several other gunmen, presumably alerted by the busboys, arrived at the Cafe to attack LeBrun. In all the gunfire lasted approximately eleven minutes.

LeBrun and three of his bodyguards are dead, as are five innocent bystanders of the Cafe and a waitress, along with two busboys and a gunman in the street. The wounded include ten others, all of whom have been hospitalized and are in various conditions. Some (no specific number was given) are critical and not expected to survive.

This marks the single most violent event in the Signoret Civil War since the destruction of the airship "White September" in September, 2008.

As of this hour, the CBI and MOJ had no comments about the event, nor any speculation whether the death of LeBrun might herald the end of the crime war which has claimed dozens of lives since Daille's death.

News Commentator Richard A. Maddow in his syndicated live television program THE RICHARD MADDOW SHOW expressed doubts that this is anything like the beginning of the end of the Signoret power struggle. "At heart," he said on air less than an hour after LeBrun's death had been confirmed, "this is not simply about the rivalry between two brothers-in-law over who gets to grab Peter Dale's toys. The Pegre is wracked by serious divisions over jurisdiction and strategies as well as generational struggle between the Old Guard and the Youngbloods. Or at least, the current versions of those two, because the original Youngbloods are getting mighty long in the tooth by now. I'd love to be proven wrong on this one, but it is difficult to see how this conflict can do anything other than escalate in the long run."

Whatever the sequel, it would seem the faction headed by Vaschon has the advantage for the moment. But the Vaschons remain under intense scrutiny over the disappearance of Andre Vaschon, wanted for questioning regarding the death of Philly Gore, late daughter of the General Moderator.[DZ]


Reuters -- 6.APR.2009 -- Two thousand years of interesting discoveries

CONSTANTINOPLE -- On April 2nd, 2009 Greek archaeologists made quite a fascinating discovery.

In the town of Rathestos artifacts which spanned a period of two thousand years were found in a cave in their excavation site. Georgia Kokkorou-Alevras the main head of the excavation said she was "utterly shocked. Not only have we found some of artifacts belonging to the various tribes that roamed the area and of the Greek colonist, but of the Scythians, Persians, and even Vikings!"

Some of the items found include:
*Two bronze spear heads, a bronze shield, greaves, and a knife, all of Thracian make;
*A silver wine cup with a Greek inscription on it, showing a blending of Greek and native motifs;
*A tiny brass statue of Athena, Greek make;
*Greek coins;
*A gold bracelet, the beads of which appear to be of Scythian make with 11 beads each in the fashion of tiger heads;
*The most shocking element of the find occured nearby where a viking ship burial was found, including a number of weapons, notably three iron swords, a helmet, and a silver cross with pagan elements;
*Several human skeletons, which have not as of yet been subjected to scientific tests.

An aracheologist commented by saying "The Greek and Thracian artifacts are not suprising. The Scythian bracelet could have gotten here by trade, as could the viking ones. However this does make us believe that in fact the vikings that sailed down the Danube to Constantinople may have in fact set up permanent settlements! They were most likely trading posts built for trading with the Byzantines.

Why no Byzantine artifacts have been found as of yet is a mystery.[CL]


IBAP -- 2009.04.01 -- BAMBAR£YA, GREEK EMPEROR CLOSE BREUCKELEN BRIDGE SALE

MIAMI -- Greek Emperor Konstantinos XII announced at a press conference today the successful conclusion of a land purchase treaty with the RTC government, represented by Governor-General Ju¿eñ Bambary³a of Venedic South Florida. The treaty, which awaits ratification by both the Greek Parliament and the Sejm, granted the Hellenic Empire "complete sovereignty and all rights and priveleges thereunto appertaining" over the Breuckelen Bridge in Nieuw Amsterdam in the Castreleon New province of the North American League.

"This is the dawn of a new day for the Hellenes," declared the youthful emperor at a press conference in Thessaloniki. "With the purchase this bridge, the Empire proudly bestrides both sides of the mighty East River. Through tolls and import duties at this crucial trade hub, our great nation stands to greatly increase both its economy and its international gravitas." The emperor added, "This was a deal that Greece could not afford to miss."

The bridge, described in the language of the treaty as "in good condition", was granted to Greece for a cash transfer that was left confidential but described by Bambary³a as "a once-in-a-lifetime bargain." The sale follows several weeks of negotiations in Bambary³a's Miami office; the talks were reportedly brought to a speedy conclusion when Bambary³a threatened to revoke the offer if Konstantinos failed to "act now."

Breuckelen Moderator Daffyd Dinkens, whose office is responsible for maintaining the bridge, told reporters that he new of no plans to change its ownership, and added that he was extremely busy and had no time to talk.[BK]


Haqayat News -- 25.MAR.2009 (Aşğabat/25- Navruz, Buqa Jıl 2009) -- Police Admit "Few Leads" in Şapar Case

Ţamat Xarızı, the chief of the Aşğabat police department, told Haqayat News today that four days after the beheading of Şapar Aqniät-ulı, they still have "very few leads" in the case.

"It is very frustrating," Ţamat Başı said. "Şapar Ağaı was a highly visible political figure, with numerous people who had something to gain from his death. The problem is not a lack of suspects; if anything, the reverse."

"We have the body, but still no murder weapon. The cut is consistent with being a single stroke with a large bladed weapon like a şamşır or catana, but there are other possibilities, and we will not know for sure until we can recover the weapon itself.

"We have no witnesses and no obvious forensic evidence in the room. The fact that this murder was committed in the part of Şapar Ağaı's house that served as headquarters for the political party of which he was the head means that there have been so many other people tracking through that room that the problem is to sift the evidence from the sea of other data. It's like searching for a single lizard in the Qara Qum desert."

The Wolf Brotherhood are becoming impatient with the slow pace of the investigations:
"We have tried to be patient and allow the authorities to conduct their investigation," Yörük Gayrat-ulı said. "But our Şapar Ağa's blood cries out for justice. If the police cannot find the killer, honest people will soon start asking questions about why that should be. We point out that the chief of police is himself half Tajik, and little good has come to us from that people."

Others are asking different questions:
"This violent death – chopping the man's head off with a sword – is not the usual way for a peaceful politician to die," said Nağıma Erbolat-qızı, spokeswoman for the Home and Hearth Party, which has had frequent political clashes with the Wolf Brotherhood over immigration policy. "People should ask themselves how a political leader came to be killed in such a ruthless way – as if he had been executed by a gang lord! People should ask themselves what kind of people this 'peaceful politician' was inviting into his home."

One thing seems certain. This election year is already bringing some startling changes to the political landscape.[GH]


IBAP -- 24.MAR.2009 (3 Germinal CCXVII) -- ELECTION DIFFICULTIES IN LOUISIANNE

Saint-Louis, Louisianne -- It was announced today at the Prefectoral Capital in Saint-Louis that the results of the parliamentary elections for the new Prefect of Saint-Louis were dead-locked, and that a new primary must be held in 30 days' time. Clear winner Claire Miquasquille is not required to re-run in the primary, but Messieurs Emmanuel Boucher, Fils and Jérémy Narbonòsc must both stand in the primary.

Typically such primary results requires all three candidates to re-run, but an emergency ruling from the Tribunal de la République at Paris-sur-Mizouri declared that only Messieurs Boucher and Narbonòsc must re-run, each having tied with 23% of the vote. Had the race been closer, they said, Mme. Miquasquille would have been required to run as well. The National Assembly is expected to draft legislation for the Prefects who will be meeting for a month in Prairial (May/June).

Messieurs Boucher and Narbonòsc were quick to state that they intend to continue their bid, and have been visiting with key members of the prefectoral Parliament to this end.

Supporters of Mme. Miquasquille are quick to add, when asked, that this is by no means a sure sign that she'll win. "She'll have to court those MP's who didn't vote for her or the winner of the new primary," said Yvainne de l'Orme, Press Secretary for Mme. Miquasquille. "The campaigning isn't over, and public opinion matters much, as the legislators are often bombarded with letters to this end during these election years."[DH]


Türkümän Umırı, Aşğabat -- 23.MAR.2009 (23- Navruz, Buqa Jıl 2009)

With their party headquarters in their former leader's house cordoned off as part of a police crime scene, the Wolf Brotherhood today issued an official statement on Şapar Aqniät-ulı's death.

"Let us be honest," said Yörük Gayrat-ulı, former head of the Wolf Brotherhood's 'Turkic Wolves' organisation and now de facto party leader, "there are regressive, multinationalist elements within the Greater Turkestan sphere who consider our message of unity a threat - and this is aside from the conspiracy of Tajik and foreign forces who have been bent on suppressing the manifest destiny of the Turkic race for generations.

"Evidently, some of these forces have tried to eliminate our message by removing our Şapar Ağa. But that message of the unity of our race and its path to glory are bigger than any one man - even Şapar Ağa - and he has laid down his life for the sake of this message. Any of our Turkic Wolves would do likewise.

"Şapar Ağa's passing is a great loss to this world. But we will not rest until his great vision is brought to life in our time."[GH]


Haqayat News, Aşğabat -- 22.MAR.2009 (22- Navruz, Buqa jıl 2009)

In the aftermath of the Navruz Jaş holiday festivities, the Turcoman police authorities find themselves investigating an apparent gruesome murder. Early this morning, the driver of Wolf Brotherhood founder/leader Şapar Aqniät-ulı reportedly discovered the decapitated body of his former employer at his home on the outskirts of Aşğabat.

Preliminary forensic evidence puts the time of death at somewhere between 10pm and midnight on Navruz Jaş itself, lending a bloody undertone to the usually festive time.

Şapar Aqniät-ulı was the founder of the extreme pan-Turkic party known as the Brotherhood of the Wolf, and the author of "The Seventh Empire", a political treatise in which Şapar Ağaı laid out his vision for a "Greater Turkestan" encompassing much of middle Asia. His extremist political stance mean that the police are not short of suspects.

Şarğon Aşqarzadeh, the leader of the Tajik secessionist "Alliance of Light" and one of the main political enemies of the Wolf Brotherhood, disclaimed all knowledge and responsibility for the killing, saying that "...it would be better for the man to have lived and his ideology to have died."

In this election year, the murder of Şapar Aqniät-ulı raises all sorts of political questions too. Şapar Ağaı's expected successor Yörük Gayrat-ulı vowed that the Wolf Brotherhood would use the martyrdom of their leader as a springboard to launch the glorious Greater Turkestan empire.[GH]


IBAP -- 20.MAR.2009 (29 Ventôse CCXVII) -- Zarahemla, New Cornwall, Louisianna

Chrétien de Beurre has hit the news again, ranting against his favorite target, the Green Carnation Party. He was recently caught ranting to a documentarist about them.

"Ils sont le pire ennemi de la Lousianne, une type de cinquième colonne, qui essaient de bouleverser le système de droit et droiture qui nous protège par la grâce de Dieu. Si les adhérents du Parti Œillet Verts et les politiciens qui les soutiennent arrivent à leur but, la Louisianne serait détruit, anéanti, et divisé entre Texas, Oregon et le Ligue Nord-Américain. Le PŒV, c'est presque aussi pire que les texans ou les musulmans pour la liberté des louisiannais."

(They are the worse enemy of Louisianna, a sort of fifth column, trying to subvert the system of rights and correctness that protects us by the grace of God. If the GCP and the politicians who support it get their way, Louisianna will be destroyed, annihilated, and divided between Texas, Oregon and the NAL. The GCP -- it's almost as bad as the Texans or muslims for the freedom of Louisiannans.)

Already government officials of New Cornwall are seeking to limit the damage de Beurre's comments can cause. Stripped of his roles in numerous committees on the prefectoral level, he maintains his seat in the Parliament of New Cornwall.

When polled on the streets most people agreed that de Beurre served as Louisianna's version of Geoff "Cosh'em" Sessions, albeit with a decidedly Louisiannan twist.

While no comments of Blue Martians seem forthcoming, de Beurre is a political face of Louisianna to watch for the coming years, if only for comedic value.[DH]


IBAP -- 10 March 2009 -- Coronal Colonization Calamity! Criminy! Cries Care-worn Caretaker of Coronal Cast-offs

Reporting: Jose Alvarez de los Santos

It was not long ago that I lived in this area, about 10 years ago, I remember fishing off this very causeway in the Bahía Vizcaína. The beautiful bay stretched for what seemed forever to the north and south. Now, in the middle of the formerly pristine bay artificial islands are being constructed, with sand and silt and rocks.

The triquéquidos that lived in these coastal waters have been driven away and replacing them and their quiet waterways are large islands with huge palacios -- and not for the latest military junta to take hold of my dear Florida -- at least, not a military junta of floridianos.

No -- it is the Guenedeses and their hangers on. In total there are thirty islands under construction and a new one or two, or three seem to start every single day.

Sure, they are fine workmanship, and I wouldn't mind living in a beautiful house after the Veneds go home to the RTC. But what of the bay? What of the peaceful way of life? That is long gone.

For the volume of construction, I fear that we may see the Veneds leaving Veneda for the Lithuanians to run while they enjoy the tropical life of my beautiful Florida.[DH]


WITA WARSINIE -- 11.MAR.2009 -- NDS WITHDRAWS FROM GOVERNMENT

WARSINA -— In the heat of the Florida debate in the Sejm, the Lithuanian New Democratic Union (NDS) has withdrawn its support for the Janać government. After the two ministers responsible for the Republic's Florida policy, Puliny and Bościciału, had given two completely contradictory statements to the Sejm on Saturday afternoon, NDS leader Artūras Zuokas asked the marshall for a short break. After a short deliberation with the only NDS representative in the government, Youth and Sports minister Tomas Julinas, Zuokas addressed the Sejm. He announced that the NDS would leave the coalition, effective immediately.

„We have been tolerating this government long enough”, Zuokas explained to his colleagues. „When we joined the coalition, we did so in the good hope of reorganising the country, making it stable and efficient, just like we have successfully achieved in Samogitia. However, thanks to the chancellor himself, the opposite has happened. Instead of being above the parties like any good chancellor would, Mr. Janać has been working for the interests of his own ŻŻŻ only. Instead of being the glue that holds eleven coalition partners together, 'divide and rule' seems to be his real motto. Instead of filling his government with competent people, Mr. Janać turned it into a second ŻŻŻ, a monkey theatre. His famous 'War on Corruption' has gradually turned into a war against his political opponents, while the case of Florida's governor-general proves that the real corruption goes unpunished. Well now, we, the NDS, will no longer watch these monkeys dance! No more scandals, no more fights, no more blunders! It is time for this country to be ruled by a competent government, not by a group of frustrated people who abuse their power instead of ruling the country. Therefore, the NDS will leave this government immediately, and join the opposition.”

Subsequently, Zuokas demonstratively took place among members of the opposition. He was joined by minister Julinas. Subsequently, such turmoil broke out that the meeting had to be postponed and could be resumed only after an hour.

It took chancellor Janać an almost superhuman effort to save what was left of his coalition and avoid other parties to follow Zuokas' example. Earlier, observers had predicted that the Blok Rzejpybiełkany might do the same, but apart from harsh words on the part of BR chairman Bartołyczy, this has not happened. Thus, for the time being Janać's coalition can stay in office.

However, now that the 18 NDS deputies are no longer supporting the government, the latter's position has become extremely fragile. At present, the coalition of ŻŻŻ, DN/NG, BR, Sułodziefięca, WPP, Respublikonai, VS, Tautininkai and the pro-government faction of the KRN has only 244 deputies in the Sejm. The support of eight smaller parties and an estimated 14 non-aligned Sejm deputies brings the total number of deputies that support the coalition to 272 – a minority among the 603 deputies of the Venedic, Lithuanian, Regional and Provincial Chambers. Now that the anti-Janać camp has grown to 271 deputies (representing 22 parties and 28 non-aligned deputies), the government will be forced to lean heavily on the remaining 60 deputies of the so-called „neutral camp”. The latter consists of 19 mostly regional and minorities' parties, which usually are willing to support the government only in return for hard concessions when it comes to their own political agendas.

This new situation also means that the decision-making process in the Sejm has become even harder than it used to be. Since the 2005 elections, many deputies have left their parliamentary caucus and moved to another causus, established a new one or become non-aligned, so that the Sejm presently consists of no less than 58 different parties (15 of which are represented by one member only) and 46 non-aligned members.

„The Sejm has decisively become undecisive”, politicologist Karół Miedziany from Warsina University comments, jokingly. „It hasn't been this bad for decades. It is impossible for a Sejm as heavy as this one to function normally, even in this weird country. So many parties fighting each other almost to death, blocs and factions changing on an almost daily base. With two radically opposed camps, about equal in size, it becomes virtually impossible to build a solid majority for just about any decision, let alone for dealing with vital issues like the situation in Florida and the trouble in Galicia. The way I see it, we have only two possible solutions: either total stagnation, which means we will watch our country go to hell, or early elections. That's all the choices we have at the moment.”

In the meantime, the Florida debate in the Sejm is far from concluded. It will probably last until Wednesday or Thursday before any final decision will be made.[JvS]


El Pais de Las Palmas -- 8.MAR.2009 -- Beachbum Wins Golf Tournament, Leads to Surprise Discovery!

Las Cocoas -- "Well, we were just as surprised as anyone else, except perhaps the Coroners themselves. Frankly, we had no idea at all they were even there." This confused sentiment was offered by Col. Gustavo Morales upon the surprise discovery of a small contingent of Coronal forces holding their position in the northern tip of Artesia Island. "Turns out that recent claims from the Coroners that they were still 'holding on to' Artesia Island are not entirely unfounded. It's quite embarrassing, really."

"We were sure we'd swept the islands clean, and we paid special attention to the Coronal airstrip in the northern part of the island. We only found three planes there, one fighter and two of Bambarlya's personal aeroplanes. The things must be GWI vintage or older, maybe even Cumont's machine itself -- who knew that maniac likes to fly antique aircraft? But anyway, there's some thick jungle beyond the airstrip, and a couple abandoned warehouses. It appears that our expeditionary force was not as thorough as we would have liked."

The story started out last weekend when a local golfing tournament was won by a local beachbum. It was considered odd that the man spoke little Castillian, but he had his own clubs and was generally considered to be a hold-over Coroner civilian going native. Far from the end of his story, the man, now identified only as Jan Equis (he refuses to give his surname), turned up wandering the deserted beach near the northern tip of Artesia. According to Capt. Jose-Maria Calvaro, on Tuesday last his patrol squad noted the man was carrying several fully laden sacks of groceries up the beach. The captain recognised him as the winner of the golfing tournament and wondered if he lived in a beach house up that way. Taking two of his men, the squad trailed Equis far up the beach where they soon discovered a makeshift wharf. There, Equis turned into the jungle and came to something that gave the Palman soldiers quite a surprise -- a small garrison of Coronal soldiers, hidden deep in the jungle!

Calvaro and one man remained to observe the garrison, while the other was sent back for reinforcements. On Thursday, the garrison was surrounded by Palman forces and Equis was captured for questioning. It turns out that the small garrison was an early outpost set up by the Scandinavian invasion forces, later taken over by the Coroners. The fort is manned by some one hundred and fifty Coroners and constitutes part of their coastal network of fortifications.

Morales said: "Their presence constitutes quite a conundrum: by being north of the Armistice Zone, the RTC is technically engaging in an act of war against the Commonwealth of Four Palms, even though these men haven't fired a shot in a couple months. More than likely, given their position, they've probably never fired their guns at all. If they shoot at us, the Armistice will indeed be violated; if we try to remove them by force or shoot at them first, we'll be the aggressors. Hopefully, our two countries can work something out where these men can go home peacefully. Or who knows, perhaps they'll just decide to swim back south to Miami!"

In the mean time, the City of Cocoa have rather taken a liking to the motley crew up in Artesia. They don't appear to be fully aware that there is an Armistice between Four Palms and the RTC, and they don't seem to know anything about Four Palms at all. No radio broadcasts have been detected from their location, and it is suspected that their communications with their base have been severed. The mayor of Cocoa has determined that sacks of groceries and other needed items should continue to be sent up to the fort, until a more permanent solution can be determined.

Finally, the mayor quipped in what has become the typical fashion of largesse and sunny disposition of the Palmans: "Who knows? Maybe we should hire the lot of em? They've been doing such a good job of 'guarding' our islands since January, and without even being detected, why not keep them on? They can just stay right where they are!"[PB]


WITA WARSINA -- 06.MAR.2009 -- GOVERNMENT UNDER HEAVY ATTACK; COALITION IS CRUMBLING

WARSINA -— The government of chancellor Janać is under heavy attack. Since a few days, the conflict between the ministers Bościciału and Puliny has reached its peak, almost assuming the character of an open war. Many deputies, not only from the opposition but also from the coalition and even from Janać's own ŻŻŻ, blame the chancellor for a lack of leadership. „Even now that we are facing the serious danger of a new war in Florida, our government refuses to speak with one voice. This situation cannot last any longer. If the chancellor is unable to keep his coalition together, this government should go. Let the people decide who will rule this country next”, WWPS leader Katarzyna Parydżanka said.

Yesterday evening minister Bościciału announced that he would send a diplomatic mission to Four Palms. „No matter whether they are an aspiring state or just a rebellious province, there is no point in denying that these people are demanding independence from our zone of occupation, and that the international community is supporting them in that”, the minister declared. „We clearly cannot risk a war over Four Palms. Therefore, I want to open a dialogue with them and discuss the future relations between their country, the rest of Southeast Florida and the Republic.”

Minister Puliny on the other hand denies that such a mission will represent the RTC at all: „Obviously, my esteemed colleague is speaking for himself. Our government has not recognised Four Palms, nor does it have any such intention. You can't possibly send a mission to something that does not exist. Rebels should be bombed, not be treated as partners.”

It is a public secret that the two ministers cannot get along with each other, and that they have radically different views regarding Southeast Florida. According to an unconfirmed source, Bościciału has given the chancellor an ultimatum: either he or Puliny leaves the government. In the past, when Puliny was still a Sejm deputy, Bościciału repeated called him a „madman” and an „irresponsible nitwit”.

„How can we expect our government to handle the crisis efficiently with two major ministers constantly rolling over the street, fighting?”, Parydżanka asked. „Instead of pursuing a course, they keep issuing contradictory statements. It looks like there is no Florida policy at all.”

Should Bościciału withdraw from government, his party, the Blok Rzejpybiełkany, will in all probability do the same, thus causing the government to lose its majority in the Sejm. However, minister Puliny is a close associate and personal friend of Leoń and Kazimierz Janać; he and Justice minister Zbaszczan Kosta are considered the face of the younger generation of ŻŻŻ politicians and the most likely candidates for the succession of the Janać brothers. It is therefore unlikely that the chancellor will easily give in to Bościciału's demands.

Much will depend on how the other coalition partners will respond. It is a public secret that the two largest coalition partners of the ŻŻŻ, Demokracja Noconała and Sułodziefięca, are dissatisfied about the way they have been treated by the ŻŻŻ over the years. Repeated efforts to spread discord in their ranks have caused much tension within the coalition, notably various proposals to several of their deputies to join the ŻŻŻ in return for money or high-ranking positions.

Today and tomorrow the Sejm will discuss the crisis in what may easily become the beginning of the end of the Janać administration.[JvS]


WITA WARSINIE -- 5.MAR.2009 -- BAMBARYŁA IN TROUBLE

MIAMI -— The position of governor-general Jużeń Bambaryła of Southeast Florida has become precarious after the rumours about a secret transaction with the Greek Empire have gained credibility. On February 20, the Wiortać Popłu was the first to reveal rumours that the governor-general would have sold the entire island of Artesia to an unspecified Greek delegation. On Tuesday, the Floridian newspaper El Pais de Las Palmas published a coded message that was intercepted last Saturday from the emperor to the military commander of the island. Yesterday, a team of independent experts established that the incriminating message is authentic.

Of particular importance are the following sentences: „Greetings to General Bambaryła from Constantine. I'm first going to come out and say; yes, we shall consider the deal made between our agents complete. The island purchased by Greece will in fact become a colony of Greece, as we had discussed. Your agents indicated that before the war, the area was home to resorts and social clubs of some sort; it is our intention to construct a new resort in the island. One more 'happy' note: I'd like to say now that Greece has what it needs from the RTC, any further discussions will be over. I'd like to extend hands of friendship to the NAL, Ireland, and the Four Palms, our new neighbours. It doesn't end there. We plan to extend some foreign aid, weapons, and like materiel to the Four Palms, also recognizing the 4 Palms as an independent nation from the RTC. Hopefully we can balance colonialism with keeping the majority of the world happy on this, especialy the locals.”

The transfer has placed the Republic in the center of negative international attention. Several countries in the region have recognised the Commonwealth of Four Palms, or expressed the intention of shortly doing so. The island of Artesia is part of what the latter considers part of its territory. The Irish government in Cill Chainnigh has declared that it will „stand firm for the Commonwealth of Four Palms” and secure its territorial integrity by any means necessary. Greece is furious about what it now calls „a fraudulent deal”, and has announced that it will do anything to make sure that Bambaryła will be captured and brought before an American-Irish-Floridian court.

OLD-chief Wójt Olanik said: „It is unacceptable that one man can drag an entire country into a war, all on this own. We demand that the government take firm steps to put an end to this sick situation.”

„If all this is true, Mr. Bambaryła should be recalled from Florida immediately and brought to trial”, vice-marshall Bartłomiej Czeliny of the Sejm reacted. „His position clearly does not entitle him to sell RTC territory to a foreign power, especially if this territory is under international dispute.”

The government appears to be confused about the situation. Foreign minister Bościciału said on WRW1 today: „All I can say about this is that I am very, very worried. We have no information at all about Artesia being the governor-general's private property, nor about the alleged sale of the island to Greece. This matter will have to be researched thoroughly before we can jump to conclusions.”

Entirely different was the response of the minister of Colonies, Jaków Puliny: „I repeat it again: there is no such thing as a Republic of the Four Palms. The name alone looks like a cheap parody of our Republic. No foreign power has any business recognising parts of our sovereign territory as independent.” Regarding the sale of Artesia Puliny said: „If the island was really the governor-general's private property, he can sell it to anybody he wants. But then, there is no evidence whatsoever that this whole story is anything but a rumour. People shouldn't believe anything written by some obscure local newspaper, especially if it's being sponsored by the bushist underground”, he told the press this morning.

Chancellor Janać has been unavailable for comment.[JvS]


El Pais de Las Palmas -- 4.MAR.2009 -- IRELAND STANDS FIRM!!

Cocoa, Is. Artesia -- This evening, Prime Minister Don Gonzalo Morales, Conde of Las Cocoas, issued a short statement during a press conference on the steps of the Cortes: "Word has come from Dublin City that the Irish Government is prepared to take decisive steps regarding the scandalous sale of our sovereign territory. Thus far, the RTC's government of occupation has been content to leave us in peace, and we are rightly thankful to them for this charitable attitude. We have also been gladdened by the fact that their armies, while terrorising our bretheren in Rzebamarz of late, have held true to the Armistice between our two countries. The brazen gall of General Bambarlya to cut our country up piecemeal and sell it to the highest bidder can not be stood for. It is now known among us that a secret deal was conducted between agents of the Greek Emperor and General Bambarlya, concluding the sale of this very island to the Emperor for some 75 million talares. Quite a sum! Our office is even now preparing a response that will be transmitted immediately to the Emperor making him aware of recent history in this part of the world. He undoubtedly has many things on his mind, what with the Worlds Fair and World Games and the like, that a tiny little corner of the world such as Cuatro Palmas should escape his mighty attentions! That can be forgiven; however, should his agents or armed forces attempt to make good on his deal with the RTC, he should be aware that our armed forces and our people are prepared to defend the Commonwealth to the utmost.

It is also to be noted that our allies to the north and west are prepared and indeed have committed to our defence in our hour of greatest need. For these promises, and for their carrying through of those promises, we are greatly heartened and made more steadfast in our desire to secure our liberty and peace after long years of strife. We welcome the calls for the League of Nations to at last become involved in the matter; and welcome the steadfastness the Irish have shown thus far on our behalf."

Several questions were asked of the Prime Minister, mostly regarding the deal itself and potential reprecussions. The most pointed question was asked by a reporter from El Dia (Orlando), namely, how can we be certain that the Irish are not planning to occupy Cuatro Palmas themselves and thereafter return us to the RTC, since they and the RTC share the duties of occupation of southern Florida since the war. Don Morales responded: "Our envoys to San Pedro in the Irish ZOC met with not only occupation officials but also officials of the Irish Government. We are secure in our belief that Ireland has only the noblest intentions and is as desireous as we are for all southern Floridians to seek, gain and maintain a peaceful and free existence."[PB]


RADIO CAYO, Cayo Ôso -- 04.MAR.2009 -- "Las Antillas" news program

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

José Velazquez: Commission on Very Small States envoy Inez Aguilar has accepted the apology of RTC officials. At least that's what she says; it's unclear whether the RTC wanted to apologize at all for turning Sra. Aguilar away when she arrived in Miami two days ago. Aguilar had hoped for a frank discussion over the rumors that the Greek Empire recently paid the RTC for the privilege of governing an island in the Cuatro Palmas region. After returning to her office in Cayo Ôso, Sra. Aguilar had this to say:

IA (recorded): They have refused outright to meet with me, so the Very Small States are left to express their outrage to the press.

JV: The Coronal foreign minister said yesterday that this was all, in his words, "a terrible misunderstanding" and that he hoped to receive her in the near future. Radio Cayo reporter Marcela Ramos spoke with Sra. Aguilar earlier today.

IA (recorded): Minister Bościciału apologized to me yesterday, both in a note and through the media, and I accept his apology and his explanation and look forward to a fruitful diplomatic dialogue between the RTC colonial officials and the CVSS.

MR (recorded): You described the alleged land deal as a "high-handed and illegal violation of Cuatro Palman sovereignty". That was a very strong statement, Señora Secretaria. Do you take any of it back?

IA (rec): The CVSS is a supporter of self-determination for Floridian communities. We have been active here for years on both sides of the demarcation line and have always worked toward an end to colonialism in the peninsula. This land deal not only violates the territory of a self-governing community, it gives a colonial presence to a whole new external power. The deal is a step backward. It is not progress. It is walking backward, and my diplomatic mission will work hard to stop it.

MR (rec): So you stand by your denunciation of Coronal policy?

IA (rec): To the extent that the policy moves away from self determination and toward increased colonialism, yes, I stand by my denunciation of it.

MR (rec): Will you be meeting with RTC officials in the near future?

IA (rec): We are discussing a meeting through diplomatic channels. My mission has no end date, and we will sit down and meet with the RTC whenever they are willing to speak with us.

[END TRANSCRIPT][BK]


Haqayat News -- 3.MAR.2009 (3- Navruz, Buqa Jil 2009) -- SILK ROAD LEAGUE ANNOUNCE PARTIAL SUCCESS

QARAGHANDA, Russian Qazaqstan -- The annual Silk Road League conference finally came to an end today with the announcement that a compromise had been reached over the controversial plan to form a customs union or free trade area within the Silk Road League.

The conference was scheduled to run only until last Thursday, but fundamental disagreements over the idea of closer economic and/or political union conspired to extend the conference by several days.

The announcement of the compromise deal - in effect a voluntary free trade area among member states of the SRL which choose to participate - was made jointly this morning by President Arjan Qazigeldin of Qazaqstan, Prime Minister Nuraslan Nazbek-uli of Turkestan and Prime Minister Mohammed Qarzai of the Moghul National Realm.

"The free trade zone will be open to those member states wishing to participate," said President Qazigeldin, "and will not force commitment on those who have no wish to join."

Mr. Qarzai added that the opening of the free trade area would not discriminate between full members and associate members of the League, but would include all whose governments chose to sign on to this new Treaty of Qaraghanda and ratify its provisions appropriately in their domestic legislatures.

Turkestan, the Moghul Realm, Qazaqstan, Turkey and Tatarstan have all already signed on and are expected to ratify the treaty quickly. Uyguristan, Azerbaijan and Yakutia are all expected to decline membership.

Most interesting are Mongolia and Tannu-Tuva, who, it is believed, could vote either way.[GH]


El Pais de Las Palmas -- 3.MAR.2009 -- CONSTITUTION RATIFIED; WAR ON THE HORIZON?

Las Cocoas, Is. Artesia -- The Third of March has been declared Dia de la Constitucion in the Commonwealth, for it was yesterday that the Constitution was ratified by legates from from the four counties of the Commonwealth. Taking effect immediately, the newly constituted congress is set to meet in Cocoa begining on Friday. The agenda is said to be a full one, with issues ranging from disbursment of foreign aid to reconstruction efforts, to drawing up official borders, to determining a final colour scheme to repaint all the captured Coronal military vehicles and boats that now comprise the Cuatro Palman army and coast guard.

No sooner had the new government officials been sworn in that Cuatro Palmas had already been thrown into the middle of an international crisis that some fear could lead to a renewed war in the region. At the heart of the matter lies the island called Artesia, where much of the capital city of Cocoa is located. It was, according to military records, one of the "bonuses" acquired by General Bambarlya during his tenure as occupation commander. "It's really quite a lovely island," said Don Jose Calderon, Conde of Orlando. "I've been jogging in the park north of town every day the last month. Some huge houses up there. Locals told me one of the army chief jefes used to go up there on weekends for parties. Couple hombres used to be on the waitstaff -- they said the guests had more medals on their jackets than Generalissimo Gonzales ever wore! They say there used to be a world class golf course here in Cocoa, too. I don't play golf, so don't know about that. And now we're hearing that the Greek government has bought it from the RTC? I don't know quite what that means, but it sounds fishy to me. Are we supposed to be part of Greece now or what?"

At the heart of the matter is a letter intercepted from an unflagged boat patrolling the coasts off Cuatro Palmas, sending a coded message near nightfall Saturday last. It appears to be from agents of the Greek Emperor accepting some deal made between them and agents of General Bambarlya. In part it reads:

"Greetings to General Bambarlya from Constantine. I'm first going to come out and say; yes we shall consider the deal made between our agents complete. The island purchased by Greece will in fact become a colony of Greece, as we had discussed. Your agents indicated that before the war, the area was home to resorts and social clubs of some sort; it is our intention to construct a new resort in the island.

One more "happy" note: I'd like to say now that Greece has what it needs from the RTC, any further discussions will be over. I'd like to extend hands of friendship to the NAL, Ireland, and the Four Palms, our new neighbours. It doesn't end there. We plan to extend some foreign aid, weapons, and like materiel to the Four Palms, also recognizing the 4 Palms as an independent nation from the RTC. Hopefully we can balance colonialism with keeping the majority of the world happy on this, especialy the locals." The letter goes on to give instructions to the commander of the Artesia Island garrison regarding preparing various locations for the transfer of ownership.

Ministry of Defense leaders met today to study the letter and the transcript of the interview with the boat's captain. The cleaning and wait staff from the former estates of General Bambarlya are also expected to give statements tomorrow before the Ministry regarding what they know of Coronal activities on the island. The crew apparently had no knowledge of the letter's content, only that it was to be delivered to the "Occupation Forces Commander, Artesia Island". They would not reveal their employer, saying only that they were legal privateers hired to deliver this letter and no more. MoD are expected to offer their recomendations to the new Government on Friday when the First Congress meets in session.[PB]


WITA WARSINIE -- 03.MAR.2009 (Mardzej, 3 marce 2009 o.) -- BOŚCICIAŁU REGRETS MISUNDERSTANDING WITH CVSS

WARSINA/MIAMI -— A small diplomatic crisis occurred yesterday after a delegation from the Community of Very Small States was reportedly denied a meeting with RTC diplomats in Miami. Inez Aguilar, deputy secretary of the CVSS and head of the delegation, uttered harsh words at the address of the Republic of the Two Crowns to the press.

Foreign minister Bościciału regrets the indicent. On WRW1 he said: „This must have been a terrible misunderstanding. We had not received any information regarding Mrs. Aguilar's arrival, nor did we know what her precise schedule was. Had we known, we would of course have arranged for a welcoming committee, organised a banquet to her honour, and discussed with her any subject she wanted to discuss with us. The government of the Republic finds it most regrettable that the CVSS had failed to inform us about Mrs. Aguilar's arrival, and that therefore the Republic was unable to receive her properly. In any case, we will investigate this matter. We need to find out which officials Mrs. Aguilar has contacted after her arrival. The CVSS can be sure that they will be properly reprimanded for their unelegant behaviour.”

However, at a meeting of the ŻŻŻ in Męć Bowiny, minister of colonies Jaków Puliny expressed a different point of view. „What kind of an organisation is the CVSS anyway?”, he asked himself to an audience of over 300 party members. „They clearly had no business coming to Southeast Florida. Why would we allow a bunch of mini-states from the Pacific to interfere in our internal matters? If that is all they can offer us, they may as well stay on their own tropical islands. Our mission in Florida is hard enough as it is.”

It is unclear which of the two ministers represents the official stance of the Republic. Chancellor Janać hasn't given a personal statement regarding the issue yet. Obviously, the the government is deeply divided regarding Florida, and the chancellor will once again have to work hard to prevent a relatively minor issue like this from causing a rift within the government.[JvS]


IBAP -- 03.MAR.2009 -- RTC rebuffs Very Small States envoy; Small States condemn rumored RTC-Greek land deal

CAYO ÔSO, CONCH REPUBLIC -- Deputy Secretary Inez Aguilar of the Commission on Very Small States had harsh words for the Republic of the Two Crowns after being denied a meeting with RTC diplomats shortly after arriving in her native South Florida.

Aguilar arrived in Miami Monday morning as an envoy representing the CVSS, a League of Nations committee, to the Coronal government in South Florida. Her arrival was a response by the CVSS to the unsubstantiated rumors that the RTC had recently "sold" a portion of its Floridian mandate to the Greek Empire. The rumored land is an island located off the coast of the self-proclaimed Commonwealth of Cuatro Palmas, which declared independence in January and has been recognized by the NAL, Ireland, and the Very Small States, but not the RTC, which still considers the commonwealth part of its zone of occupation. According to Aguilar, the RTC officials, who declined to comment, refused to meet with her when she contacted them after arriving.

"The [members of the commission] have dispatched me at the head of this diplomatic mission to be a strong voice of opposition to the RTC's recent acts in the southeastern provinces," Aguilar said in a telephone interview from her Cayo Ôso office Monday afternoon. "After arriving in Miami, I requested a meeting with Coronal diplomats without specifying a time or place. They have refused outright to meet with me, so the Very Small States are left to express their outrage to the press."

Continuing, Aguilar said, "The land sold, so-called, to the Greeks was located in a sovereign state over which the Two Crowns no longer have any jurisdiction whatsoever. The Very Small States protest in the strongest possible terms this high-handed and illegal violation of Cuatro Palman sovereignty."[BK]


IBAP -- 2.MAR.2009 (11 Ventôse CCXVII) -- Txitama no Xiya dazzles!

ATOE (CNEL & JAXA) released photos today from high above showing the view of the ground as Txitama no Xiya sees it, high, high above. Jean-Louis Cattin spoke with this reporter from his office near Paris-sur-Mizouri. "We're very pleased with results. The resolution of the photographs is incredibly precise, and what's even better is that we don't have to worry so much about the maintenance costs as we do with a statellite, or interference from the weather itself."

Mr. Cattin showed some of the coasts of those nations bordering the South China Sea. "Look at that resolution. You can almost see the larger fishing vessels!"[DH]


El Tiempo (San Agustin) -- 27.FEB.2009 -- Senatorial Committee on South Florida Reports Back to the Convention

PHILADELPHIA -- The Senatorial Committee sent to the self-declared Commonwealth of Cuatro Palmas and to the RTC's occupational government in Miami published its report to the Convention to-day. The nearly 500 page document describes not only the physical conditions found among the Souteastern Floridian communities, but also extracts of discussions with Floridian and Coronal community leaders; finally, a recomendation to the Convention and General Moderator is appended.

While it comes as little surprise to read of the continued existence of tent cities in SE Florida -- the so-called "relocation camps" that sprung up first under the auspices of the SR armed forces of conquest, and continued under the RTC's forces of occupation -- it was nevertheless the cause of no little distress to read accounts of the conditions in which the Floridians have lived the last four years. Very few Floridians are living in permanent dwellings, and most have only basic access to camp medical facilities or schools. Perhaps worse than this were the accounts of vast tracts of land once owned by the same Floridians inhabiting the camps are now owned by officers of the Coronal high command or else by high ranking officials of the Government of Occupation. Documents seized during the invasion of the regional capital of Las Cocoas name many prominent military leaders as owning estates in the region, notably General Bambarlya himself who seems to have claimed the Island of Artesia and its once famous golfing club at Playa de las Cocoas.

While the conditions were by far the worst in the north, the Report reveals many surprises about the Coronal occupiers. It appears they have been quite busy in the central region of Rzebamarz, rebuilding local infrastructure and even begining the work of rebuilding towns razed during the SR's blitz. As the Committee worked its way south, interviews with Floridians took a decided turn for the positive, with the Coroners held in high esteem. Indeed, the Report contains many accounts of nearly completed restoration efforts, and of considerable economic recovery among Floridians in the deep southeastern sectors of the RTC's Zone.

In the southeast, an increasing number of Floridians are identifying themselves as "Guenedeses", or "Veneds". One local football team outside of Miami even calls itself "Los Bambarones" -- the Bambarlyans!

Little headway could be made by the Committee in reaching or speaking with any officials of the Government in Miami. A short interview with Bambarlya's lietenant only revealed that the General "has specific plans regarding the Baja Palmia region (what is now the Commonwealth of Cuatro Palmas)" and that the NAL "has no business interfering with these plans". Especially given the events of 21 January and following. No further details of these plans were forthcoming, though the lieutenant hinted that General Bambarlya "has a lot of personal interest up in Baja Palmia".

The Report recommeds two things in particular: one, that the NAL immediately praise the RTC for its strong efforts and results in the southeastern sectors of the country; and two, that the NAL recognise the Commonwealth of Cuatro-Palmas and send an interrim envoy to coordinate communications between Philadelphia and Cocoa, the provisional capital of C-P.[PB]


La Presse Chrétienne -- 27.FEB.2009 -- "Une Nouvelle Parti pour les Chrétien(ne)s" "Quand les mondes religieux et politique se mèle."

Mistralle Aigline is a name that often brings up angry glances in the halls of the Parliaments of Alpes-Rocheuses and Nouvelle Cournouaille, yet when we knocked on the door to her home for an interview, she was not what we'd pictured. There must be some mistake my photographer and I think, exchanging glances. The woman who answers the door says she's Mistralle Aigline, but this can't be her. Mme Aigline, some say is among the 50 most powerful people in the northwest of Louisianne, and among the top 15 in the Alpes-Rocheuses. Yet she has never held political office, nor has she sought it.

She looks like the type of person that would lead the local Secours Catholique or Mormon Société de Secour. At 67 she's a simple house mother in many ways, with a large garden and yard, with her house found in the outskirts of Zarahemla. Her home is simple, and often not room enough to contain her 12 children and 19 grand-children.

"Is this truly Mistralle Aigline?" I think, looking at my photographer.

This is a woman considered to be so fearful, so intimidating that when I contacted a former MP who covered Zarahemla's region, they asked neither to be identified by gender nor name, for how "scary" Mme. Aigline and her supporters can be. She has at her call an army of women who can descend upon the Parliament building or the Prefect's office, a woman who dares to express her sometimes vitriolic opinion of very socially sensitive issues.

As co-founder of the Droit et Droite party, and current vice-president, Mme. Aigline has the MP's of Nouvelle Cournouaille concerned. Her political efforts have sparked opinion papers and official declarations. She has been touted as a nut-case, a christian crusader, and most frequently intolerant. She has been escorted from the halls of parliament for making a row, yet Cournouaillian MP's fear her and her disfavor.[DH]


IBAP -- 26.FEB.2009 (7 Ventôse CCXVII) -- ATOE Announces Launch of Chitama no Shiya - Earth Viewer

Launching from the Louisiannan CNEL Spaceport just south of Saint-Domingue, the Earth Viewer satellite has the strongest cameras and lenses, capable of high resolution to be able to better see meteorological events, but also useful in studying humanity's effects on the Earth.

"Nous sommes très content" Jean-Louis Cattin said to reporters. "The launch was successful, and the satellite is well on its way to orbit, capable of watching storms that form in the Pacific and South China Sea. It will be able to get timely news to both Japan and Louisianne about storms that will face either country."

When asked about the orbit of the satellite, M. Cattin only responded that it was a moving orbit, such that it would be constantly shifting in relation to the ground to be better able to image the Earth below, due to the atmospheric lensing. "By allowing the satellite to move it will be better able to resolve the Earth itself, and thus better able to help us predict storms coming at our countries."

When pressed about the resolution of the cameras, M. Cattin would only state that resolution states were not sure, given the effects of space and the atmosphere, but he expected to be able to see down to a size of some 3 meters at worst. At best, he said, "We should be able to see city streets and cars -- nothing invasive, but close enough that we can track tightly the motion of storms, and hopefully build better predictive models, especially useful in the typhoons and tornadoes that regularly afflict our countries."

Data will be transmitted by wireless to ground stations near the JAXA and CNEL headquarters in Louisianne and Japan.[DH]


Louisianan Radio -- 26.FEB.2009 -- CHINA-JAPAN TENSIONS MOUNT

From a news broadcast in Louisianne...

Interviewer: The Chinese League have issued an ultimatum to the Empire of Japan, demanding that they withdraw from Hunan. What does this mean for our Japanese allies? Here to discuss this is Pierre Maçumoto, author of The Coming War in Asia.

Interviewer: Thank you for coming onto our show, M. Maçumoto

Maçumoto: Thank you for having me. It's an honor to appear.

Interviewer: For the viewers at home, could you summarize the events that, in your belief, are leading to an inevitable Second Sino-Japanese War?

Maçumoto: After Canton abandoned Hunan in the aftermath of the Cantonese War, almost six years ago, Japan took over the administration of the devestated nation. Futainan had argued that the Chinese League should be the one to administer the state, and condemned the League of Nations' decision to ratify Japan's mandate. The Chinese League has continued to issue condemnations of Japan's administration.

Interviewer: And what lead to this present ultimatum?

Maçumoto: That depends on who you ask. The Japanese government claims to have evidence that Zhuangguo has reneged on their promise not to support Zhuang separatist activities in southwestern Hunan. In mid-Pluviôse [early January] of this year, Japan attacked alleged rebel bases in Zhuangguo. Zhuangguo, on the other hand, claims that Japan's attack was based entirely on Zhuangguo's refusal to permit the movement of Japanese troops from bases in northern Nam Viet to Hunan. The Chinese League, unsurprisingly, has sided with Zhuangguo in this issue.

Interviewer: And what exactly is the CL demanding?

Maçumoto: Their basic demands are simply that Japan set an immediate timetable for withdrawal, not to exceed one year, and renounce their mandate over Hunanese administration. The League is also demanding that Japan pay reparations to Zhuangguo for their attacks and to Hunan for alleged atrocities committed by Japanese forces. The CL has given Japan 10 days to reply.

Interviewer: There is more to this situation than Hunan and Zhuangguo, is there not?

Maçumoto: Correct. The CL has, in the aftermath of the Cantonese War and the Japanese occupation of Hunan, been growing ever closer. Talk of reunification, which has long been little more than a vague hope, has grown in seriousness. There now seems to be a very real possibility of a future reunification of China, at least, of the eastern part of the former Empire. Tibet, Uyghuristan, and Mongolia remain well outside of the reunification talks. Given this, they are viewing Japan's occupation of Hunan as a foreign occupation of a section of their own nation. Japan, on the other hand, given their history with the former Chinese Empire, fears reunification. They have been attempting to gain support from Southeast Asian states against the CL.

Interviewer: What do you predict will come of this ultimatum?

Maçumoto: Japan will not back down. Of this, I am confident. I also do not believe that the CL will back down. The League will declare war upon Japan, and a Second Sino-Japanese War will break out.

Interviewer: And what will the result of this war be?

Maçumoto: This is hard to tell. The biggest wildcard is nuclear weapons. Both sides are nuclear powers, and Canton used nuclear weapons against Hunan. However, Beihanguo, the biggest power in the CL, has strong reservations against the use of nuclear weapons. In addition, unlike Hunan, Japan could reply in kind if China attacks it with nuclear bombs. I do not believe that Japan would use their bombs first, either, in part because of the fear of Chinese retaliation, and in part because they do not want the negative reputation it would bring. So, I don't think that either side will use their nuclear weapons. It's possible, but I think it's unlikely. Both sides do have powerful conventional militaries, however. Japan's is far more unified, being a united Empire already, while the total of China's military forces, especially land forces, are larger. If the CL can co-ordinate their forces effectively - an open question - they will probably be able to defeat Japan in land battles. Japan's naval forces are far superior, however, so the CL will be unable to launch an invasion of the Japanese islands. Corea, however, may be vulnerable to invasion, as will Japan's ally Nam Viet. I don't believe that the CL could hold onto them, though. So, in the end, I suspect that Japan will be expelled from China, but be able to hold on to their own territory. There will be no exchange of territory, and the war will end with a reunified China. I can't, however, state this as a definite prediction. There are other possibilities. One is that the CL will not be able to co-ordinate their forces effectively, and it may even be that Japan will be able to split the Chinese states, bringing a few over to their side. Whatever the result, however, this will be a brutal war that will have huge costs in both human lives and economic terms for both sides. It will not be a quick war, either, unlike Hunan or the recent wars in Tejas and Florida.

Interviewer: You don't believe, then, that there is any chance of avoiding the war?

Maçumoto: It's very unlikely. It's conceivable that the Princess-Regent will back down. She commands imperial forces, after all, and there is some evidence that she may be unwilling to commit to war. If she does so, then war will be averted. But, she's unlikely to remain in power if that happens. A regent can be deposed a lot more easily than an Emperor. It's also possible that the CL will back down, or that only some of the states will commit to the war.

Interviewer: Will Louisianne be brought into this war?

Maçumoto: Unlikely. Lousianne and Japan are not obligated to join the other in war. Our treaties are primarily economic in nature. Military action is only required in the case of an unprovoked attack, and it will be easy for our government to argue that this was not unprovoked. I don't think we need to worry about our forces being sent overseas.[NT]


NATIONAL NEWS CORPORATION -- 20.FEB.2009 -- ROMANIAN PRESIDENT NOT TO STAND FOR REELECTION

Bucureşti -- Bela Negru, Moldovan legal scholar-turned-judge and then President, announced today he would not be submitting his name for consideration for another five year term as the President of Romania's Federation. Negru has come under increased criticism in the last two years from PanRomanian elements who question his liberal politics and his ancestry (his grandmother is Hungarian).

Negru said he wished to return to teaching and might pursue a more vigorous political career in his native Moldova. This last is viewed by some as a dig at Regent Serghei Jucov, leader of his own party but with whom it is generally acknowledged he has a chilly relationship.

Jucov was immediately mentioned as a possible successor to Negru as President of the Federation, as was Oltenian Nicolae Vladescu and Muntenian politician Nicodim Popescu, uncle to Princess Sofia's husband. All three are controversial for a variety of reasons. Jucov is widely seen as a (benevolent) despot, Vlas-Florea recently married a non-Romanian, and Popescu is rumored to be a Pavelist.

The presidential election is scheduled to take place July 4.[DZ]


Haqayat News -- 13.FEB.2009 (13 Aqpan, Çiçqan Jıl 2009 -- Silk Road League discusses Free Trade Zone

Qarağanda, Qazaqstan, Russian Federation -- Delegates from the six full members and ten associate members of the Silk Road League are already beginning to arrive in the city of Qarağanda for the biannual members' conference. This year, the northern Qazaqstan has the honour of hosting the proceedings, so their delegation gets to set much of the agenda.

The SRL members' conference appears set for some long and potentially heated discussions, as topping the list of Qazaqstan's tabled concerns is the issue of the possible establishment of an economic free trade zone within the Silk Road League. This issue is one that Qazaqstan has been endeavouring to bring to the table for some time now, but the previous three hosts (Uyguristan 2006-2007, Altai 2004-2005, and the Moghul National Realm 2002-2003) have all been hostile or hesitant about the idea, and have not placed the item on the agenda for discussion. Without the consent of five full members, or a majority of full members and at least 7 associate members, though, the issue has thus not been discussed until now.

Qazaqstan, however, exerting their traditional privilege as hosts, has now decided to bring the issue to the table for discussion.

The discussion is expected to be quite heated. Uyguristan in particular has been very hostile to the idea of an economic free trade zone, fearing that their economy will be overwhelmed by their powerful neighbour Turkestan, and other smaller states have similar concerns.

The conference will begin on Monday (16th), and is scheduled to last for 10 days. Other business of the conference includes the nominations for the host of the 15th Central Asian Games in 2013 and arranging a second demonstration sport for the 14th Games next year in Tatarstan.[GH]


GAZETA JELECONAŁA -- 5.FEB.2009 -- RTC CELEBRATES 60TH ANNIVERSARY

„The Second Rzejpybiełka has its disadvantages, but it is still our country, an independent state of Veneds and Lithuanians”, chancellor Leoń Janać said at the 60th anniversary of the foundation of the Republic of the Two Crowns. Yesterday, this day was celebrated in the entire country.

The Fourth of February is an important day for every citizen of the RTC. Yesterday, on the Day of the Republic, all cities and towns comemorated the day, when 60 years ago Veneda and Lithuania were reunited, after having been separated for over three decades. On that very day, the old Republic of Both Nations, as it was previously called, was reborn as the Republic of the Two Crowns.

All kinds of festive activities took place. In Warsina, Veneda's megastar Dodo gave a concert in the open air with her band „Wierżeń” on the Płaca Rzeże Głurzanu for an audience of thousands of people. The turbofolk band „Sięć” gave a concert in Siodawa, Prynica performed in Męć Bowiny, and Iza B8 in Kronin. Kordyn had a huge jass concert, while the inhabitants of Męć Rzegały danced to the music of a whole range of venedisco artists. On the other hand, flowers were laid under statues and other memorials, all kinds of parades and manifestations took place in the streets. Everything under the slogan: „God, pride, honour and fatherland”.

The Day of the Republic was also the day of the first flight of the Zeppelin Erdecze (see photo), built especially for the occasion by airship manufacturer Hindenburg Wenedki S.A. To symbolise the unity of the country, it flew from Warsina, over Łódź, Kordyn, Czytać Leoniór, Łuck, Wileń, Kowień, Męć Rzegały, Męć Bowiny, and from there back to Warsina.

Before the Grave of the Unknown Soldier, the king and his wife, the chancellor, the prime ministers of Veneda and Lithuania, the marshalls of all six chambers of parliament, as well as the leaders of over two dozens of other states gathered to pay their respect to those who fell in the Second Great War. Among those present were king Lembit II (Estonia), queen Valentina (Latvia), prince Timotieje II (Skuodia), presidents Borys Hryńko (Ukraine), Uladzimir Kotau (Belarus) and Florján Vljavlján (Slevania), chancellors Åke Ovesen Høgh-Guldberg (Scandinavia), Franc Fišär (Bohemia) and Tibor Ionescu (Oltenia), and Danzig's Upper Mayor Holger Bolle. The Holy Roman Empire was represented by foreign minister Franz von Schreck. After laying a wreath at the memorial, together they watched a parade of the Republican Guard.

Subsquently, chancellor Janać delivered a long speech to his audience of ministers, Sejm deputies, foreign guests and journalists, in which he paid attention to several events from the history of the Republic. „The Republic of the Two Crowns has become a success thanks to the patriottism of both Veneds and Lithuanians”, he said. „That does not imply nationalism. Nationalism, and chauvinism in particular, is built on hatred. Patriottism is built on love.”

He added: „The Republic of the Two Crowns needs to be repaired. Not all the bad things from the past have disappeared. But our country is developing rapidly. Seventy years ago, Veneda is was small, powerless state. Twenty years ago, we were a big, but still powerless state. Nowadays, we are an important player in international politics. Maybe we have not achieved everything we were hoping for, but at least we have made a leap in the right direction.”

The chancellor did his best not to discuss present-day politics. All he said was that even in a democracy conflict should remain within certain borders. „Those borders have been crossed many times during recent years”, he said.

Despite appearances, the celebrations were not as politically neutral as the chancellor had promised. At the evening gala in the Teatr Grędzi the several important RTC leaders of the previous years were missing. Several former chancellors, notably Jan Sacz and Jerzy Boż-Papica, had not been invited by Janać. „Absurd”, vice-marshall of the Sejm Bartłomiej Czeliny commented, „it's like not inviting Paweł Żakliny to the 10th anniversary of the Republic.”

Also not invited were representatives of the political left, in particular those parties that neither in the Republic government nor in that of Veneda form a coalition with Janać's own ŻŻŻ. „This appears to the founding ceremony of the Third Republic of the Janać brothers rather than the anniversary of the Second”, said WWPS leader Katarzyna Parydżanka. „it is as if the opposition has no part at all in the Republic.” „It's all members of the ŻŻŻ, the DN and Sułodziefięca over there”, Onorat Jakrzycz of the PKRDK said, „whatever anniversary it is they are celebrating there, it appears to be Janać's own Rzejprzywata rather than anybody's Rzejpybiełka.”

Several of the foreign guests did not visit the gala either, clearly to the disappointment of the chancellor.

Before the evening gala, chancellor Janać and defense minister Mielć officially appointed nine new generals in the Royal Palace. Furthermore, several people were decorated with the Order of the Two Crowns, among whom former chancellor Marek Aldendorf, bank president Alfred Swiss-Oberg, Nostra Galicja chairman Jędrzej Jekła-Sasiny, and governor-general Jużeń Bambaryła of Southeast Florida.[JvS]


WITA WARSINIE -- 26.JAN.2009 -- Bombs destroy hotel in Miami; Bambaryła feared dead

MIAMI (WSAP) -- A series of heavy explosions has completely annihilated the famous Aldendorf Hotel in Miami. The incident took place early this morning. It is rumoured that at the time of the incident Southeast Florida's governor-general Jużeń Bambaryła was inside the building, having a conference meeting with representatives of the local population.

At 4:22 AM this morning, most of Miami was peacefully asleep, when suddenly five heavy explosions were heard with short intervals between them. Those who woke up and looked out of their windows came just in time to see the huge building collapse. The number of casualties is unknown. Because of season it is estimated that not more than 100-200 people may have been inside, personnel included. During the Summer, a number of 1500 hotel guests is not uncommon. Nothing is known about the fate of those who were inside. A team of rescue workers are trying to dig up survivors from the smoking remains of the hotel, but they said the chance that odds for success are minimal.

It is unknown who is responsible for the assault. Grzegorz Milczany, who is in charge of the sale of land to immigrants from the RTC, was the first to issue a statement on behalf of of the civil administration of Southeast Florida. He said that nobody had claimed responsibility yet, but "in all probability it must be the work of bushist terrorists from the North". "We have no conclusive evidence at this point", he said, "but I'm sure that our intelligence will soon discover a direct link to the guerrilla government of Cuatro Palmas".

One hour later, it was rumoured that governor-general Bambaryła had been inside the hotel at the time of the explosions. The office of the governor-general has not given any details yet, only that Bambaryła had not shown up at work yet; and that the governor-general "might have been scheduled" to have a private conference meeting in the hotel with an unspecified group of individuals, probably representatives of the local population. If it is true that the governor-general has died in the incident, that would have far-reaching consequences for the stability in the whole region.

Hotel Aldendorf, located at the Avenida del Rey Witold, was one of the finest hotels of all Florida. Before 2004, it was known under the name "Hotel Jaime", named after Florida-Caribbea's former president Bush. It suffered severely of the Floridian War and had been extensively looted by the Scandinavians. However, during the first year of administration by the RTC it had been fully restored in its old glory. Given the total destruction after the bombing, it is unlikely that it will ever be rebuilt again.[JvS]


WITA WARSINIE -- 31.JAN.2009 -- BAMBARYŁA'S RETURN

MIAMI (WSAP) -— The governor-general of Southeast Florida, Jużeń Bambaryła, is not dead. It was suspected that he was among the victims of the bombing of the Aldendorf Hotel in Miami five days ago. But much to the surprise of his co-workers, he arrived at his office safe and sound this morning, as if nothing had happened at all.

Bambaryła's return caused lots of consternation in the governor-general's office. Since the governor-general's disappearance last Monday, his deputy Grzegorz Męda had been fulfilling most of his duties, while Bambaryła's replacement was already on the agenda of the Sejm and the Ministry of Colonies. During these five days, several rumours circulated about his whereabouts: that he was dead, that he was attending the huge military exercise in Rzebamarz, that his autogiro had had an accident over rebel territory and the governor-general himself had been captured by guerrilla fighters, even that he had run off with a mistress.

Later this morning, Bambaryła gave a short explanation to the press regarding his disappearance. None of the previously uttered allegiations were true, he declared. Instead, he had been on a highly confidential mission in Kap Kaniawerały on Artezja Island for several days, meeting in private with a delegation from Greece „to discuss matters of the highest importance”. However, he did not reveal any details and refused to answer questions. It is unknown what the outcome of the meeting was, or what the precise composition of the Greek delegation was. The suggestion that it was the emperor himself he had been talking with, was neither confirmed nor denied by the governor-general.[JvS]


Wita Warsinie -- 24.JAN.2009 -- RTC Will Not Recognise Cuatro Palmas

WARSINA (WASP) -- The Sejm voted down a motion to recognise the Commonwealth of Four Palms yesterday. The motion was submitted by deputies Katarzyna Parydżanka (WWPS) and Jaków Syriusz-Bowiny (UD-DS), who defended their text as follows: "The fact that the people of this region have decided to take their fate in their own hands should be welcomed. It is proof that the Republic of the Two Crowns has done its job properly. Our task was to build up a civil society in Florida and help the Floridians in developing a democracy. The Commonwealth of Four Palms proves that we have achieved these goals, which is something we can be really proud of. At this point, the Republic of the Two Crowns should cooperate with the people of this region, welcome their initiative and be the first country in the world to actually recognise their new state. Once we have done that, we will of course be continuously supporting the people of Four Palms and guiding them further towards democracy."

A majority of the deputies disagreed with this point of view. Deputy Jaków Puliny (ŻŻŻ) argued: "First of all, we don't even know for sure that such a state exists at all. Until now, it seems to be nothing but a rumour. Before there will be anything to recognise, we should first have some conclusive evidence that the Commonwealth of Four Palms is real. After that, we can proceed and debate this matter. For now, we have more important things to do."

Deputy Krzysztof Bach (DN) said: "Even if we take the existence of these Four Palms for granted, we don't have the slightest clue as to who is behind all this. Their proclamation of independence appears to be the work of a group of anonymous, armed terrorists. A state like that is doomed to become a rogue state from the beginning. Let's face it: the Floridians are far from ready for self-government."

Deputy Ramon Fałkonik (BR): "At this point an independent statelet on our territory would be extremely dangerous, not only for us, but also, and primarily, for the people of Florida themselves. Without our military presence in the region, tanks from the NAL would be rolling in within a week. Since we have committed ourselves to protecting the Floridians against foreign aggression, we should not abandon them prematurely."

The motion was voted down with 292 votes against and 239 votes in favour. Interestingly, five deputees from the ŻŻŻ and nine from the BR supported the motion.[JvS]


Wucz Florydzie -- 23.JAN.2009 -- Cuatro Whát???

MIAMI/ORLANDO By: Marek Woliny -- Since a few days, the world has been talking about the so-called "Republica de Cuatro Palmas", which in the language of the motherland translates as "Rzejpybiełka Kotru Pałmar". It has been said that this Republic of the Four Palms is an independent state that was proclaimed recently in our Northern provinces. Some sources even go as far as to suggest that this independent state has already been recognised by Ireland and other states in the region. A sheer impossibility, because how can one recognise a state that does not exist?

"Cuatro whát???", was the first, spontaneous reaction of governor-general Bambaryła after he had been informed about the rumours of a new state on our territory. Everybody knows that the governor-general is a capable and usually very well-informed man, who takes his task more than seriously. It would be hard to find anything of significance in Florida that would have escaped his attention. Therefore, how is it possible that he was unaware of such an important event as the proclamation of an independent state on Southeast Floridean soil? Of course, such a thing is unthinkable. Thus, his first reaction represents the very essence of this so-called new state in a nutshell: that there is no such thing as a Republic of the Four Palms. If anything, it could be a product of someone's vivid fantasy, or one of the bushist rebels' numerous efforts to disseminate erroneous information to create confusion. In other words, nothing to take seriously, nothing to be worried about.

An average politician would have left it at that. But the governor-general not so. His sharp mind immediately detected that there had to be more behind the rumours. Instead of taking a well-deserved night of sleep after a long day of hard work, he started pondering the matter, and quickly thereafter came to a shocking conclusion. He observed an international conspiracy that might seriously jeopardise the peace and stability the people of Florida and their elder brethren from the RTC have worked so hard for. A conspiracy that involves not only the bushist rebels, but also, more importantly, two foreign powers, notably the NAL-SLC and Ireland.

In a rare demonstration of openness, such as can only be found in a true democracy, the governor-general decided to share his thoughts with his beloved subjects. In a dramatic address to the people of Southeast Florida, broadcast life into each and every Floridian household, he informed the people of all the dangers involved, not even omitting certain failures of the RTC administration itself. Among other things, he said:

"I have to admit to all of you, my beloved subjects, that after nearly five years of our rule we still have a long way to go. In spite of our best efforts, there are still groups of people who dream about a return to the days of Jaime Bush and the Floridean-Caribbean empire. It is a known fact that in the thinly populated Northern area of our zone the conditions for small armed groups are optimal. I cannot deny the fact that after numerous cowardly attacks on the lives of our soldiers, my army has been forced to a temporary retreat from the North."

"Now, we don't know for sure who is behind this so-called 'Republic of the Four Palms'. What we do know, however, is that certain foreign powers have cast their greedy eye on our lands. One of them has already been able to incorporate parts of Florida, and has made it more than clear that it is eager for more. We can't of course let this happen. We have to protect you, the people of Florida, to make sure that such a thing is never going to happen. And I hereby vow to you that we will never let it happen."

"In spite of our strict border control, we have been unable to prevent foreign agitators sneaking in from the North. Although we have managed to capture a few of them, others have managed to join the terrorists, or worse, to fade away unnoticed into the local population, hiding and waiting for an occasion to stir up trouble. And here is the answer, my beloved countrymen! We may suspect that it is them who came up with this new invention: the Republic of the Four Palms. We have investigated the situation thoroughly and came to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a Republic of the Four Palms. READ MY LIPS, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A REPUBLIC OF THE FOUR PALMS! I hereby urge you to maintain the utmost caution and not allow yourself to be misguided by these agents", the governor-general concluded.

The board of editors of the Wucz Florydzie, as always committed to the Truth and dedicated to objective, independent news gathering, decided to send a reporter to Orlando, and find out for ourselves what ordinary people think about this new republic. None of the interviewed expressed any sympathy for the idea of a microstate on their soil:

Tomás (62): "Republic of what? Never heard of it. Probably some new commercial to attract tourists, is it?"

Valerio (26): "Four palms? Hell, what a stupid name! There are a hell of a lot more of palms around here, y'know! But if it's nothing bigger than those four palms over there, they can sit underneath them and have their little republic there. As long as they don't make too much noise."

Marguerita (31): "I've seen that there was something going on with flags here in the city, but I had no idea that somebody created a new state here. I certainly hope the RTC won't let that happen, otherwise we'll get the same kind of mess the Irish created in their zone. At least we are happy here and live in peace. Or would have if it hadn't been for them bushist terrorists. Thank God that there's hardly anything left of them, thanks to our liberators."

Manuel (43): "A new state? A NAL complot, for sure! They do anything they can to get hold of our country. Let's hope all this is just a bad dream!"

Carlos (21): "It's never going to happen! Why don't these guerrillas leave us in peace? I pray every morning and every night that the RTC will deal with them once and forever. I've heard that a huge army is coming over from the RTC and can arrive any time now... They will clean up the region once and forever."[JvS]


NEW AMSTERDAM POST -- 22.JAN.2009 -- Harper Lambastes Gore Cabinet

Liberty, Les Plaines -- Progressive Conservative Leader Steven Harper, visiting his home town of Liberty, took time to issue a statement to reporters this morning, decrying what he called "the pervading incompetence" of the current coalition government under General Moderator Gore. Specifically, he referred to statements from Foreign Secretary Bolton regarding Florida (in which he openly insulted the Republic of the Two Crowns) as well as the escalating violence of what is coming to be known as the Signoret Crime War--a battle for control of one of the most powerful factions within the Pegre. Pressure on Senator Howard Provo, current Minister of Justice, in the wake of nearly two dozen murders, has been mounting. Now Harper has linked this with the statements from Bolton.

Following the General Election of 2006, the Whigs have held power in Parliament only with the active alliance of the new Covenant Loyalists--formed from rebellious elements of both Whig and PCs. But the CLs, while enjoying a meteoric rise, have bogged down amid questions of leadership. The recent meeting of the party's National Committee failed to reach a decisive conclusion after eleven ballots, with at last Sir Clive Parker re-elected for another year. Rivalry between Senators Provo and Rodham deadlocked the votes, although an increasingly popular dark horse candidate arose in House Speaker Eugene Levi.

At the same time, Gore's administration has suffered from the failure of his proposed UNICOV program, having been forced to instead accept the CL idea of a National Health Insurance (still facing fierce opposition from the PCs). After dismissing Senator Josette Biden as Foreign Secretary, Gore's first choice for the job was Ion Edwards of Carolina, who resigned suddenly for personal reasons. Given that Edwards was widely seen as Gore's heir presumptive, this was a severe blow. Now his replacement, Rhoberth Bolton, has created an international incident with his usual shoot-from-the-hip style.

Harper declined to call for a Vote of No Confidence, but strongly suggested the Loyal Opposition's job of "holding the government's feet to the fire" was part of what makes the League work, and that "events such those in recent days show the wisdom of that role." It is generally assumed that Harper will be making his own bid for the General Moderator-ship in 2010.[DZ]


WITA WARSINIE -- 22.JAN.2009 -- NAL Threatens RTC!

Warsina -- The government is furious about yesterday's remarks of the American Foreign Secretary Rhoberth Bolton. In the House of Deputies, the minister had called the Republic "a criminal state, eager to create a colony of its own decadence and corruption here in the New World."

"Outrageous", foreign minister Bościciału commented the incident. "What do those Americans know about us? People who have only heard of Lithuania once or twice in their lives and who think Veneda is the capital of Scandinavia suddenly claim to know everything about our country. They don't have the slightest understanding of our sacred mission in Florida. Of all things, how dare they accuse our country, the cradle of democracy, of snorism? This shameful behavious cannot go without consequences."

"Obviously", the minister said, "the NAL is setting up the rest of the world against us. It is not hard to guess what their motives are: to do with Southeast Florida what they did with Northwest and Northeast Florida before: shameful annexation. We should all make a decisive fist against American imperialism."

The minister has summoned NAL ambassador Charles Frankenstein to come to his ministry immediately and give an explanation.[JvS]


NATIONAL NEWS CORPORATION -- 21.JAN.2009 -- NAL Foreign Secretary Insults RTC

Philadelphia -- Speaking in the House of Deputies, Foreign Secretary Rhoberth Bolton called the Republic of the Two Crowns "a criminal state, eager to create a colony of its own decadence and corruption here in the New World." He was answering questions from colleagues regarding the recent proclamation of the Commonwealth of Four Palms in Southern Florida. Specifically, the question from Deputy Jacob Running Horse (Utawia - PC), about what the team of Senators now on a fact-finding mission in the occupied zone expected to find. Bolton noted that expectations can interfere with the very mission of learning the facts, but that "given the nature of the so-called Republic of the Two Crowns" then went on to describe the RTC in unflattering terms and suggested that a nascent attempt at a SNOR-esque colony was a "very real possibility."[BK]


CHICAGO SIGNALER -- 19.JAN.2009 -- Floridian rally shakes up Chicago as thousands turn out in support of Cuatro Palmas

It seemed that Chicago's entire Floridian community had turned out Monday for a massive rally in support of the newly declared Commonwealth of Cuatro Palmas in RTC-occupied Southeast Florida. Marchers gathered at the Efeseyist Riot Memorial and marched 18 blocks through the downtown area to a rally held on the lakefront at Humphrey Park. Chicago police estimate that more than 20,000 people participated in the march, with thousands more attending the rally.

The mounting tension between Cuatro Palman rebels and RTC troops in South Florida in recent months has been felt in Chicago, where an established Venedic community lives side by side with rapidly growing numbers of Floridians, both from the provinces of East and West Florida, and from the European-occupied South. No violence has broken out, but there have been many reports of politically motivated vandalism in both Floridian and Venedic neighborhoods.

When Cuatro Palmas delcared independence last week, Floridians in Chicago and elsewhere spontaneously took to the streets in celebration. Monday's event was more organized, with advertisements in Castilian newspapers and an agressive word-of-mouth campaign designed to maximize turnout. Reporters talked to a number of Floridian youths who skipped school in order to attend the rally.

"We're here because we want a free Florida," said one teen who wished to remain anonymous. "That's more important than one day of class, don't you think?"

Some leaders aren't so sure. Alderman Daniol Lepórz spoke out against the marchers' use of banners resembling the old flag of Florida-Caribbea. "These kids should be in school learning the values of our own country, not out on the streets waving the flags of our old enemy."

Among the politicians speaking in Humphrey Park were Elder Brothers Lorenzo Gutierrez and Rhoberth Rush, who came from Philadelphia to lend their support to the rally. Municipal Chief Henry Knightley would neither support nor oppose the rally, but did commend "the spirit of activism that makes Chicago such a great city."[BK]


16.JAN.2008 -- El Tiempo (San Agustin) -- Senatorial Committees Head South

This afternoon at 3pm, a committee composed of Senators Robles and Carasaig, from East and West Florida respectively, will meet with leaders of the Four Palms Commonwealth to discuss the provisional Armistice with the RTC and also conduct a fact-finding mission that will explore how the transfer of authority from Scandinavian to RTC control was effected and the results of the present occupation.

Senator Robles said while en route to Four Palms this morning: "Our provinces, East and West Florida, have done very well since the war. We are growing concerned day by day that our fellow Floridians are not faring so well, and in fact seem to be suffering far worse than they should. We wish to find out what is going on here in Cuatro Palmas; and then our plan is to head south and go to Miami to speak with the RTC's High Command. Enough blood was spilled here during the war and occupation, and enough people have died in the camps. The NAL wishes to see an end to the occupation and the carrying through of some kind of Plan for South Florida's future. I think we're seeing the seed of that Plan germinating here in Cuatro Palmas. Time will tell if it is allowed to grow and thrive."

Thus far, the Armistice has held and the Committee hopes to arrive in Miami some time next week or the week after.[PB]

IBAP/EET -- 14.JAN.2009 -- Morris assassination trial begins

A panel of three judges heard opening statements in the long-awaited trial of fourteen suspects in the attempted assassination of Andrew Morris. The panel is the first to ever be appointed by Henua's council, one of five that will comprise the main tier of its new judiciary. Press from across Polynesia and beyond were on hand to document the proceedings, which will seek to discover who planted the bomb at a September festival on Henua that nearly killed the Anglo-Cambrian superinvestor. Notably absent from the freshly painted courtroom was Morris himself, who remains on the Tokelau Islands preparing to assume the role of their head of state this year. Morris was represented by a group of Henua attorneys authorized to speak for him.

The defendants, six from Henua and eight from the nations of Aotearoa, Toga, and Fiji, have been in jail in Haña Roa for months while Henua created a new court system from scratch that would be considered competent to hear an international conspiracy case. Observers from the Austronesian League and the League of Nations were on hand to ensure that the opening of the trial proceeded in accordance with international standards and with Henua law. Both bodies had threatened sanctions if Henua could not enact adequate reforms to its legal system that could guarantee justice to victims of crimes and protect the rights of accused persons.[BK]


BBC World News, Caribbean Desk -- 8.JAN.2009 -- Amazing Developments in South Florida

A little more than a year after the BBC sent a team of journalists into South Florida to find out exactly what is going on there, a second team spent the last months of 2008 there, and what is going on down there is sure to come as a shock to many. As before, the situation in the Irish Zone of Control is cautiously optimistic. The economic outlook is still good as tourists return to the warm weather and sunny beaches of western Florida. The Irish "germanisation plan" has not as of yet been enacted, so SW Floridians continue to gripe about their lack of political clout within the by now de facto colonial situation. Yet, the Irish have continued to be fair and tolerable colonial overlords, and have also continued to reiterate that they are waiting upon events in South-Eastern Florida, the RTC's Zone of Control, before enacting the Plan.

And it is indeed events in SE Florida of late that are of most interest to all.

28.NOV.2008 -- El Tiempo (San Agustin) -- NAL Invaded! -- Que Paso?

Yesterday, local militia detachments were called to service in the "demilitarised zone" along the border between the Province and the RTC's ZOC, with reports of "rebel incursions" into the Province. Cmdr. Juan Carlos Zuniga-Corazon stated that the so-called rebel incursion turned out to be a detachment of RTC land forces who were attempting to quash local rebels and got lost. Zuniga quipped: "Lost? Lost is wandering a few hundred yards across the border. These men were heading southwest out of Las Palmas region, straight for Tampa and had been in East Florida for the better part of a day! We found them a good eight miles inside the border."

The RTC detachment were detained overnight, fed, and returned to a local checkpoint the next morning. Militiamen joked that they would buy all the RTC soldiers new compasses for Christmas.

29.NOV.2008 -- El Tiempo -- Nationalists Gain Strong Foothold

The grassroots movement known as Frente Nationalista has gained strong footholds of popularity among the ravaged population of SE Florida since its inception in early 2005. Based on a strong sense of civilian activism and non-violent resistance, the people of the RTC's ZOC are sending clear messages to their occupiers: "You are not welcome here!"

A quasi-political party, la Partida Nationalista has arisen along the northern marches, especially in the Las Palmas, Kissimee, Bahia de Las Palmas and Orlando regions. Illegal and unofficial "governments" have arisen in all the "temporary relocation camps" that dot the Floridian landscape, and the Nationalistas have proven to be extremely popular among disenfranchised and despairing Floridians.

14.DEC.2008 -- El Tiempo (San Agustin) -- Fighting Heats Up in Las Palmas

The Nationalist stronghold of Las Palmas erupted in new fighting this week as RTC forces were again forced to retreat in the face of fierce firefights, booby traps and civilian non-violence protests. Several towns have fallen to Nationalist forces and it is expected that some time before New Year, Las Palmas and Kissimee will be in Nationalist hands.

When asked about the seemingly rapid success of the uprisings in Las Palmas, one local man, who asked to remain unnamed out of fear of reprisals by occupation forces, said: "Quite simply, anyone willing to fight against the European devils is our friend and we'll stand up with them! Every time a bird poops on an RTC soldier's head, we say "Ah!, that bird is a Nationalista! You see, we have no one on our side, so this fight is ours, and we are proud to take up arms again. Not as Florida-Caribbea anymore -- that's dead. Here, we consider ourselves Palmistas, and are fighting for Las Palmas. We know that others in Orlando and Bahia are also fighting the same fight. We're not yet united, but we all share the same common goal! I think we're in the right, and in the end will prevail."

25.DEC.2009 -- Radio Las Palmas Libre -- Astonishing Victory!

"The Provisional Governing Council of the Las Palmas Region has today liberated the military and government installations of the Las Palmas region and has now issued a 'Declaration of Independence' to the rulers of the RTC and delivered it to leaders of the invasion forces. The Declaration spells out all the crimes against humanity committed by Scandinavian invaders and RTC occupiers alike since 2004 and under no certain circumstances declares Las Palmas to be a free and independent Commonwealth.

"Copies have been drafted and sent with ambassadors to the Irish occupiers and to the NAL at San Agustin. The Governing Council has declared a cease fire against RTC forces presently in retreat in Kissimee, stating that the invaders have left Las Palmas and 'we will not pursue them into other sovereign territories'.

"With shouts of 'Cuatro Annos -- Basta!', the rallying cry of the Nationalists, the flag of the Commonwealth was hoisted above the region's military installations and old government buildings."

30.DEC.2008 -- Radio Las Palmas Libre -- Orlando, Kissimee and Bahia Resist Valiantly!

"Combining civilian non-violent resistance with hard-fighting tactics, three regions in the northern quarter of the RTC's ZOC, namely Orlando, Kissimee and Bahia de Las Palmas, have driven RTC forces nearly to their borders. Key towns in all three regions, plus military supply depots, radio stations and aerodromes have been captured by Nationalist forces.

"United under one flag, the Tres Manos coalition has been making great strides at resisting RTC occupation the last two years. Many setbacks in 2006 and early 2007 have been reversed, and now, on the verge of the new year, it seems that 2009 will see some kind of liberty for long oppressed Floridians in the region."

12.JAN.2009 -- El Pais (Las Palmas) -- Peace, Liberty Hang in the Balance

At last, cries of "Cuatro Annos == Basta!" are ringing out throughout the four Nationalist commonwealths. The last columns of RTC have retreated south to Rzeba Marze, but not before their commander signed a provisional armistice with leaders of the Provisional Governing Council, where the provisional governors of Las Palmas, Orlando, Kissimee and Bahia de Las Palmas met with RTC commanders to discuss their withdrawal.

Marco-Antonio Cortez, provisional governor of Bahia stated that "Peace and Liberty themselves now hang in the balance. This armistice with the Republic of the Two Crowns relies entirely on the honour of one army captain. If the RTC decides to invade our lands -- again -- we shall resist as we must, with valour but without much hope for another victory. They know we are weakened, but now they also know we are tough and unwilling to live in squalid tent cities anymore!"

The four provisional governors, meeting in Cocoa, reaffirmed the Declaration of Independence and further proposed the formation of the Commonwealth of the Four Palms, in order to offer a united face to the world and to speak with more authority to other powers in the region. The provisional governing councils of the four regions acquiesced and formed the Gobierno Provisional of the Commonwealth.

Ambassadors from the newly declared Commonwealth set out immediately for Tampa (Irish ZOC), Miami (RTC ZOC) and San Agustin (NAL) seeking recognition and a general armistice with the RTC. What remains to be learned is the RTC's reaction to events of the last month, and most especially of the last week or so. Also to be learned will be the reactions of Nationalist activists and sympathisers in and around Miami. Will they rise up, or will RTC forces crush them before they are able to mount a strong resistance?...[PB]


NATIONAL NEWS CORPORATION -- 5.JAN.2009 -- Former Ontario Moderator Dies

Pay-d'en-haut -- Louis Arquette, the previous Moderator of Ontario Province and long-time ally of General Moderator Gore, was discovered dead in his Outaouais home this morning. Arquette, the younger son of a wealthy lumber tycoon, rose from dilletante college student living on a stipend to one of the most powerful men in his province through decades of advocacy for liberal causes. He was a community organizer, a fund-raiser, a protester and finally a member of the Ontario Assembly. He rose to leadership of the Whigs and in 1991 become Moderator, a post he held until losing a reelection bid against the current office-holder, Covenant Loyalist (then Progressive Conservative) Sir Clive Parker. Arquette, whose pipe became his trademark, struggled against conservative elements in the Assembly for much of his term so many of his most treasured goals--such as Same Sex Marriage and universal health care--never became reality on his watch.

A devout Latin Rite Catholic, he never married. He had been hospitalized twice in the last three years following heart attacks.[DZ]


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